Happily Married with an ex WL(VN) [Archive] - The Asian Commercial Sex Scene

casannova03

31-10-2008, 06:26 PM

"ok lor..anyway now i got lots of time and i need a drink anyway...where??""

..."tonight we go JC ok? the rest of the gang wanna go try some delicacy. PRCs they sian liao...."

"huh? what delicacy? knn..char bor from where one? i tell you first ah if the place is full of pinoys or indo i dun want ah!!" i told my colleague (let's just call him Ro)

"bo la, pinoy and indo you call delicacy meh? tonight we drink vinamilk!! haha, confirm you never try before.." Ro replied

" ok lor, on you...meet there straight or got ahmad come pick me? what time?" i asked

"same time, but today place at JC the XX pub . Of course meet there la...knn you everytime thinking of free limo service.." Ro replied

<<At that time 5-6 years ago, the only places where you see VN gals are at JC or marine parade...think the old birds know what i am saying..these days you can find them quite about everywhere..even jurong also have sia!!!>>

"ok set! eh but tips how much one ah? knn i NSF lei not like you all regulars....suka suka song song drink and teh ne ne.." i asked so that i can bring enough money if not paiseh...

"aiya, you knn just bring yourself and $50 go...drinks on us la.. cos you ccb everytime want to treat you and ask you out, like asking emperor out....today can treat you they sure think tio 4D!!!" Ro laughed and suan siao at me. Cos i seldom join them for drinks and always reject them...haha...good BF ma

So we met at the XX pub at 9pm that very evening. When i reached, there were lots of gals walking outside the pub and some at the coffeeshop opposite..my first impressions were: what the fuc?? what have i been missing man??? you mean these days got these types of char bor around pubs ah??

you see at that time most pubs were flooded by pinoys and indos or PRCs and i quite dislike these places because most of them not lookers or those that are chio are very dao so i was not hooked to go drinking at these type of places. However, VN gals i must say wear very sexily when they work...much more than PRCs ...although many of them may lose out in terms of fairness of the skin or looks, they sure made it up by wearing thin, figure hugging dresses...Their small frame also helped in a sense that they seem so sexy, small, and huggable....size seems just right to fit into any SG man's arms....

Dunno who the fuc teach them to wear like that but it seems everyone is quite uniformed on the way they dress...but who's complaining...certainly not me...haha...

------------------------------

that's it for now guys....i know very short but i really lazy la...type long long very tiring...

ok anyone got objections to this style of writing?? cos a lot of conversations ...or is it better to write from just my point of view?? Let me know k

aakumu

31-10-2008, 06:51 PM

This thread is dedicated to the so many bros who have fallen in the quest for a partner from the WL realm.. It is never easy but its not hard. Serious!! You have to know what you are doing....who you are dealing with and what kind of a partner you want for the rest of your life...

I think i will do this from the beginning which is like 5 yrs++ ago so that bros can draw inference from all my experiences...

I do not promise that it will be exciting(getting into a relationship with a WL never is and never will be!!!)

I do not promise this to be some blockbuster with fantastic language....

But i do promise this to be something that is the closest to my heart... something that is direct,true, without bias and real time( as in my thoughts and feelings at that particular point in time)

give me sometime to recollect ok...i will post as soon as i think i got the scenario right.

Hi bro,
Glad to see a happy ending.
Waiting to read more about your story.

My humble two cents.

ekemono

31-10-2008, 07:40 PM

[QUOTE=casannova03;3193348anyone got objections to this style of writing?? cos a lot of conversations ...or is it better to write from just my point of view?? Let me know k[/QUOTE]

It will be difficult to write down all the conversations. Perhaps you can describe how you met her, your dating with her, what brings about the commitment to be together, any difficulties you or her or both faced while being together. Then how the marriage came, how was it celebrated, where does both of you stands now, any children, future plan.

So many things to write.

Darkstorm

31-10-2008, 08:00 PM

that's it for now guys....i know very short but i really lazy la...type long long very tiring...

ok anyone got objections to this style of writing?? cos a lot of conversations ...or is it better to write from just my point of view?? Let me know k

Write from your point of view. I like your existing style.

:)

Jacques Rougeau

31-10-2008, 09:46 PM

Nice of you to share your experience. Wish you all the best in continued bliss.

Thom07

01-11-2008, 03:38 PM

Pitching my tent here with some beers/stouts and tibits .

Ehhh where is your martell? :confused: :D

longwinter

01-11-2008, 11:05 PM

do continue the story. camping here!!! :)

peterpan_24

03-11-2008, 03:07 AM

casannova03

03-11-2008, 11:58 AM

waiting here too fr more update....;) always nice to heard a nice ending blooming frm a r/s with an ex WL as compare to the many sad ones......
haha seeing u talking JC scence make me remember my ns time too ...seem like tht a veri popular place fr old brids ns personnel like u and me few yrs ago but heard nw like a ghost town .... :D:D

yeah man...i went back last sat just to soak up the atmosphere at my meeting place to get inspiration for my thread...sad to sad its not as 'happening' as last time already...

anyway bros pls bear with me k...i will be busy till wednesday so most prob will only post the next part then....stay tuned!

The Landlord

03-11-2008, 04:46 PM

Bro, will wait for your story.

The Landlord

05-11-2008, 06:29 PM

Bro, please continue leh....:)

casannova03

10-11-2008, 02:57 AM

hey bros ...so sorry i din fuilfil my promise to write it out on wednesday...i was really busy and to add to that i had a quarrel with my wife...haha..(not all exactly rosy as you may see) but which relationship does not have.... anyway, i will try and get the next edition done up by monday evening...sorry bros and thanks for waiting....;)

Darkstorm

10-11-2008, 03:47 AM

chris8080

10-11-2008, 07:33 AM

It will be difficult to write down all the conversations. Perhaps you can describe how you met her, your dating with her, what brings about the commitment to be together, any difficulties you or her or both faced while being together. Then how the marriage came, how was it celebrated, where does both of you stands now, any children, future plan.

So many things to write.

ya u r right bro eke :D camping for more pls continue ...... :)

casannova03

15-11-2008, 02:21 PM

paiseh paiseh!!! sorry sorry

Missing for so long...haha...i was busy with work and of course trying to make the missus happy....kena caught go KTV la...hahahaha anyway i will post a series now....in th next hour...thanks all bros for opinions and ideas..i think i will take bro ekemo's idea and write with less conversations and more relating of events...this should make reading easier and of course my typing easier as well..haha

stay tuned....

casannova03

15-11-2008, 02:42 PM

continued....

.... So when the whole gang was there, we went into the pub..we past by 4 rooms before reaching the main pub area(old birds should know which one i am talking about because they have since renovated and there are no longer rooms in it) It was quite dark but by the look of it, there were gals aplenty. We settled down and gals started to approach us. i set my eyes on one particular gal (not my wife) she was stiing alone at one of the empty tables but somehow she refuse to come over and she was busy playing with her handphone. While i was trying to make eye contact to signal her, one of the gals led her'sister' to me. I took a look and said ok. cos she was very shy and had a very very different dressing from other gals. you know the type like shanghai tan? haha her blouse had fur around the edges?? quite unique while at the same time not like ah soh cheaongsam type...<<Lesson 1: Fate does play a part, if you believe in it ,cos my initial target was not my wife but another gal..turn out she is my wife's best friend..even till today>>

So i sat with her and communicated with her in english, cos that was the only othr language she spoke besides Vietnamese. I will not bore you with the usual introduction stuffs and the getting to know you stage cos i believe for all situations that should be SOP. Found out that she was here because she wanted to make money to build a house for her family cos that's her dream and of course to give them a better life. She told me that besides that her family have no other issues. found out that she was here on student's pass and thus unlike other gals she dun wanna dress too provocatively as her pass was at stake. The more i talk to her, the more i fell in love <<KC-ed??>> Anyway, there was the standard rubba rubba actions and all and before the night end, i actually sat with another gal, also her friend. Her friend was damn active cos keep rubbing the groin area and cooing up to me but somehow, i took a liking to my wife cos she was decent compared to the rest and was shy.

When the night ended, i got her number and returned to camp.(I chose to stay in camp cos got free food and night snacks!!! ahaha). I sent her a long msg to say goodnight and guessed what? she forwarded the whole msg back to me. Turned out that at that time her english is not as good and she copied and sent the whole msg back because she wants to say the same thing but dunno how to type ....haha...clever !!

I decided to join my friends more frequently after that night....

*Tip was $20 for her friend and $30 for her...used up my $50 i brought that night:(

Darkstorm

15-11-2008, 10:59 PM

casannova03

18-11-2008, 03:22 PM

THE DATING

After several more visits to the pub, i started to date her out. Communication between her and me was quite funny at time, with her broken english and my broken vietnamese. ..At this point in time, she and I have not even been engage in anything sexual.(yet) I din ask and she din offer so we kept it at that. what was between us was something more like a mutual need to know the other side better. ..(well, i din know it was mutual until after i got married and my wife told me.) So bros at this point in time, what i know is I want to know more about her.So to me, it was one sided. (i guessed many bros feel the same out there initially) Dangerous as it is, i wanna find out more....

Lesson 2: Give yourself and her a chance. Keep an open mind! Do give each other more time to learn more..is she the one? Only through time you will find out.... If you dun even know yourself, dun bother asking others who will be more clueless..

We started to go on dates and got closer to each other. For me, i did what i would normally do to a local gf if i had one. Things like going to movies (although she dun understands most of them), going to seasides(a lot of bros in here do this...i know ok!!!), eating at places with good food. It was like normal. We were happy when we go out and this feelings grows in me. I wanted to meet her everyday and so i did, as shown by my daily visits to the pub. rain or shine,alone or with friends, i'll be there when she's at work and i will send her home when work's done. In the afternoons, i will send her to school and pick her up in the evenings from school back to her home. As more often than not i will be alone at the pub, So one day she asked me:" why do you come everyday, you very rich is it?" To which i replied:" No, i am not rich but i can still afford a jug of beer every other day. I want to make sure nothing happens to you when you work here, besides if the police do come, at least i am here!" At this point, she put her fingers to my lips and said:" dun say, no lucky!"

However, after that day, she keeps pestering me not to go there and drink everyday. i did not know why she was doing this. I felt sad and all the more i wanted to go and see her. however, i continued my daily ritual of sending her to and fro work.Such was my frequency at the pub that staffs there all knew about me.. even till today when i pop in once in a while they will ask about my wife.. anyway, the more i went there, the more unhappy she was.....Well, at this point, i will highlight what many bros must have felt, myself included.(doubt starts to set in)

I thought:"this is it. She's trying to ask me to keep a distance cos she feels i no money and cannot get anything much from me!!!""

"So far so good ma, i think she likes me and of course i lke her...but is she true?? why now start to treat me like that?? well, my friends are telling me she's only after your money and to get PR la (cos at that time that's what's reported in the LIANHE WANBAO with regards to PRCs...Hot Topic that time!!!). I just told myself, :" well, she hasn't asked for anything and so far what i've given her (flowers, a cheap diamond necklace (from TAKA Jewellery that time just open and diamond very low grade so i spent like $50 on the super small diamond necklace) are what i want to give and not asked for. No money nothing....perhaps money spent on food and going out to movies...thats all.... maybe she see i still young and no money so wanna 'let go' and look for bigger fish???

i start to worry and all sorts of negative scenarios start to form in my mind....scenes of her with other guys talking and laughing, of her in bed with them(i haven had any sexual relationship with her thus far), of them trying to bed her and of old man touching her.....Shit man!!! i cannot stand it.....

(any bros have similar feelings at a certain point in time???)

Now, with the benefit of hindsight, here's my advice....

Lesson 3: Bros, if you feel that there is a certain feeling from her towards you (i dunno how to explain feelings...only you know) never never entertain such thought!!! It's destructive to your relationship with her. It will come out in the words you say to her and it will show in your actions...they will know...A strict NO-NO..

Darkstorm

18-11-2008, 04:02 PM

THE DATING

Lesson 3: Bros, if you feel that there is a certain feeling from her towards you (i dunno how to explain feelings...only you know) never never entertain such thought!!! It's destructive to your relationship with her. It will come out in the words you say to her and it will show in your actions...they will know...A strict NO-NO..

Please explain Lesson 3....think I broke the rule....and I am not sure I understand why you have this rule......

casannova03

18-11-2008, 04:02 PM

Continued.....

....So with the intent to find out more about these self-destructing and negative thoughts, i decided to find out from her. So i ask her one day at the pub " why you ask me dun come, you dun want to see me anymore right? well you can tell me straight and i wouldn't come from tomorrow" my tone was not exactly nice but not angry just a bit demanding......

She looked at me and wanted to say something "I....." then she walked away...I felt like a loser...lost!! Then i saw her at the corner near the pool table with her best friend beside her... I walked over and saw that her face was a mess!! Mascara was smeared and tears were flowing freely and her friend was try her best to console her...more of her friends start to come over...i felt like a criminal !! but i mean what did i do??

Her best friend pulled me away and all the way out of the pub...along the way, ppl were looking at me...i felt very embarrassed...once outside, her friend who can speak mandarin started to interrogate me....

"Ni gen ta jiang se mo? wei shen mo ta ku dao je yang?" Ni chi fu ta shi ma?"

I protested my innocence...." Mei you ah, wo chi shi wen ta wei shen mo yi chi jiao wo bu yao lai he jiu? then wo gen ta jiang ru kuo ta bu xiang kan tao wo de hua, chong ming tian kai shi wo yong yuan bu yao lai liao lor!"

Her best friend took a look at my face as if to see if i was lying....they are good lie detectors...haha.......then once she thinks that i am not lying, she replied<<i lazy to type hanyu pinyin sorry la ok>> " No wonder she cry until like that, sigh, why you so stupid?

Well, for a moment i felt stupid because i really dun know what the hell was going on!!!

Her best friend then said " you know what we are working as right?? you know how we earn money right? yes let ppl touch here and there then take tip ma..you everyday come and sit there how she work? She dun want you to see her working you understand??

I am still puzzled so i asked " why not? i dun understand...i also know her here what? to me nothing wrong ma!!"

She laughed " you virgin ah? first time have girlfriend is it?? which girl want the man they like to see them being touched and hugged by another man?? We know you can accept because you never say anything but she cannot accept ma...understand xiao di di???

For a while ,her best friend's face looked like Goddess of Mercy descending from the sky with the bright lights behind her head:D:D.....
I understood the full meaning of her words. My gal likes me...at least now i know she is true...i mean which WL got time to go one corner and cry and ignore her work...for another man....this was great news... but..

...i thought about my tone when i questioned her...shit...its so hurting...all she wants is to refrain me from seeing her being hugged and touched by other man...she is trying to protect my feelings and there i was doubting her and telling her if she dun like i wun come from tomorrow onwards... OUCH!! i am sure it hurts..

NOTE: Thus far, my communication with my wife was minimal. my Viet was laughfable and her english was basic... so most of the time, we use our limited knowledge and hand signs to communicate and a lot of things were felt in the heart and thru gentle touches and strokes of the face or hair....(you know what i mean??) So my wife was quite frustrated that she was not able to let me understand her well meaning intention and was even more sad when I said i will not not be around the next day.....

Lesson 4: Dun ASSUME...its the mother of all fucked-ups (to quote a certain bro from this forum). In a relationship with VN gals, With limited communication ability comes little understanding between each other and more tendency for misunderstandings... this must be handled with an open mind and sincere heart, patience helps too.

casannova03

18-11-2008, 04:08 PM

Please explain Lesson 3....think I broke the rule....and I am not sure I understand why you have this rule......

ermm its not a rule la...Those lessons i highlighted in red are important points i felt bros in relationship with Vn gals should look out for...

As to why i highlighted lesson 3, read on and you will know....;)

MoonBlaze

18-11-2008, 04:10 PM

casannova03

18-11-2008, 04:17 PM

Lesson learnt : - If the WL like you, they will not like to see you at their work place. They do not like you to see what they are doing, be it just chit-chating with her customer.
Chances are she will be watchful of herself and also a lookout for you, worrying that you are by yourself. All this will affect her focus on her work.

I always enjoy stories, especially those from their real life.
Keep it going!

Thanks bro!! You are right!!

We all know what they do to make money dun we?? so in the course of their work, they have to coo up to customers and snuggle up to them in order to make customers feel loved and thus a potential for bigger tips later......

so if she really likes you, she is very afraid that you might take those actions as REAL and she will have a lot of explaining to do....

Anyway, i will explore more on this issue and the problems that it brings in the next installment...

stay tuned!!!;)

KonKam

18-11-2008, 04:27 PM

aiyooo...

think this is going to happen to me liao..

lucky come across this your posting...

as for me,,,,not viet girl but thai ger doing massage...(should be no hanky panky type)

so far,i love the good thai massage there...never have the intention to involve in anything.

aiyohhh...ended just few days back...the thai ger call me teerak....
aiyoo aiyooo..

finacially i am not sound ler...but continue with your story....it is so enlighthing

MoonBlaze

18-11-2008, 04:35 PM

aiyooo...
think this is going to happen to me liao..
aiyohhh...ended just few days back...the thai ger call me teerak....
aiyoo aiyooo..
finacially i am not sound ler...but continue with your story....it is so enlighthing Dun read too much into how she address you. Else you will have a lot of headache in the future. Unless you really wantsto plan a future with her. Not saying right or wrong in having a R/S with WL, it is subjective. But what i can say is that it will be a tough journey. Many life experience shared on SBF had proven it. Cheers!:)

technofreak

18-11-2008, 04:37 PM

Anyway, i will explore more on this issue and the problems that it brings in the next installment...

stay tuned!!!;)

I truly empathize with you bro...

1) If you go to her workplace, it'll be a distraction to her.

2) If you don't go and see for yourself, your mind will never feel at ease. You'll keep wondering whether she did any hanky-panky behind your back like going hotels for the extra bucks etc.

I did feel this way in the past with some con gais when I first started chionging little HCM...But now I've grown out of it...;)

Regards,
Techno

casannova03

19-11-2008, 11:39 AM

I truly empathize with you bro...

1) If you go to her workplace, it'll be a distraction to her.

2) If you don't go and see for yourself, your mind will never feel at ease. You'll keep wondering whether she did any hanky-panky behind your back like going hotels for the extra bucks etc.

I did feel this way in the past with some con gais when I first started chionging little HCM...But now I've grown out of it...;)

Regards,
Techno

yeah, i guess most of us do feel like that at a certain stage in the relationship and this, i must sayis one of the big hurdle to cross if anyone is to have a successful relationship....

I'll share on how to overcome this in my next installment....;)

Reaper

20-11-2008, 01:32 AM

Sorry to interupt this thread but would just like to say one thing,

TRUST!!!!! it is a very very important thing. It can also be a dirty word. If you trust her enough, you should let her work in peace. No girl grows up dreaming of working as a "hostess" letting man grope and screw (even thouh I know a few..nhehehh).

If you stay at home without seeing her and funny/jealous/insecure thoughts are running through your mind, you are not ready. Dont forget, even if you take her out of the scence, you cant take the scence out of her. Afterall, her only friends in Singapore would be her ex-colleagues

If she truly feels for you, she wouldnt want you to see her this way. Afterall, Vietnam women take full pride in things they do, be it their work or how they care for their loved ones.

The main purpose of me writing this is to congratulate Casanova.

I am sure Casanova is reaping the benefits of all his hard work and understanding of his wife and her feelings.

I SALUTE YOU!!!!! I do hope to find sucess in a relationship one day....

SingViet

20-11-2008, 07:33 AM

Marriage life is very much different from that of bachelor life. The responsibilities involved is not what a bachelor can understand. Until the day you enter a marriage and stay there for a couple of years, you cannot fully understand what marriage life is like. I never listen to bachelor's views on their EXPERIENCE on marriage as they have none as what comes out is just their perception of marriage after listening to their friend's woes.

TRUST in marriage is important, but often, the actions and words that come from Vietnamese spouse don't allow you to trust them. TRUST is EARNED, not GIVEN. If your vietnamese spouse has spent the effort to earn your trust, CONGRATS!!! My spouse has spent the time and lots of effort to earn my trust thru the years and this i feel blessed. :D

casannova03

20-11-2008, 01:54 PM

I am sure Casanova is reaping the benefits of all his hard work and understanding of his wife and her feelings.

I SALUTE YOU!!!!! I do hope to find sucess in a relationship one day....

Thanks bro....its nothing to be proud or anything....only thing is its a less treaded path vis-a-vis other normal marriages...

I hope that my sharing will help other bros who are thinking of or if not already on the same path as me....i hope to provide an insight with the benefits of my hindsight..this will help them to better make judgements and decisions to which i have no access 5 years ago..

Dun worry bro, with a sincere heart, you will meet another to match yours!!;)

casannova03

20-11-2008, 02:03 PM

Marriage life is very much different from that of bachelor life. The responsibilities involved is not what a bachelor can understand. Until the day you enter a marriage and stay there for a couple of years, you cannot fully understand what marriage life is like. I never listen to bachelor's views on their EXPERIENCE on marriage as they have none as what comes out is just their perception of marriage after listening to their friend's woes.

totally agreed!! thanks for the insight bro...I can only add on by saying that it takes both hands to clap and in order to make the loudest sound possible, both hands must have the best syncronisation and understanding.

For VN wife? Let's see if this works....Ahem!....

.....
Treat her like a gold and she holds you tight never letting go,

Treat her like a maid and pronto she goes find another mate!
......

:p:p: Pardon my lame attempt!! hahaha..but hey it sounds good right???:D:D:

naemlo

20-11-2008, 02:46 PM

Dont forget, even if you take her out of the scence, you cant take the scence out of her.

No girl grows up dreaming of working as a "hostess" letting man grope and screw

If u can't even take her out of the scene then forget about love love..... :D

No man will want his real gf to be hugged and bonked by other dirty old men like me. :D

casannova03

20-11-2008, 02:49 PM

dun bluff la....you not old la...but dirty?? hmmmm.......

:D:D

naemlo

20-11-2008, 02:52 PM

dun bluff la....you not old la...but dirty?? hmmmm.......

:D:D

U saying me?? I 66 yrs old liao... not old then what? :D

birdie8819

20-11-2008, 03:34 PM

I 66 yrs old liao...

Ya Ya 66 divided by 2 si bo . :p :D

casannova03

20-11-2008, 03:38 PM

Ya Ya 66 divided by 2 si bo . :p :D

agreed!!! hahahaa if you want 66 than i 99 lor!!!! hahaha:p

naemlo

20-11-2008, 04:02 PM

Ya Ya 66 divided by 2 si bo . :p :D

agreed!!! hahahaa if you want 66 than i 99 lor!!!! hahaha:p

Nbzzz u 2 trying to make me look like baby?? :rolleyes:

v.killers

20-11-2008, 04:06 PM

casannova03

20-11-2008, 04:24 PM

Continued...

....now i know that she is real, a whole lot of considerations came to my mind. I mean let's face it!! When you are in the honeymoon period, all you think of is being with your gal and worrying only about tomorrow...now that she really likes me, my considerations turns and took on a more mid-term plannings.

After the incident at the pub, i had a frank talk with her and she told me that what her friend said was true. She dun want me to be there when she's working because she do not know how i will think when other guys did what they did. Although, i must admit that sometimes i feel jealous and affected, in my mind, i knew she was not mine. She is here for a reason and that reason is money. So i have to put up with that...there is no other choice except that you can settle her problems and ask her to stop work. I could not......

Lesson: When you think you are real, and she's real, your presence at her work place is awkward. Reason being that you will see what you dun want to see and this will be etched in your memory whether you like it or not. So be considerate and dun appear at the work place.

So as agreed, i send her to her work and drop her off and find myself some place to chill out and wait to pick her up after work everyday. What she told me is that she has stop going 'upstairs' even before she met me...and its not due to me..due to some women's problem which i dun have to elaborate here.(not STDs or anything like that for the matter). I had my doubts but what can i say? what can i do? this is where trust comes in and i must admit that to trust a gal working that kinda work they are doing is a massive task. But somehow something inside me told me to trust her. I mean what do i stand to lose?? nothing ....in fact it was savings because i will save on the beer part of it...if she betrays this trust and i happen to find out somehow, then it can only be good for the relationship because then i will know who i am dealing with...no?

Well, as if my wife knows that i doubt her, she asked me along on the next appointment to the Gynae...its there and then that i realised that what she has said to me was true and i got rather concerned about her situation cos it seems quite serious..She had all along been seeking medical attention in Singapore even before i knew her so her records and patient's copy of reports were there for me to see...... from that day onwards, i never doubted her again....and after this incident, she has stuck strictly to her promise and never once broke it...some of you might say 'ya right' she behind your back do things you also dun know.. well, after you read the next part, you will know why i know....(no i didn't do any dectective work or anything like that if that's what you think)......

...At this point in time, i only knew her for about 1-2 months (cannot remember bros...that was five years ago!!). This is an awfully short time to know a person. So bros who think that they have hit the jackpot may wanna reconsider. Let's be true to ourself!! how much can you know from your singaporean girlfriend in 2 months muchless a VN gal?? i mean we have to consider that singapore gals speaks our language, have the same culture and does the same things that we do...so to say that you have found the one VN gal like you did in 2 months is, i'm afraid, gullible...if not ...self deceiving....

...Nevertheless, I was positive! I knew she likes me and well i like her too..but we have to progress on in order to find out more about each other.....

Lesson: While being happy at this stage, I guess you still have to be cautious because, different gals react to a man they like, differently. So my case may not be your case and dun happily take my experiences as your experiences. I hope you see how a gal who likes you makes sure that she gradually shares more and more of her personal issues with you...This i would say is the effort of the gal in trying to make a relationship work...and needless to say,this builds up your trust....Still, practice diligence and as the old saying goes, CAVEAT EMPTOR

jackbl

20-11-2008, 04:50 PM

I heard that u also got many stories to tell (if others may not know, but i shd :D), why not share with us like what Casannova did? I am sure we will benefit from it as much!!! As the leader of sbf in little hcmc(sgp branch) you must lead by example :p

Some feeling sounds relatively similar to mine too.... Kudoooss to casannova

Camping here to hear more story !

Si Geena

20-11-2008, 05:33 PM

It's also important to manage expectations. Manage your own, and you won't find yourself in an emotional roller coaster, thinking too much. Manage hers, so that you will only be burdened by what you can promise.

v.killers

20-11-2008, 05:57 PM

I heard that u also got many stories to tell (if others may not know, but i shd), why not share with us like what Casannova did? I am sure we will benefit from it as much!!! As the leader of sbf in little hcmc(sgp branch) you must lead by example

Hmmm.....First of all, I would like to thank you for shooting this "BIG" Arrow at me:rolleyes: Me only a small fly compared to many "lau jiaos and sifus" here!:)

As my "ENGLISH" is Pte Ltd :o I think better give it a miss and read other contribution !! ^_^

Sorry TS, for coming into your thread to TCSS:(

casannova03

20-11-2008, 06:03 PM

Sorry TS, for coming into your thread to TCSS:(

No problem la.....every Tee Bee program also have commercial break ma...hahahaha..

if not my readers see postings after postings of long story, i confirm they 'tau gong gong' one ...hahaha ...and besides all you bro's postings in my thread help me fill up the gap when i not posting ma....so i appreciate it!!!;)

CelestialBeing

21-11-2008, 12:22 PM

wah nice read bro, awaiting your next part of the story. :)

Darkstorm

22-11-2008, 03:21 PM

Waiting for the next part :)

casannova03

22-11-2008, 03:50 PM

Hot Tip from the Missus

Dun have the time to post the next part yet but i was talking with my wife about VN gals last night and she told me one thing....

9 out of 10 gals that come here to work are clever....meaning they know what they want over here ($$)

Only 1 out of 10 is the stupid one who gets cheated by man here...

Analysis= SEE??They have built around their heart, fortresses of defence so that they will not be KC easily...So bros who want to find your way thru these defences have to put in time and effort while at the same time with no guarantee of success...

AND,

If you are married, you are simply asking for trouble...that is you are inviting these gals to use your money...because they know they can never have a truthful and long term relationship with you..so since you are willing to give, ithey are willing to take....dun expect much from this type of relationship...

If you are single, they can still consider if you are the one for her. but their main priority will always come first - $$$. So this is where you have to look out for yourself and judge her words and her actions with you and see if she is for real.. and of course what she REALLY wants....;)

xyz1001

22-11-2008, 06:41 PM

Only 1 out of 10 is the stupid one who gets cheated by man here...

Bro u are being generous. Guess what the stupid one do? She goes to forum.

Dear TS,

I know u are feeling very loved, feel like settling down, and that maybe he is the special one for u. Pls wake up, do not fall into the fantasy dream that u yourself cast on him. He may truly love u becoz u fulfilled his inner-most dream. BUT, one day, he will wake up, is just a matter of time. His frens will try to wake him up, his parents, family members, society... So when reality set in, what do u have left? Is he prepare to walk this dark, long road with u? Sad to say, the chances is really low. Remember Good man dun become cheongster.

KC is customer service. We provide good customer sevice so that they will come back for us. Do not mixed your feelings when working. Period.

Auntie Nicols

And there goes the 1/10...

v.killers

22-11-2008, 08:15 PM

No problem la.....every Tee Bee program also have commercial break ma...hahahaha..

if not my readers see postings after postings of long story, i confirm they 'tau gong gong' one ...hahaha ...and besides all you bro's postings in my thread help me fill up the gap when i not posting ma....so i appreciate it!!!;)

Hahahaha...thank you very much :D

Keep coming your nice story leh;)

casannova03

22-11-2008, 09:10 PM

Bro u are being generous. Guess what the stupid one do? She goes to forum.

Dear TS,

I know u are feeling very loved, feel like settling down, and that maybe he is the special one for u. Pls wake up, do not fall into the fantasy dream that u yourself cast on him. He may truly love u becoz u fulfilled his inner-most dream. BUT, one day, he will wake up, is just a matter of time. His frens will try to wake him up, his parents, family members, society... So when reality set in, what do u have left? Is he prepare to walk this dark, long road with u? Sad to say, the chances is really low. Remember Good man dun become cheongster.

KC is customer service. We provide good customer sevice so that they will come back for us. Do not mixed your feelings when working. Period.

Auntie Nicols
And there goes the 1/10...

Bro...i dun understand you lei!!! you trying to tell me something or is this a cut out from some other threads that you trying to show me????:confused:

A bit no head no tail lei......:p

Can any other bros enlighten me on what bro xyz tring to say??:confused:

jackbl

23-11-2008, 03:28 AM

He said that there no stupid gal.... even there is 1, she will be educated by old bird and then become cleverer...

A bit no head no tail lei......:p

Can any other bros enlighten me on what bro xyz tring to say??:confused:

ekemono

23-11-2008, 08:35 AM

He said that there no stupid gal.... even there is 1, she will be educated by old bird and then become cleverer...

Yes. and the message itself also carries a refereshing change, for we have read of our humble local men being hurt by scheming, cold-hearted working gals but the message speaks of that "stupid gal" being hurt by the men instead.

Probably because poking too much public toilet, trash...etc.. blah blah and wat's worst that was mentioned, they became one themselves.

KangTuo

23-11-2008, 05:01 PM

Yes. and the message itself also carries a refereshing change, for we have read of our humble local men being hurt by scheming, cold-hearted working gals but the message speaks of that "stupid gal" being hurt by the men instead.

Probably because poking too much public toilet, trash...etc.. blah blah and wat's worst that was mentioned, they became one themselves.

Who is stupid and who is scheming... it depends on which side you look at.

xyz1001

23-11-2008, 09:55 PM

He said that there no stupid gal.... even there is 1, she will be educated by old bird and then become cleverer...

Hahaha...wonder why bro colins didn't say anything... hehe :p

casannova03

24-11-2008, 11:58 AM

I see i see...now i know liao...hahaha...no lah...VN gal dunno how to come SBF la...hahaha...the 1 stupid one will most probably be crying somewhere and taking care of her baby while her husband is in jail for some kind of drug related offences or other crimes la....hahah:D

casannova03

25-11-2008, 12:28 PM

Continued...

Getting-To-Know-You Stage

Of all the time spent together, i must say this stage is the most important of them all! so how did it??
I must say mine was quite special cos i doubt many bros are willing to do the same...but i felt it was thru this period of time that i start to know my wife better as a person....

....During this period of time, after my break-up with my ex gf, i was having a turbulent relationship with my mom. Cos of my frequent late coming home. Thus i had almost daily clashes with my mom...It has been some time since i moved out and chose to stay in in my camp... Well, dunno whether it was a mistake or what cos i decided to bring my wife home to meet my parents for dinner. My dad kept asking me to come home but i knew i could not get aong with my mom so i finally relented for a dinner. During the dinner, my mom asked a lot of questions but i could see that she had her doubts....

...after that dinner, she interrogated me and i blew my top ...if you dun like is your problem. Then she blew her top too and took a chopper and went after me!!!!:eek: that was it!!! I moved out permanantly!!

I stayed with my wife from hereon....at a rented apartment somewhere, with her cousins and friends. I was the only male in the apartment!! During this time, I had ORD and was starting my studies in the Uni so sad to say, i had little income. My wife didn't mind and said she would pay the rental till i found a part time job in between my studies...at this point she was still working cos i could not help her with what she wants...

We had a frank and open discussion about our own expectation of each other. She told me what she wants and i told her what i want. We agreed! She wants to continue working till she has saved up enough for her dream house and she made it known that once that was achieved , she will stop working. I make known to her that i can put up with her working but i cannot accept if she were to go upstairs...then when i said this, she scolded me...."you want me to die is it? you forgot what the doctor say ah?? hahaha...i really have forgotten...maybe it was a blessing in disguise cos somehow, her problem disallows her to be engaged in sexual acts.... which is why i am sure she has not done so(before knoe me dun need to say la but also dun need to ask)....

It is also during this time that i start to understand these girls better...i mean when you are staying in the same apartment with them and sending them to work and fetching them home everyday, you get to know their habits, their behind the scene KC-ing of chai taos and all their tricks and moves!! haha...I tell you you want what moves have what moves...sometimes i wonder if their communist schools taught them Tsu Zi art of war as a compulsory lesson!!!!

During this period, i start to understand my wife better She was better than i expected her to be. She dun drink, dun smoke ,dun gamble(RARE!!!) and most importantly dun "shake head". So this actually gave me a better image of her and i sort of liked her more!

The one thing she did that convinced me completely that she love me also occured during this period of time. At that time, my backside itchy as i gambled on soccer matches...I lost....and the thing is i have no money to pay...Lost 2000 over dollars( It was a hell lot to me at that time cos i was still unemployed). I din dare to tell her but i knew i was in deep shit!!! when my friend called me to asked for payment, i will always go one corner and listen and talk in hushed tones. She thought i was talking to another gal!!! haha!! So one day she confronted me and asked me about all the hush hush phone calls. I admitted to her that i had lost on soccer bets and was in deep shit. But like a MAN(have to la!!!) i told her i wil settle myself...maybe lan lan go back borrow money from dad first...but she was very afraid of my safety ....without a word, she went to her suitcase and took out her savings wallet and pulled out two $1000 notes and pass to me!
Knn!! So embarrasing!! stay also never pay liao now still teke char bor money pay socccer debt...wa lan eh...i tell you at that time i really feel I 'lau ka kui nia kor' sibei paiseh.. But it reinforces my love for her...

i mean lets be frank....she cannot go upstairs...so only can work by taking the table tips and this 2000 will take her between 1 week to 2 weeks to earn...it means a lot to her!! but now she's asking me to settle first...Fucking touched!!...really, as i am writing this part, i still feel the sudden flash of warm feeling in my heart...the type of touched feeling...dunno how to describe.... very nice feeling!

I think that this was the iconic event that happened during my stay with her that i fell totally in love with her so much so that my friend's and family's opinion doesn't matter to me anymore...I was willing to go the lonely path and to face the challenges.......with her;)

Lesson: I seriously think that two persons can only know one another that much even if you meet everyday. But living together is a different ball game..it shows out who you really are...your bad habits and your real pattern. I must admit that it is thru this 'living together period' that she get to know me more and vice-versa. It actually multiplies the 'knowing you' process by ten times....So i think that before any of you guys want to get married to any viet gal, try living together for some time first...it will allow you to know what kind of a person she really is...not the facade that she puts on whenever she meets you outside....it will be a good experience and will accelarate your relationship curve!

Spud_Boy

26-11-2008, 05:54 PM

really warms to heart to know bros here who are able to get happily married with ex WL.. esp VN gals.. got a soft spot for them myself..

bro casannova03, wishing u a continued Happy marriage! :D

jackbl

26-11-2008, 09:49 PM

casannova03, your wife got any frens as good as her to intro to other bros here.... at least for a start .... :p

ekemono

26-11-2008, 11:28 PM

very touching experiences you had bro casanova03. I am happy for you :)

tokkon1

26-11-2008, 11:58 PM

Marrying a WL, taking her out of that dreadful but sometime necessary trade... there's honour in there.

Marrying a decent girl then forcing or conning her to be a WL, that's lower than the lowest scoundrel.

Unfortunately, I knew of several such sad cases and worse still some of these girls did it willingly :o

So bro Casanova, I wish for you a long and happy union. You deserve our admiration for the courage to go down this road.

hugecocks

27-11-2008, 12:54 AM

bro,

really touching. hope you will stay happily ever after with your wife.
;)

Boost

27-11-2008, 01:03 PM

Like you said bro... it takes alot.

Trust, understanding and fate...

Congrats that you found what makes you happy. :D

casannova03

27-11-2008, 02:46 PM

casannova03, your wife got any frens as good as her to intro to other bros here.... at least for a start .... :p

My wife sister wanna get married to Singapore lei....Anyone interested??? hahahaaa:D

casannova03

27-11-2008, 02:48 PM

very touching experiences you had bro casanova03. I am happy for you :)

Dun be happy for me la...hahaha...make yourself happy!!! I thought you getting married soon right?

jackbl

27-11-2008, 02:58 PM

Then as Brother-in-law u must help her :D Arrange some dinner session for her to get to know those potential suitors... :p

My wife sister wanna get married to Singapore lei....Anyone interested??? hahahaaa:D

casannova03

27-11-2008, 03:00 PM

Then as Brother-in-law u must help her :D Arrange some dinner session for her to get to know those potential suitors... :p

Wah!! like that i more like pimp lei...hahahaha:p

jackbl

27-11-2008, 03:12 PM

U say lidat not correct liao la... u mean all match-making agencies are pimp la..j/k..:D

Just go for simple dinner.. with u and wife around... chat and exchange tel no... if interested then can continue further...

Wah!! like that i more like pimp lei...hahahaha:p

casannova03

27-11-2008, 03:15 PM

rapebill

27-11-2008, 04:56 PM

i mean lets be frank....she cannot go upstairs...so only can work by taking the table tips and this 2000 will take her between 1 week to 2 weeks to earn...

can a gal really earn so much in table tips in just 1 or 2 weeks?

jackbl

28-11-2008, 02:26 AM

Yeah, i also have doubt about this figure....

can a gal really earn so much in table tips in just 1 or 2 weeks?

casannova03

28-11-2008, 02:04 PM

Yeah, i also have doubt about this figure....

can a gal really earn so much in table tips in just 1 or 2 weeks?

5 years ago, it definitely is possible..old birds with gals from that era should know this...some gals even get this amount in a week.... not now though with the exploding population of viet gals and limited customers...

In the heydays, it was the other way round...the pub will be packed of custs with limited gals ...so its not suprising that each gal are able to hve average of 5 tables per night...working on 25 dollars average per table and that she works only 6 days ..

1 week= 750
2 week= 1500

and last time the least was at least 20 bucks.... with 30 the norm and many who like their gals giving 50.... unlike now...10 buck also they happily sup!!!

times have changed!! last time you try give 10 dollar and see what happen......the next time you go, you will suddenly find that how come all the gals avoid me? hahaha ...news of misers spreads fast among their camp!!!!!

for your info: when i was staying with them last time, they will always discuss who gave the most, which customer very co tien which one like lon wa, which one no money but always try to touch a lot...hahahaha

so as you can see, for those that went upstairs, their income was even more....and last time when the viet gal population was still small, no such thing as chop one week or two week passport...ONE MONTH was the given....

you'll be surprised!! popular ones earn more than 10k per month!! excluding money from cai taos ok...just solely from work...;)

jackbl

28-11-2008, 02:12 PM

Wow so now it is more afforable to chiong..... last time the money is bigger but have to pay more.... this theory very funny... :D

But its ok with me...now beneficial for me la....

and last time the least was at least 20 bucks.... with 30 the norm and many who like their gals giving 50.... unlike now...10 buck also they happily sup!!!

times have changed!! last time you try give 10 dollar and see what happen......the next time you go, you will suddenly find that how come all the gals avoid me? hahaha ...news of misers spreads fast among their camp!!!!!

casannova03

28-11-2008, 02:39 PM

Thus far i would like to thanks all the bros who have read my thread and have offered their blessings and well-wishings...

I hope that by sharing, bros can learn something from my experiences and take heart that they are not alone... Although my experiences are by no means the best and dun guarantee anything in your current relationship, i hope that you guys understand that to have a successful relationship is by no means easy...and it is never accomplished after a few trips to the pub and spending 2-3 months together..the hardest part i must say is the mental and emotional toll it takes on you, the uncertainty and the long and unforseeable future ahead...i wish you guys well! and hope that the subsequent parts of my postings can help you guys in some way...

And for those who are aversed to or have shown disgust towards my thread, pls stay away. Dun even read i will say and then come and pm me with your insults. It is totally unnecessary and highlights the negative character that you are.
My thread title says it all (unless you have language deficiency)..you like you come in and read dun like dun come disturb disturb..ok!
The world can make do with less of these people of your kind!:mad:

et911

28-11-2008, 03:09 PM

Nice thread TS, and congrats.

Hope your wife has recovered and is healthy now. Hope you guys last happily everafter. My most sincere wishes. :)

naemlo

28-11-2008, 03:23 PM

My most sincere wishes. :)

My most sincere wish is to bump onto u again :D

et911

28-11-2008, 03:51 PM

My most sincere wish is to bump onto u again :D

You wish shall be granted.. sms me, me nos. still no change, unless you bo sim deleted my nos. :D:D

birdie8819

28-11-2008, 05:08 PM

My most sincere wish is to bump onto u again

You so free hor ..... ba xa oi !!!!!!!!!! :p :D

You wish shall be granted.. sms me, me nos. still no change, unless you bo sim deleted my nos. :

I n have your number leh . :p

Thanks bro casannova03 for your wonderful real lifetime story . ;)

jackbl

28-11-2008, 05:21 PM

Tonite I have lured most of the mask kaki to HM liao, we are there for TNN session... if u interested in tnn and not BEER, u may wan to meet up there at 7+...

You so free hor ..... ba xa oi !!!!!!!!!! :p :D

I n have your number leh . :p

Thanks bro casannova03 for your wonderful real lifetime story . ;)

naemlo

28-11-2008, 05:53 PM

You wish shall be granted.. sms me, me nos. still no change, unless you bo sim deleted my nos. :D:D

U sure boh?? Long time no see u...... when u free to let me bump onto u??

You so free hor ..... ba xa oi !!!!!!!!!!

Oi!!!!! :D

Darkstorm

29-11-2008, 01:05 AM

Continued...

Getting-To-Know-You Stage

Lesson: I seriously think that two persons can only know one another that much even if you meet everyday. But living together is a different ball game..it shows out who you really are...your bad habits and your real pattern. I must admit that it is thru this 'living together period' that she get to know me more and vice-versa. It actually multiplies the 'knowing you' process by ten times....So i think that before any of you guys want to get married to any viet gal, try living together for some time first...it will allow you to know what kind of a person she really is...not the facade that she puts on whenever she meets you outside....it will be a good experience and will accelarate your relationship curve!

Thanks for sharing. Any more to the story? :)

KangTuo

29-11-2008, 06:21 AM

Tonite I have lured most of the mask kaki to HM liao, we are there for TNN session...

Heard you pulled my gal over and intro to all the bro huh?
She say you make her difficult to work leh. :rolleyes:

jackbl

29-11-2008, 12:00 PM

I didnt pull her over. I go over to where she stands and signal ALL to look at me... After that i go back to tell them this gal is KT's BX :p

Heard you pulled my gal over and intro to all the bro huh?
She say you make her difficult to work leh.

casannova03

29-11-2008, 12:10 PM

I didnt pull her over. I go over to where she stands and signal ALL to look at me... After that i go back to tell them this gal is KT's BX :p

hahahaha!! i can vouch for that!!!;)

casannova03

29-11-2008, 01:08 PM

Actually i have so many things i want to share but dunno why somehow always have bits and pieces of info...so i've decided to try to stick to a topical style of posting so that i can keep my focus..if sometimes you all find me repeating things, bear with it ok...

Continued...

The Challenges - Part 1

I think that this is the part where most bros find hard to overcome and sometimes i felt like giving up too...what kept me and my wife together for the past 5 years? I think its the love we share.

Initial Challenge
When you are with a vn gal and she is still working, your state of mind starts to change. Suddenly, from a neutral point of stand, you will want more. You want to possess her. This is one of the potential pitfalls because your mind starts to wonder thinking about what she will do with others behind your back. However, you dun have the means(financially 99% of the time) to bail her out of the situation so you just have to grit your teeth and carry on.

My Stand: when you know her, you already know what she is doing dun you? So why be affected by what she does now? Its not fair to her. Her objective here is definitely not to find a husband or a boyfriend. The problems that comes with having a boyfriend will affect her work. So if somewhere along her work you found her and she found you, all she asks for is your understanding that she does this job for a reason. So dun try and impose restrictions on her as if you really own her. At the end of the day you've gotta ask yourself...who are you to her? Therefore stop all the wild imaginations and put your trust in her if you love her...what do you stand to lose? nothing! Think of it this way...she stand to lose you if that very trust is broken.

Trust

This like some senior bros in here have said, is to be earned. For me, i think it works both ways. Dun have the mentality that she must do all the work to earn your trust. It smacks of the behaviours of male chavaunists. You have to remember that you did patronise pubs or ktvs giving tips in exchange for the gal's time with you. So consider the promises that comes out from your mouth...how does it sound to her? Well, bullshit!! or as they say 'sao nhieu nhieu!'

Its natural. Its just that our perspective is different from their perspective. You have to talk! Understand each others needs and expectations. Know where she is coming from and make sure she knows your expectations. Once that is done and set, you jolly well stick to your words. It may be that she dun want you to go hug other gals or anything once you've promise, make sure you stick to it..the vn scene is a small place...your dirty deeds will be exposed.

My stand:

For me, one of the very first thing that i told my wife(gf at that time) was, I was fucking broke living on NSF payout. i told her that i really like her a lot but if she expects me to provide for her, then i'm sorry i cannot. I told her i dun like to talk about money because i hate it!!(at that time) It was almost always the cause of many problems in the world and in my family then. But that is not to say i will not provide for her once i have the means and ability. But my point was if ours was going to be a relationship built upon $$, then let's not waste time.

She took it positively and told me : I know that you dun have much money but you must know my aim is to build a house for my parents and to give them a better life back home. You dun have to give me money because i can work and earn it myself. The money is good and fast and i am sure you will not be able to make such money if i stop work. (well, sad but true) Can you wait for me? I will work and save money till all is settled. But you really dun mind?

I told her that if i had objections to her work, i would not even be sitting down beside her to talk. I asked her how much more does she have to save up and we had a frank discussion on the amount need and the expected time frame needed. We came to an estimated timeframe and we told ourself that we will work towards the target. Well, as mentioned earlier, i was jobless at that time. So after that frank talk that we had, i had to do something. I dun think its fair that she works and pays for the rental and the expenses and i'm living off her. That sucks! So i took up teaching tuition after my studies. this is to make sure that i too, contribute to our collective agreement and aim.

That said, we also discussed about our expectations of each other.some of the topics i told her were:

1.) My expectation of her at work

I will not interfere in her work so long as she dun go upstairs and there is to be no exchange of phone numbers with customers.

2.)Finance

because we were living together, we have to keep our finances in check. This has to be done by someone. We agreed that i will keep track of income while she tracks expenses cos gals are better at remembering. (actually, controlling income means that i can check her earnings every night...if there were a sudden increase in income , well. you know where that comes from) This way, we are sure of the inflow and outflow of income.

3.)Handling customer calls

well, before i knew her , she had already given her number to many customers before her so its a problem. I asked her how will she handle it? And she said, believe me i know what to do. what she did was: she told customers that she was here to work and not to play so if they want to meet her, come to her workplace and find her. how i know? cos remember, i was staying with her so calls were often taken when i am present.

....to be continued;)

ekemono

29-11-2008, 01:55 PM

bro casanova,

I realised you hope to instil value into your story but you focused too much explaining on mindsets and belief, making it like a classroom lesson. The story is about you meeting her, so recommend you speak more of the events, where events naturally brings readers to understand what is happening. You can back up with explanation at critical point in a stretch of events to bring us up to speed; to sync with you, But if you do not include enough events, we won't know where to sync with you.

E.g: Think of it as a movie, if half the time the producer had to step in frequently to explain the actor's every action, you will also loose focus to keep up with the movie story. let the film run uninterupted, then step in to summarise it after a reasonable proportion. (dun know if it makes sense to you)

Forgive my frankness. I look forward to read and share your joy with you.
cheers :)

yjmteen

29-11-2008, 04:14 PM

casannova03

29-11-2008, 05:09 PM

bro casanova,

Forgive my frankness. I look forward to read and share your joy with you.
cheers :)

Thanks bro! I welcome any suggestion from all interested parties.

I was actually delibrating between using the topical format and my previous format .....for the latter,its quite time consuming to relate the story and then stop and give my point of view....haha

thats why i adopted the topical format but after reading your comments an taking a look at my latest post, i do realise that its a bit no head no tail and its just about my thought....

So bros and now got sis.....should i stick to my old style of stories with lessons or do you people prefer the topical style which is used in my latest post???

do let me know ok!

casannova03

29-11-2008, 05:15 PM

married my ex-client, n he is not exactly my life saviour as wat i hope. not all redlight workline girl is bad but once u found them, never betray and let them down. they r really looking for true love jst like ur.

Thanks sis for sharing your female point of view. Really appreciate!!

I think you help to reinforce that 'working ladies' are only human beings with basic human needs such as love. Its just that they have chosen a different path way....

And i certainly concur with you that once you have found one, treat them well..and you will get the rewards in the relationship.;)

ekemono

29-11-2008, 06:29 PM

married my ex-client, n he is not exactly my life saviour as wat i hope. not all redlight workline girl is bad but once u found them, never betray and let them down. they r really looking for true love jst like ur.

You shouldn't have let your hubby know your nick and password

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/2579615-post269.html

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/2582838-post270.html

naughty boy...

ekemono

29-11-2008, 06:30 PM

Thanks bro! I welcome any suggestion from all interested parties.

bro, my apology for being so critical. It is your story and should be your call.

I am sorry. :(

Darkstorm

29-11-2008, 07:02 PM

ekemono

29-11-2008, 07:11 PM

No offence Ekemono. If I may offer my viewpoint: I think it is a good idea for Casanova to continue to do what he is doing, which is explaining on mindsets and belief. It is beneficial to readers.

ya, that is why i posted later to apologize.
my bad..

Darkstorm

29-11-2008, 07:40 PM

ya, that is why i posted later to apologize.
my bad..

No worries :)

colins

29-11-2008, 08:01 PM

ya, that is why i posted later to apologize.
my bad..

dun worry bro eke, but I also think bro casannova should continue this way. A story has its value as a story, but bro cas is illustrating the experience he gained, very realistically written. It is also very to the point of being
"happily married to ex WL", this shows the path he took. In my opinion, this has more value. :)

longwinter

29-11-2008, 08:10 PM

Darkstorm

29-11-2008, 08:47 PM

l have been following TS stories from page 1, and is really good :D Interesting!

but TS, if possible, u may want to share share the tricks and sleeves they are up to during ur stay with them? :o that will be an eye opener. :o

I suggest that Casanova leave these for another thread as the main purpose here is for him to share his successful relationship and love story with his wife.

DO_YOU_BJ

29-11-2008, 09:56 PM

l have been following TS stories from page 1, and is really good :D Interesting!

but TS, if possible, u may want to share share the tricks and sleeves they are up to during ur stay with them? :o that will be an eye opener. :o

Trade secret leh.....how to share hehehehe
Tio bo bro Cas hehehehe

longwinter

29-11-2008, 10:06 PM

Trade secret leh.....how to share hehehehe
Tio bo bro Cas hehehehe

haha, here sbf leh, l thought we can discuss everything under the sun and let all bros benefit from it :D

DO_YOU_BJ

29-11-2008, 10:11 PM

haha, here sbf leh, l thought we can discuss everything under the sun and let all bros benefit from it :D

HAHAH yes bro, share we must but to take out rice bowl to share rice a bit hardcore rite.
How to tun jia after that hehehehe

longwinter

29-11-2008, 10:26 PM

HAHAH yes bro, share we must but to take out rice bowl to share rice a bit hardcore rite.
How to tun jia after that hehehehe

heez, blame on my kaypohness la. ;)

casannova03

29-11-2008, 10:52 PM

bro, my apology for being so critical. It is your story and should be your call.

I am sorry. :(

No need to sorry la....a good writer needs positive critics in order to improve.....haha!! appreciate it really...;)

longwinter

29-11-2008, 10:55 PM

No need to sorry la....a good writer needs positive critics in order to improve.....haha!! appreciate it really...;)

Go Go Go bro! Looking forward to more of ur postings. :D

casannova03

29-11-2008, 10:56 PM

Trade secret leh.....how to share hehehehe
Tio bo bro Cas hehehehe

Haha...bo la...no secrets la...you have to put in some hard work though.....read thru the different threads and you can find all their tricks liao....nothing new really....i think almost all the tricks revealed by clever bros in the forum liao...

haha..so the tough part is to decipher when are they KC-ing you and when are they real.....

That's why its such a dangerous path.......and therefore i got chance to share my humble point of view in this thread ma....;)

colins

30-11-2008, 12:28 AM

haha..so the tough part is to decipher when are they KC-ing you and when are they real.....

That's why its such a dangerous path.......and therefore i got chance to share my humble point of view in this thread ma....;)

Thats why all details are important, esp the whole string of difficulties you faced. Personally, starting this controversial topic is already quite challenging, so I do respect your effort. So far so good. ;)

s(Aint

30-11-2008, 02:59 AM

wah interesting.. cant wait for next part:rolleyes:

casannova03

30-11-2008, 01:52 PM

Continued from....

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/matters-heart/100078-happily-married-ex-wl-vn-5.html

I just realised that my last part was a bit off from the above page...just treat the last part as special edition with additional info ok...haha... will continue the story from the above link..

Here goes....

Ok, so we are living together. But dun you guys think that all was lovely dovey all the ways cos we do have our quarrels and disagreements. Good stuffs first..

She will dutifully wake up early in the morning everyday(although she works till late the night before) and make sure that she prepares breakfast for me. It could be hot porridge or just simple bread with a fried egg. But i really appreciate it because she knows my habit of not taking breakfast and she says its not goood so she ownself automatic prepare and make sure i have it before i left for school. Why i touched? cos normally we sleep around 2-3 am the night before and i have to wake up around 6 and leave for school at 645 latest so imagine if she cooks porridge , she have to wake up at 5plus in the morning....Well, for those guys that have gf from this realm, you will know that most of them sleep till early afternoon at least..... so its an effort on her part which i appreciate..and also note that she has to go to school in the early afternoon unlike her peers..so this means she could not clock much sleep after i left .....

Lesson: I dunno but for me, If the your gal really love you, i guess she will tke the extra effort and the step to make sure she takes care of you. I think they cannot be bothered to do such things if they just want to KC you cos there're easier ways i suppose....so look out for the things that she does for you...might be simple stuffs but its the thought that matters and in this case, it did matter a lot to me. On a level playing ground, i think SG gals lose out on this...big time!!!

So at that moment in time, we actually had a daily routine. Morning wake up, eat breakfast, i go to school.

She will go to school herself somewhere in town. When my school finishes, i will pick her up frm school and back home.

Her friends would have prepared dinner so we will all dine together and they will make up while i shower.

Then become ahmad send them to work. after which i will return home to study..and do my work...

When reach time, ahmad 'chu chia' again go pick up the whole gang back home.

So most almost 6months, we sort of work according to this routine....

jackbl

30-11-2008, 02:23 PM

Really envy of you on this... even myself also done such things for my loved one

She will dutifully wake up early in the morning everyday(although she works till late the night before) and make sure that she prepares breakfast for me. It could be hot porridge or just simple bread with a fried egg.

Wow during school days also have a car to drive, u are filthy RICH man... even now i still dun have a motor or car yet :(

Then become ahmad send them to work. after which i will return home to study..and do my work...

When reach time, ahmad 'chu chia' again go pick up the whole gang back home.

So most almost 6months, we sort of work according to this routine....

casannova03

30-11-2008, 03:05 PM

Wow during school days also have a car to drive, u are filthy RICH man... even now i still dun have a motor or car yet :(

No la....of course that time not i pay la.....its my lao bei pay la but i pay fuel lor:p...hahaha...yeah, i must admit i was quite lucky on this point...but at the end of the day its my lao bei's money and not mine...so i still have to slog it out back then for my own living expenses...

darkangel

01-12-2008, 02:16 AM

casannova03

01-12-2008, 11:37 AM

Bro casa, very true life story and very touching, do continue to share and all bros will appreciate the experiences and thoughts that they may come across in future.

Hope to see more details and also why not put up some covered face photos like facebook, e.g. married photos, sure attract many attention one, hehe :)

Up you my humble points, sincerely darkangel.

Thanks bro...i will definitely keep sharing and helping...

Eh, as to sharing photos...hmmm...maybe not la...there's too much risk in doing so..(too many eat-full-nothing-to-do people in here who will grab at the first chance to sabotage).
i'm personally ok about it but it will be unfair to my wife because if someone were to recognise the wedding settings and gowns then I'll be very selfish for dragging her into this....

Hope you understand!;)

casannova03

02-12-2008, 01:49 PM

Now i understand why some bros with stories and/or experiences to share often feel that its a waste of time - because there will be jokers out here who are ever ready to shoot you down with their senseless insults and destructive comments..:rolleyes:

In the very beginning, sharing of specific information and experiences is really meant for people who really cares and/or take an interest in the topic started by the thread starter. Therefore these jokers have no business to be commenting on things that they despise...

At the end of the day, a threadstarter has no gains whatsoever (maybe points...but what for? and for what?) except to help other bros understand certain issues better, not because they are the saint , but only because they have had the experience of being through certain situations before. What's there to gain by detailing your life stories on a forum? Absolutely nothing...

No doubt there are wannabes out that that posed as someone very experienced with their pathetic hope of scoring points in here. However one must note that there is a genuine spirit of sharing and helping in here, with many of such help taken off forum. This in fact should be the spirit of a community such as SBF. By sharing and helping... and criticising constructively....i've read somewhere that even BOSS himself have attended such TCSS's gatherings albeit keeping his identity concealed. No matter what, I'm sure many bros have benefitted from the forum at a certain point in their surfing - whether directly or indirectly - with great friendships forged through here.

To the many bros who have supported one another thru times good and bad, i'll say: You Guys Rock!! keep it up!!

To the others who have made little serious contributions except to reply threads with lame one liners such as "i agree", "me too", posting a few pics and vids to score points and still have the cheek to insult others and try to discredit other worthy contributions, i'll say : your online actions are the perfect reflection of your personal life!
Get a life!! Your online persona will get you nowhere except reminding others that you are the REAL loser in your own life. You should be ashamed of yourself...instead of the ego-boosting adrenalin rush you felt after every insult that you post.

With no viable routes to vent your pent-up disagreements and questionable views and opinions within society and cliques, you have chosen to do so behind the veil of secrecy on the internet. This only further highlight your disengagement from the mainstream society. It's such a shame! You know who you are!!

You may continue to do so as you wished because at the end of the day, your insults amounts to nothing to the true contributors of this very forum who more often than not are successful people in their own realms....not because they are lucky in their life with gals or that they are rich by birth....simply because they have the courage to identify with themselves and are able to correct their own behaviours towards the successful path they so craved.

This confidence in turns translates into their confident postings in the forum which you chose to interprete as being arrogant and in your words- yaya. Simply because you craved to be one of them but failed miserably. This can be interpreted as the loser in you who chose to give up at the first obstacle and continue to complain and whine till the end of days....when that becomes a habit , slowly but surely it becomes an obsession and you turn abusive!

No one in life succeed the first time they try something new! even if they do, it's got nothing to with anyone but themselves. Because they have put in the equivalent amount of effort and time in researching and practicing their selected endeavour. This is the key to success in most everything you do.

While being no saint myself, I'm able to identify with myself for the efforts and resulting returns. ..I dun expect to get 200 acres of rice harvest when I've only planted in 20 sq metres of land!.....

I am who I am because I did what I did!!

Understand little boy?? yes...you...the one who keeps going around zapping people and giving insulting comments and asking others to grow up.....
.....stop doing that for you yourself have stopped growing since the day you chose to vent your personal frustrations at others....

You may be 30, 40, 50 or even 60 for all i care, but you definitely have a mentality similar to that of a teenager during puberty - struggling to cope with the increased hormonal changes inside your own body.

Why not spend the time insulting yourself? you might get enlightened during one of these sessions and become a better person!;)

:rolleyes:

casannova03

02-12-2008, 02:54 PM

...Continued

Living together is not all about the good times for this is the experience that will show you each others habits good and bad. Which in turn leads to disagreements and quarrels.....for me, it stopped at that for there are known cases where such disagreements led to fights..Which i do not endorse personally....I have actually posted on some earlier and general challenges in one of my earlier posting..that was with regards to the earlier part of the relationship...now i'm going to share the middle part....

Challenges 1- Playing 2nd fiddle

With the benefit of hindsight, i am now able to realise that one of the biggest challenge, besides language barrier, is the cultural difference between us Singaporeans and Vietnamese...

Perhaps one of the most glaring one is the fact that her parents and siblings and even extended family members will always be regarded with higher esteem than you,the husband or boyfriend...I might sound a bit contradictory here because i did mention that she gave me money meant for her family home-building. But my point is, no matter how much they love you, dun expect your words to be taken seriously by them....initially

There was once during my stay together, two of my wife's cousin came to Singapore to work. They were her bigger cousins , meaning more senior and what they say carry weight. I hate the younger one to the core and have contemplated beating her up!! (not anymore...was young and impulsive then) When they were around and about, they threw their authority about and demanded things to be done their way. Whenever they did not get things done, they will threatened, insult and beat till it is done their way. To highlight one particular case: they will be in charge of all the marketing(as in going to the market) and then share the costs amongst the rest staying in the house. It came to my awareness that they knnbccb bought bird's nest and shark fin for their personal consumption but calculated it to be shared among everyone!!!:eek:My wife being the younger cousin always gave in to them. Even her friends that were staying kept quiet and tolerated it for they did not want to create trouble for my wife.

Well, as you can expect a hot-blooded male like me dun like being bossed around....unreasonably!!! I confronted my wife first and asked her about that. Well, her reply completely took me off guard.
"aiya let them do what they want la...we cannot do anything about it"

Simi is cannot do anything about it?? I am going to chase them out of the house!! (that time house was rented under yours truly's name) She protested and we got into a quarrel with my persistence that something must be done.

"if you do that, then i'm gonna leave you!!":eek:

What the fuck?? To me at that time, that was a shock!! i mean i was trying to correct some wrong which was so obvious and was threatened with her departure from me...

Lesson: This is something that has got to do with their strict family upbringing. Influenced strongly by Confucius, they regard the family as the strongest most important element of life. This can be seen by the fact that they still stick strictly to the way they address different family members. There is a different so called 'place' in the family for everyone and the due respect is to be given regardless of whether you like the person or not.

Vietnamese children are taught to accord such respect from the time they are a toddler. They will have to pay respect to the seniors in the family by going up to that senior, arms folded across their chest, slightly bowing, and greet them. Of course when they grow older, such formality are dispense with but the whole idea of respect remains for a senior's words hold weight.

My View:
If you do not understand that as a bf or husband to be, you are not ranked very high, you might start to wonder why her who and who is always more important than me. This mentality might create a drift in the relationship that is destructive. Also, sometimes when your concerns with regards to the actions of her family members are not voiced out tactfully and carefully, you might get yourself into unnecessary quarrels.

The whole idea is here is to let you guys know that dun try to impose your own ideas on her too soon too fast. Its not that they disagree with your opinions. For example, they might agree with you that her father is spending too much money but they are just not in the position to challenge ....yet. You will have to 'educate' her with the correct measures. This takes considerable time and effort. You dun want to be regarded as someone who is always against her family....even though you are right....it might be counter-productive for your relationship with her due to the constant quarrels with regards to her family. She might just end up thinking that she'll be better off without you because she's already having a hrad time trying to meet expectations back home and there you are, instead of helping her cope, you'll giving her more trouble by trying to ask her to stage a rebellion/coup!!

Try to understand why they are thinking in certain ways in some situations. Could it be due to the above-mentioned reason? If yes, you have to approach it with tact and patience. Having a humorous nature helps...

suggestions in the next installment......;)

Vincent4499

02-12-2008, 03:51 PM

Hi Bros, thank for sharing your experience.

Thru thick and thin, you have to remember the bad times together and what
you are today. That is more important.

Wish you the best and happily together.

Cheers

Darkstorm

02-12-2008, 03:58 PM

...Continued

My View:

Try to understand why they are thinking in certain ways in some situations. Could it be due to the above-mentioned reason? If yes, you have to approach it with tact and patience. Having a humorous nature helps...

suggestions in the next installment......;)

Thanks for sharing! :)

casannova03

03-12-2008, 12:45 PM

03-12-2008 08:32 AM

If you are so smart, you wouldn't marry a foreign whore & bring a liability to Sg society. Talk big theory only !! I look down on you

Thanks this bro for your comment!

anyway,I dun need you to see me up in order to have a successful and great family life!!:p

I see you're no where near smart by thinking only ah pek's with little education marry Ex-WL....you just came out from some caves in Timbaktu???

You're not so great yourself by coming into this forum to look down on ppl who are discussing about the sex industry ,are you??:rolleyes:

Also i see you've got something against foreign Wl? what about local Wl? are'nt they a liability as well by collecting money for sex and not declaring and thus not contributing to the local GDP??

At least those foreign ex-Wl who settle down and find decent work and pay taxes contribute to the country!!! They pay the Foreign bangledesh rubbish man that are cleaning up after your backside every morning!! Got it ??

And not leaving your name after zapping??? well, you qualify to read my signature!!!

have a nice day!! Mr Xenophobia!!;)

P.S : i thought i'll just do you a little favour by checking out the word Xenophobia in case, just in case.....you're not that smart!!:p

Main Entry: xe·no·pho·bia
Pronunciation: \ˌze-nə-ˈfō-bē-ə, ˌzē-\
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin
Date: 1903
: fear and hatred of strangers or foreigners or of anything that is strange or foreign

Torres_Mok

03-12-2008, 09:08 PM

[B][I]03-12-2008 08:32 AM

[/COLOR]

Toi hanh han duoc gap a.:)

besafe

03-12-2008, 09:47 PM

Quote: Now i understand why some bros with stories and/or experiences to share often feel that its a waste of time - because there will be jokers out here who are ever ready to shoot you down with their senseless insults and destructive comments..

Brother.
I fully agree with what you say.
Take care and all the best in everything you do.
Best regards:)

darkangel

04-12-2008, 12:43 AM

friendster

04-12-2008, 01:48 AM

Brother, I like to hear more of the real life experience and may u and your wife the best, quite touching as true love btw 2 people from 2 different cultures met.

Sometimes, perhaps its called "DESTINY" or "YUAN FEN"

:)
Hope to up u but no power

casannova03

04-12-2008, 11:20 AM

Thanks for all the interests and comments!

Bro Darkangel, for your request, i will include a small section on that somewhere ok..;)

casannova03

04-12-2008, 11:24 AM

Toi hanh han duoc gap a.:)

Troi oi, ko noi nhu vay. Anh cho em qua lúng túng nhe!!

Haha..:D

Khi nao em co ranh em keu anh di uong bia!;)

saint82

04-12-2008, 02:02 PM

Hi TS

Great story..

i am going through what u are going through 5 years ago now..

All the feelings u have narrated is simply like taking words straight out of my mouth and heart..

she told me she dont like to see me at her work place so i actually waited for her at the roadside cafe till she finish work 4 or 5 nights a weeks (one sms on arrival and she will come look for me 2, 3 hours later with no communication in between)..

knn, my girl places me really low on the rank. family first, then friends last then me.. always try ways and means to make me send them home first before we go out together, if i refused, then she will pay their cab fare out of her own pocket.. then a few of her friends keep taking advantage of her by borrowing money from her..

really si bei taxing on normal life and work.. everyday not enough sleep and mother is not very happy that i always find excuses to go out at 12+ or simply reach home at 4+ mid night..

now she went back, life goes back to normal for the moment until she is back again..

thanks again for the great story..

casannova03

04-12-2008, 06:56 PM

...Continued

Dealing with Challenges 1

I think the key to overcoming the 1st challenge is patience and tactfulness.

VN gals are well-known for the "mouth hard heart soft" character!
Disclaimer: my view is 90% of them are like that!

So i suggest:

1st, agree with them on their views. Then offer them another alternative and slowly inculcate the pros into them. It doesn't work all the time but for me it works most of the time. what i'll do is say:

"that is a great idea! and a good suggestion but i think there is this little problem..."then elaborate the problem you forsee....

then....

"Why not we do it this way?" elaborate your point of view

Then do a comparison of the pros and cons of both ideas and say:"well the final decison lies with you, cos i've already told you why this works and why that works!"

one thing, for my wife at least ,is she likes to make decisions so normally i will present the two ideas and let her make the decision la....i dunno about others but i guess a lot of times they like to talk loud loud but actually inside them they are quite lost.....so by inculcating your values and ideas in your explaination into them and asking them to make the decision, normally they will choose your idea....and they still can yaya a bit ....cos you dun make the decision for them and i think they quite like the idea that they are in control....

haha...sounds a bit gu-niang but it works for me most of the time for i see it not as weak or anything but just that on the surface you dun have any say but behind everything, actually you're pulling the strings...:D

This method can be used in a wide variety of situations....be it situations involving her family/friends, money, interests, ideas etc.

The whole idea is not to counter their "hard" way of handling issues with your insistence and one-sided persistence. It is to use the "soft" method on them. By talking to them nicely and making them "picture" possible outcomes....

You'll get nowhere by insisting and quarelling as a result....it might even move you back a few steps in the relationship.

Try to understand their concerns and their worry with regards to a certain issue before coming up with your own counter measure and your own opinion. I believe that 95% of them are very reasonable people....

Having a sense of humour like i mentioned earlier is even more conducive to handling tricky situations....ermmm this one hard to relate and to teach la...haha:D

Just do something that they will always laugh at when you do it. For me is looking straight in my wife's eyes and then give stupid smile...this normalyy gets her laughing no matter what the situation is....so you've gotta find out your own stunts! It'll help to defuse many potential fiery situations...;)

....next up: Challenges 2

Stay tuned.....;)

casannova03

04-12-2008, 07:17 PM

You probably need to clarify on your sex life also.

You mentioned that your wife cannot go upstairs with customers.

What about having sex with you?

How did you all cope without sex to begin with? How to have a lasting relationship without sex?

Ok audience request! so bo bian share a bit... i was intending to leave out this whole part...

Sex Life

For those of you who have followed my story, you would have known that my wife had a problem back then and it actually was a blessing in disguise for me because she could not "go upstairs" with customers.

This also means that i was affected!:(

Anyway, it was not STDs or anything for the matter. To put it in layman's language, its a growth in the vagina that could potentially turn cancerous. All women have these viruses inside their vagina but most of the time, they will disappear on their own and die off. But for my wife, the virus actually found a place on the inner lining and start to grow. This will turn cancerous after some time if not dealt with. Which is why she went for a minor ops to remove the growth and had to abstain from sex for the next 3 months or until doctors clear her. Now you know why all women after puberty are advised to have yearly pap smears?? yes! its to check for the existence of these viruses and any such growth. Women problems too complex la....but you have to give it to gynaes la....haha you might think its so song everyday can see pussies and check breasts but to me i think it sucks man!! imagine seeing all these women problems and having to treat them....:eek:

Anyway, i digress....

So yes, i did not have sex with my wife during this period of time. Only the occasional kisses and hugs but nothing sexual....not even HJ or anything. If you ask me, i also dunno how i pass the 3 months sia....haha...cos remember guys, at that time i had a daily routine so finding FL was out of question cos i dun have the time..

Of course when all girls go work and i at home then occasionally got "zhi mo" and "hu" la....haha if not how to release?? Of course the materials used would be from SAMMYBOY FORUM la!!! :D

On hindsight, i also dunno how i did it. But i guess sometimes love for a person can do wonders. Maybe my concern for her condition actually overwhelms my sexual desires and thus it was no big issue to me then. I dunno if bros in here have the same type of feeling with their gals. Sometimes its not about sex but about the feeling you get when you hug and when you kiss kiss.....hard to explain but for those who have married and settle down you should know what i am talking about...

Actually at one point in time, my wife did ask me: " if i cannot make love with you, will you still love me? Can you wait for me?

haha...caught me by surprise because i really did not think it was an issue back then! Som-pa!! i just told her not to think too much and concentrate on recovering...Once recovered then say....

I feel that a relationship without sex and too much money involved is actually quite a good foundation with which to test your gal's intentions and vice-versa. Taking sex out of a relationship actually takes out a lot of ambiguity in the relationship...

Think about this......

for gal: is he with me for sex only? will he go once a nicer pussy comes along?

for guys: is she with me because i can pay for sex as and when she requests? so she always got hotline for quick money? Is she giving it to me free now so that later can one time claim back with "my family needs money" tricks?

So you see, a sexless relationship is actually quite good right?? Takes away a lot of worries on both sides due to the manner in which we know her....at rubba rubba places...
haha of course at tat time i did not think like that la...its only now that things have passsed that i have the benefit of hindsight to ponder over such an issue....

Well, thats about the initial period of my "sexless in the city".....hope i've addressed your curiosity bro darkangel!;)

jackbl

04-12-2008, 09:37 PM

Really pity u :( If the gal really care about u, she will tell u not to come out so late and then ask u go home earlier, will NOT ask u to be "midnight owl"....

really si bei taxing on normal life and work.. everyday not enough sleep and mother is not very happy that i always find excuses to go out at 12+ or simply reach home at 4+ mid night..

now she went back, life goes back to normal for the moment until she is back again..

thanks again for the great story..

JediSkull

04-12-2008, 10:45 PM

Ok audience request! so bo bian share a bit... i was intending to leave out this whole part........hope i've addressed your curiosity bro darkangel!;)

bro casannova, congrats to ur happy marriage. I would like to remind bros that marrying a WL is not gonna be easy! bro casannova, i did not read thru the thread but would like to know if your family members or friends know that your wife is an ex wl??? you got to be really magnanimous if u can accept your wife's history.... ur path is not one that's recommended to any bro here....... only the brave and strong then can survive...... ;)

casannova03

05-12-2008, 03:33 AM

bro casannova, i did not read thru the thread but would like to know if your family members or friends know that your wife is an ex wl???

Well, to be frank, i did not tell any of my family members but my mom was suspicious all along...why i know? it will be covered in my later postings....

Now all is good and well and i am staying with my parents and they have accepted her as one family....Most important, the relationship between my mom and my wife is very good.;)

As for friends, only my close group of friends know about it and they know about her work but all accepted my decision and never once bring it up....at least in front of me la......and all from this close group were instrumental in making my wedding dinner a success...so i must say hey are the best buddies!!:D

For others, i cook up a story of meeting her in VN...blar blar blar...not to save my own face but to protect my dear wife. Since she has already left the trade, i see no point in letting hi-bye and occasional friends know about it.....

well,"things they dun know won't hurt them anyway";)

Wahlaueh

05-12-2008, 06:47 AM

Camping here for more.:)

saint82

05-12-2008, 09:12 AM

Really pity u :( If the gal really care about u, she will tell u not to come out so late and then ask u go home earlier, will NOT ask u to be "midnight owl"....

no lah.. its me myself who choose to go.. she also ask me not to go so many times a week and sleep earlier.. but i always tell her that i am not tired and i seldom use the word tired in front of her coz she will ban me from going to look for her during weekdays..

casannova03

06-12-2008, 12:26 PM

Ok Guys, as posted earlier somewhere, i will be helping my Wife's sister find a suitable boyfriend..... one who is caring, stable in his endeavour and is seriously looking to settle down..... with a VN gal.

You may have been chionging for the past few years and feel like settling down but feel that most gals out there are out to make money out of you and you dun trust them. Now you have chance to know my wife's sister and settle down eventually.

Might not be the perfect place to find her a boyfriend and husband but I guessed this is the place where acceptance of VN gals is the highest.

Its not about intro,talk a bit and then get married. She must feel comfortable with the guy and of course vice-versa. I do dote on my wife's sister and treats her like my own sister. So I will make sure she does not fall ito the wrong hands. Of course, ultimately, its her happiness and her decision but i will help to make sure that i screen potential suitors.

Interested? PM me for more details....;)

WARNING: Guys who try to be funny? I will make sure everyone knows who you are!:cool:

jackbl

06-12-2008, 12:31 PM

Aiyah, the news go a bit too late, if not, i might wan to try out also :(

I think to pass you will be more diff than the sister, hehe.. :D

I do dote on my wife's sister and treats her like my own sister. So I will make sure she does not fall ito the wrong hands. Of course, ultimately, its her happiness and her decision but i will help to make sure that i screen potential suitors.

casannova03

06-12-2008, 12:43 PM

Aiyah, the news go a bit too late, if not, i might wan to try out also :(

I think to pass you will be more diff than the sister, hehe.. :D

Haha...no worries...stiil got chance la...work on your own relationship first lor...one day my sister not married you still got chance ma!!:D

Of course la...I also got go chiong one ok...haha ...so i will know a joker who trys to be funny when i see one...haha...Anyway, the fact that i am postingin here actually shows that i am ok with guys chionging la cos i mtself do sometimes...but the idea is the guy must be like me....go chiong but at the back of the head always remember that your wife is waiting for you at home..So go hug hug and TNN can accept but not always go "lam tinh!!!":eek:

jackbl

06-12-2008, 01:38 PM

Go "lam tinh" meaning the guy is rich and can take care of the financial of the family, hehe :D:p

...but the idea is the guy must be like me....go chiong but at the back of the head always remember that your wife is waiting for you at home..So go hug hug and TNN can accept but not always go "lam tinh!!!":eek:

casannova03

06-12-2008, 01:53 PM

Not necessarily wor!!! haha i think you know what my real meaning is la.....haha...dun tease ma la!!:p

qwerty78

09-12-2008, 01:29 AM

casannova03

09-12-2008, 11:05 AM

you might want to list out you sister in law requirements first?

no old man... min income etc...http://www.sammyboyforum.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

That's a good idea...but i'll rather not do it in here...
I've created a blog for my SIL, so those interested can go see for yourself.....here it is:

~ The Bright & Beautiful Moon...from Vietnam ~ (http://www.moon-of-vn.blogspot.com)

;)

k750

09-12-2008, 11:22 AM

kudos for and thumbs up
nice description as well

bro cassonva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Otomodachi

09-12-2008, 11:28 AM

bro casanova, thumbs up for your thread. Really good reading. :D

khaos

09-12-2008, 07:59 PM

An extremely interesting thread and real life story.
Not forgetting inspiring at the same time.

Tony Stark

10-12-2008, 03:01 AM

I've created a blog for my SIL, so those interested can go see for yourself.....here it is:

~ The Bright & Beautiful Moon...from Vietnam ~ (http://www.moon-of-vn.blogspot.com)

I appauld your effort for genuinely helping your SIL to get a boyfriend. She's a very lovely lady.

Yes I agree those match making agencies in Singapore are full of shit. They just want to make a quick buck that's all.

Keep up the good work. Maybe I can give it a go. I travel to HCMC monthly. ;)

casannova03

10-12-2008, 10:15 AM

thanks for all the compliments!

Tony stark! you may want to pm me and tell me more about yourself...hope to hear from you soon

jackbl

10-12-2008, 01:04 PM

The gal i met at TSN airport is your SIL? Hmm... Looks diff from the photo u posted... hihi... she v shy when she see me, didnt talk to me much :( How i can pratise my viet?

thanks for all the compliments!

Tony stark! you may want to pm me and tell me more about yourself...hope to hear from you soon

casannova03

10-12-2008, 01:17 PM

yes...that's her..normal la...she very shy one....i think now she not as fair as in photo liao and maybe she din make-up so look a bit different..hahaha..

casannova03

12-12-2008, 12:21 PM

Hi guys,

sorry for the lack of updates these few days. Gotta go reservist in the day and work at night...so dun have much time!

Anyway, my purpose is actually to address an issue that i felt i need to to readers of my thread and for VN gals lovers.

Over the past week, i have received a few pm from quite a bit of bros telling me that they have met a vn gal at pub and that they like the gal etc.

My Advice

Well, you may have read my thread and my account on my relationship with my wife. I would like to re-iteriate that the relationship with my wife till today is roughly 5 years. We got married after a bit more than a year together. So i hope you guys do take note that i did not get married to my wife after knowing her for 1-3 mths after knowing her at the pub.

The point is, you are in the honeymoon period (1-3 mths) after you first know her. So do exercise caution in giving any requests from her. By always thredaing with caution, you will not fall prey to scheming gals.

If you are really keen on taking the relationship to the next level, then find out more first. there are so many things and so many issue with her and her character that you dun know and vice-versa. So do note that a relationship is based on infatuation is almost always gonna mean trouble when your honeymoon period runs out.

I am not against bros having a relationship with vn gals like me. But i am concerned because a few of you guys have asked about marriage and the procedures when you've really, barely know her. I am all for developing the relationship but i also hope you guys do not get hurt or cheated for there ARE scheming gals out there.

So guys, exercise caution and do drop me a pm when you need help. I will try my best with my limited experience and see if i can offer help,if any.

Take care!;)

naemlo

12-12-2008, 12:26 PM

So fast talk abt marriage??? :eek: 八字还没一瞥。

naemlo

12-12-2008, 12:28 PM

.i think now she not as fair as in photo liao and maybe she din make-up so look a bit different..hahaha..

Hmmmm scary.... :D:D:D

So she coming to SG soon?? :D

etct88

12-12-2008, 04:13 PM

Hi guys,

sorry for the lack of updates these few days. Gotta go reservist in the day and work at night...so dun have much time!.....................

.................So guys, exercise caution and do drop me a pm when you need help. I will try my best with my limited experience and see if i can offer help,if any.

Take care!;)

Great posts.... glad you have a life, unlike some losers....... you know what I mean. choke mai mun.......:)

casannova03

12-12-2008, 06:25 PM

Hmmmm scary....

So she coming to SG soon?? :D

Not scary la...veri innocent and shy little gal ok:p

Eh married man:p!! why u kaypoh asking when ppl come singapore???:D

naemlo

13-12-2008, 11:58 AM

Not scary la...veri innocent and shy little gal ok:p

Eh married man:p!! why u kaypoh asking when ppl come singapore???:D

Wah lau... cannot ask meh??? Or is she in HCMC now? :D

casannova03

13-12-2008, 12:00 PM

Wah lau... cannot ask meh??? Or is she in HCMC now? :D

Can why cannot..hahhaa..:D

Dun be lazy...want to know more read the blog!!!:p

hahahaha!!!:p

besafe

13-12-2008, 12:30 PM

casannova03

13-12-2008, 01:00 PM

Wow, its been quite some time since i continue from my sharing....so ok now back to the main dish!

...Continued

Challenges 2 - Coping with YOUR family

In the first part, i was talking mainly about understanding HER mentality and your position in her hierarchy of status. I hope you see where you stand and thus understand how much your words mean vis-a-vis her family and friends....and how you can slowly but surely gain a rung or two up the ladder...

Now I am gonna talk about objections from the family - our family.

Let's face it! You know this is gonna be a huge obstacle as well. Marrying someone from a foreign country is gonna be a big talking point in the family - thanks but no thanks to the incessant negative publicity portrayed by our two daily chinese gossip newspaper!!

If you're marrying a foreigner, there's only two possibility:

1.) "eh you go buy your wife ah? how much is it?":(

2.) "ermm, where she work...as what??":o

Yes! sad but thru, that's about as big the mindset we have over here in Singapore with regards to Foreign wives. It doesn't matter that your wife might be a decent lady working as a professional, what's more as a WL.

Well, I dun really have any advice for this.... and i dun want to be seen assomeone trying to teach you how to lie to your family...so i'll just share what i did..i think if the conviction in you is strong enough, you'll find your own ways to get around it...

My Experience....
If you have been actively following my thread, you would have known that i was not on good terms with my mother even before i know my wife. So when one day i decided to bring home my wife for a family dinner and a 'soft' meet the parents sesson, things got unpleasant..

At first everything was ok as I(under my dad's instruction) refrained from going head-to-head with my mom. After the dinner, my mom pulled me aside and started to field me with her questions:

"where you know her? She in Singapore for what?"

I replied:" I knew her in Vietnam when i went with school trip during JC days (The part about the trip is true but not the part on knowing her there)."

"So when she came to Singapore to study (true), she called me up and we met up and got together(false)"

My mom gave the unconvinced look :" really so simple?"

"you sure she not those girls working?" What's she studying here? at where?"

I replied:" you want to believe you believe, dun want to believe then next time dun ask me again."

"Anyway she's studying English language at a private school in Orchard and is here on student's pass(true) and she's staying with her cousin who is married to a Singaporean. (False)"

After some thoughts, she started telling me :" you dun try and lie to me ok you think i dun know what's she's here for right....blar blar blar!!!"" everyday read newspapr can see them reporting on these gals...blar blar blar!"

Then i started getting angry:" ok fine! If you want to believe those stupid newspaper report then go ahead ok i am not going to bother explaining to ignorant ppl like you."

hot+hot = boiling point!!

Mom:

"You dun try to talk to me like that, i tell you! I raised you from young so i know what you are thinking and when you are lying!"

"you dunno these gals, they are here to cheat you of your money and then get PR and divorce you, you still young so what do you know?"

Me:

"Ya right, since when you bothered about me! everyday all you care is about your work. Even domestic stuffs are handled by dad you call yourself caring? I dun think so...."

"Anyway, if she want to then let her cheat lor, i dun have any money anyway."

With that i left after my wife have said her thanks and goodbye....

After i ORD-ed, i went home to put my duffer bag and to pack some clothes cos i was going to stay outside. So when i got home, my mom was waiting for me in my room. I was shocked when i opened my door...when you expected your room to be empty suddenly you see someone you will be shocked!!

Then she carried on talking about my wife la balr blar blar...but i said that i was not going to stay at home and see her angry face everyday....So she say no matter what she's not allowing me to move out to stay...I simply bo-chap and carry on packing...she then left the room....

I heard my dad shouting:

" you siao ah? why have to do it like that? you got nothing better to do is it?

Then i heard my elder bro's room door opened and he too joined in:

"Aiya! dun like that la mom! he want to do what let him be la, he is old enough to know wht's good for him. Anyway when he realised his mistakes he will come back and apologise one...dun need like that!"

Because i was in my room packing, i dunno what my mom did but when i came out, i got the second shock of my life.....

The Scene
My mom was holding a CHOPPER:eek:! and my dad and my elder were trying to grab it from her...when dad saw me, he asked to to go first ....needless to say, i was out of my house in double quick time!!!

.....to be continued;)

casannova03

13-12-2008, 01:32 PM

Dear Brother,

Curious to know how you will feel if you found out that she is meeting someone behind your back. Dun need to reply if you feel that this is getting too personal.

The reason I asked is that I am still seeing a PRC lady, who is married to a SG man, on a monthly basis. I wanted to stop, but many times she is the one who calls me. If I am the husband, definitely I will be mad. But I suspect he knows that she is seeing someone behind her back but not doing anything about it.

Sigh ! I am resolved not to see her again and may plan to change my HP no.

No...no problem....i think this is a good question and is relevant in my thread. So its not personal or anything. I will answer that..

Many bros will be insecure knowing what their wife worked as before they marry...so this is something that will be on their mind.

My Views
I think the whole issue here is trust!

You dun go getting yourself into a marriage with someone whom you dun trust! It doesn't matter what she worked as previously! No doubt as an ex WL, you will be more worried but let me put it this way. Even if your wife is not an ex-Wl, she too, can be cheating behind your back. So the main thing is before you marry someone, how much do you trust her or vice-versa. You need to get this sorted out befre your marriage...not during your married life...there are many other things to enjoy and learn during your married life.

Trust is the key in any successful marriage. Unless of course the both of you stick to each other 24hrs of the day, which is not practical and logical. SO...if you think that you will spend your whole day worrying if your wife is cheating behind you, why marry her? why get yourself into such a marriage? I dun see any advantages in doing so...

I am not in the position to comment about local gals cos i'm not married to one. But i do know that Vietnamese gals are firecely loyal once they have decided to be with you....and of course they expect the same from you.

I speak from my own experience and from my wife's friends' experience. My wife's friend was the ultimate nightmare anyone man can meet, she can have up to 5 man at any one time and was living like a queen with income from each of these guys. But recently, she's settled down and i know from my wife, she's quit her playing ways and is gonna be a mother soon. So the point is most vietnamese gals are loyal once they have set their mind on it. I would like to believe so. Maybe other bros can verify their experiences

However, in addressing your question, what i would do if i found out about an affair...

For me, I'm quite fair by my own standards.. i will ask myself what i have done wrong. Because for me, vietnamese will not go doing something behind my back without a reason so the reason must have been she has given up on me...Totally!! So i will need to be asking myself questions. Have i done her wrong? Have i neglected her? etc...

Also, who's to say only men are allowed to look for gals when they are married? only man have the license to do so? That's so MCP!
I am of the opinion that if i myself played outside, then i must be prepared that one day i will get my retribution. You've watched "wu jian dao"?

"Chu lai zou, chi zao dou yao huan"
"come out and play, you'll need to pay back sooner and later"

So bro besafe, I think its only fair that if now, you are meeting someone's wife, and have scored an "offside" goal...You should be prepared to faced the same thing when it happens to you...how you handle it is up to you...
Just remember not to run up to the referee and cry "offiside" when its happens to you next time. I think it works both ways....
...Dun take it personally ok...just my views.;)

So as long as she dun let me find out about it, i will not bother to make a consistent and consiencious effort to check on her and i expect the same from her. i mean lets be frank, there will be a time or two that i'll do a check on her handphone and msgs but its just innocent impulsive kind of check...not a check that i've planned for everyday in my timetable....i think you know what i mean... There must be a mutual understanding from both parties to have some personal space. At the end of the day, we know we must take care and contribute to family building.

But, if i do find out that she is having an affair, i will ask her about it. We wil have a nice problem solving session which i have always with my wife. To find out what and where have gone wrong....see if there's any chance of working out each other's expectations, if yes then good...work together...if no, i dun see any point in forcing the relationship...even if she's with you her heart is not...so what's the point in keeping this trustless and loveless relationship?

I may sound like talking big but i must admit i haven't faced such a situation before so i am only telling you how i will face it and handle should it happened one day. So far, the only major problem was she suspect i have a second wife outside, which i dun have...playing outside yes! 2nd wife? no! cos i know at the end of the day, i married my wife for a reason - love - and this reason is what keeps me from straying too far "offside".:p

In conclusion, i will say its trust and all about building a family together (this is another big topic by itself )Without it, dun marry anyone. I dun want to spend the rest of my married life worrying about and putting in overtime everyday to check on my spouse, do you?;)

besafe

13-12-2008, 02:26 PM

Dear Brother,

Very well said. I appreciate your response.
Really something for me o ponder over.
Really wish you both all the best in life !

Take care !

casannova03

13-12-2008, 02:36 PM

Dear Brother,

Very well said. I appreciate your response.
Really something for me o ponder over.
Really wish you both all the best in life !

Take care !

Thanks for your well wishings! I too wish you all the best!;)

Hurricane88

13-12-2008, 03:00 PM

Wow, I read all the posts....congratulations to TS on a blissful marriage....:):)

camelot

14-12-2008, 08:31 PM

You need to get this sorted out befre your marriage...not during your married life...there are many other things to enjoy and learn during your married life.

Trust is the key in any successful marriage. Unless of course the both of you stick to each other 24hrs of the day, which is not practical and logical. SO...if you think that you will spend your whole day worrying if your wife is cheating behind you, why marry her? why get yourself into such a marriage? I dun see any advantages in doing so...

However, in addressing your question, what i would do if i found out about an affair...

For me, I'm quite fair by my own standards.. i will ask myself what i have done wrong. ... doing something behind my back without a reason so the reason must have been she has given up on me...Totally!! So i will need to be asking myself questions. Have i done her wrong? Have i neglected her? etc...

In conclusion, i will say its trust and all about building a family together (this is another big topic by itself )Without it, dun marry anyone. I dun want to spend the rest of my married life worrying about and putting in overtime everyday to check on my spouse, do you?;)

very true and very wise words.
must say that you are very matured in your thinking despite your relatively young age...guess you are probably 29 or thereabouts ( hope i do not sound patronising )

casannova03

15-12-2008, 01:53 PM

very true and very wise words.
must say that you are very matured in your thinking despite your relatively young age...guess you are probably 29 or thereabouts ( hope i do not sound patronising )

Thanks for your comments bro...;)

Sometimes, unexpected events in one's life forces one to grow up in order to survive....:eek:

If you are careful in reading my posts, you'll know that i am younger than your guess....haha....

Hint: knew my wife during NSF...... after 1 yr plus together then got married..been married for 5 years......;)

naemlo

15-12-2008, 02:03 PM

Hint: knew my wife during NSF...... after 1 yr plus together then got married..been married for 5 years......;)

No need to act young.... :D

birdie8819

15-12-2008, 02:06 PM

No need to act young.... :D

You very old meh ????? :p

naemlo

15-12-2008, 02:07 PM

You very old meh ????? :p

All right lah, 66 yrs old.... so how was many ba xa last fri?? Did u go disco with her? :rolleyes:

birdie8819

15-12-2008, 02:19 PM

All right lah, 66 yrs old.... so how was many ba xa last fri?? Did u go disco with her? :rolleyes:

That BX young and naughty hor .... kekekeke... if my that BX not with me I sure ask her out one . :p :D

No lah ..... NNKC 1.30 am liao you still around meh ....SMS me for what , me reach home wana koon liao . :D

naemlo

15-12-2008, 02:25 PM

That BX young and naughty hor .... kekekeke... if my that BX not with me I sure ask her out one .

Too young to bring out.... :D Furthermore wants to go disco... nbz I 66 yrs old liao, go disco??? :eek:

No lah ..... NNKC 1.30 am liao you still around meh ....SMS me for what , me reach home wana koon liao . :D

Asked u wake up, go toilet shhh shhh.

casannova03

15-12-2008, 02:29 PM

No need to act young.... :D

Alamak!!:eek: why you come expose me you old man!!! hahahaha!

But seriously, i not as old as you la....you 66 ma....i confirm younger than you!!hahah:D

naemlo

15-12-2008, 02:30 PM

But seriously, i not as old as you la....you 66 ma....i confirm younger than you!!hahah:D

If I fortunate enough, I have a son like your age :D

birdie8819

15-12-2008, 02:33 PM

Alamak!!:eek: why you come expose me you old man!!! hahahaha!

But seriously, i not as old as you la....you 66 ma....i confirm younger than you!!hahah:

If I fortunate enough, I have a son like your age :

Like I said b4 66 divided by 2 . :p :D

Ya Ya your son in Thailand lah .... not here . :p

naemlo

15-12-2008, 02:42 PM

Ya Ya your son in Thailand lah .... not here . :p

Not Vietnam meh??? :rolleyes:

birdie8819

15-12-2008, 02:44 PM

Not Vietnam meh??? ::

Oh ya hor not only in Thailand .... Indonesia , Vietnam also have BUT here in Sillypore bo niah . :p :D

2 9 STSP ai mai ... ai then I call both the gals to come . :p

naemlo

15-12-2008, 02:46 PM

2 9 STSP ai mai ... ai then I call both the gals to come . :p

Si mi STSP??? I old liao dun so much abt youngster codes. :D

birdie8819

15-12-2008, 02:51 PM

Si mi STSP??? I old liao dun so much abt youngster codes. :D

NNKC !!! STSP = same time same place lah .... simi youngster code ... duno who's younger anyhow say . :D :p

naemlo

15-12-2008, 02:53 PM

NNKC !!! STSP = same time same place lah .... simi youngster code ... duno who's younger anyhow say . :D :p

Ok... onzzz. Ba xa oi... :D

casannova03

15-12-2008, 03:05 PM

Ok... onzzz. Ba xa oi... :D

Knn!! you damn flirt lei...simi lang also your ba xa!!:D:D

naemlo

15-12-2008, 03:08 PM

Knn!! you damn flirt lei...simi lang also your ba xa!!:D:D

Old man liao, hornier.... :D

casannova03

15-12-2008, 03:09 PM

Old man liao, hornier.... :D

ya due to the long lasting effect of the blue pill right?? haha:D:D

naemlo

15-12-2008, 03:26 PM

ya due to the long lasting effect of the blue pill right?? haha:D:D

No pill needed.... :D

birdie8819

15-12-2008, 04:05 PM

Knn!! you damn flirt lei...simi lang also your ba xa!!

You're only half right ... kekekeke..... he simi lang/lan also can one ... as long as got hole can liao . :p :D

No pill needed....

Ya cause you only 66 divided by 2 niah mah . :D

naemlo

15-12-2008, 04:16 PM

You're only half right ... kekekeke..... he simi lang/lan also can one ... as long as got hole can liao . :p :D

Wrong, must be SYT n not black.

casannova03

17-12-2008, 12:54 PM

...Continued

Challenges 2 - Coping with YOUR family (Part 2)

... I think the last scene of my mom holding a chopper sort of sum up my rocky relationship with her.... and it did not improve even till the day of my ROM.

After I left my house, i stayed at a rented apartment with my wife and her friends, like i menetioned earlier. During this period of time, i was all out there on my own, meaning i have to study,worked part time after studies, so that i could pay for the rental and my petrol and living expenses.

Contact with my family was at the minimum, with me and my wife turning up for the occasional birthday dinners of my grandparents and cousins. Even during these occasions, i would not talk to my mom and only to my dad and my brother and sister. Somehow, news spread and my other family members such as my uncles and aunties would come up to me and asked me about what happened and i would have to assure them that all is well.

Well, this 'cold war' between me and my mom was on-going even up to the day of my ROM. This is what happened....

When i have registered for the ROM, I called my dad and told him about it cos i have named him as one of the witnesses for the solemnization day. He asked me if i have considered it properly and i told him yes. Then he asked me to call my mom personally and inform her as a gesture of respect. Well, i did as instructed and informed my mom about it and even discussed about the reception for relatives such as whether to have a buffet reception or not.

Of course there was the usual bickering during the phone conversation but she knew i had made up my mind about it so there was nothing she can do..THEN, one day before the ROM, i called my dad and reminded him that tomorrow was the solemnization and asked him not to forget. He then ask me to remind my mom personally as well....

I did that as well..." Mom, dun forget tomorrow at XX.XXam at ROM ok!"

Her reply shocked me!!!!

"What ROM? how come you never tell me anything about it? You still regard me as your mom?":eek:

"This type of thing so important and you have the cheek to tell me just one day before the ROM! what kind of a son are you?!!"

I erupted!!!

"You dun try to deny it ok, two weeks ago i did call you and inform you ok!!! we even discussed about the buffet reception and now you are trying to say you dun know anything about it?"

Mom:

"No! nothing at all!! and i am telling you I will not be going! neither is your dad for i am not allowing him to go!! "

In the end, my mom did not turn up for the ROM and i asked my dad not to come too. Not because i did not want him to but i know the kind of trouble and dilemna he will be in due to the pressure from my mom. My mom will always blame my dad for spoiling me from young la..Blar blar blar and its always my dad's fault for everything....

So, i had to do a last min change of witness on the actual day to make sure the ROM goes thru!!

In conclusion, i think many of those who are in the process of getting married should not have gone thru what did. It should be a lot more easier and smoother.

My point is:

Like i always said, with the benefit of hindsight, i am able to tell you what i feel is the most important or the way out of such situtions.

You do need to know how to handle the objections and the questions from your family members. It may be telling them the truth about how you know her and where you know her, and hope that the will be able to accept your decison. Or it may be telling a 'white lie' as to where and how you met her. For me, i used a combination of both - a bit of truth and a bit of 'white lie'. At the end of the day, you have to be ready to answer to your family for they are the most important people in your life.

Remember! your job is not to antagonise either your family or your wife. It is to reconcile the differences, the cultural gap and the prejudices. Using some time to educate and meeting up more helps to build up the relationship between family and wife.

Why i say so is because, although i had a torrid relationship with my mom in the beginning of the relationship with my wife, everything is fine now. Its all about communication, understanding one another and knowing the point of view of your family. Talk to one another to work out the worries and concerns. It is the best way towards a harmonious relationship.

Today, my mom is on good terms with my wife and me. They often go shopping together and occasionally buy things for each other....(but never buy for me!!!:()....I must say this is something that is wonderful and i sincerely hope all bros with VN wives will be able to enjoy such wonderful relationship between mom and wife!!

Cheers!! ;)

Hurricane88

17-12-2008, 01:06 PM

...Continued

Challenges 2 - Coping with YOUR family (Part 2)

..............
Today, my mom is on good terms with my wife and me. They often go shopping together and occasionally buy things for each other....(but never buy for me!!!:()....I must say this is something that is wonderful and i sincerely hope all bros with VN wives will be able to enjoy such wonderful relationship between mom and wife!!

Cheers!! ;)

Nice to hear that everything is peaceful in the family...keep it coming...next episode please....:)

Cheunn Jai

17-12-2008, 03:32 PM

Saw this -
However, after that day, she keeps pestering me not to go there and drink everyday. i did not know why she was doing this. I felt sad and all the more i wanted to go and see her. however, i continued my daily ritual of sending her to and fro work.Such was my frequency at the pub that staffs there all knew about me.. even till today when i pop in once in a while they will ask about my wife.. anyway, the more i went there, the more unhappy she was.....Well, at this point, i will highlight what many bros must have felt, myself included.(doubt starts to set in)

And expected this -
She laughed " you virgin ah? first time have girlfriend is it?? which girl want the man they like to see them being touched and hugged by another man?? We know you can accept because you never say anything but she cannot accept ma...understand xiao di di???

Most people send and fetch to make sure that things are going alright and also to tell themselves that once out of the joint, everything is left behind. What they do not realises is that by doing its also a sign that says "I endorse your presence".

Nice ending! Gratz you found happiness, I lost my 1st gf of 4yrs before I ROD too.:p

besafe

17-12-2008, 06:11 PM

Brother Casannova
Received sms today from her that she is pregnant with baby (not mine of course) and will not be able to see me for a long long time.
That was certainly good news for me, as I was pondering how to tell her that I am not seeing her anymore.
What a sigh of relief ! Thanks for the advice on scoring an offsite goal. I don't think I will want to do that again.
Take care.

casannova03

17-12-2008, 06:36 PM

glad things turned out in your favour!!

Anyway, look ahead and walk on...its what you do from now on that counts!;)

wuzz

17-12-2008, 08:14 PM

Hi bro, can I talk with u in private

Snuber

17-12-2008, 11:22 PM

Why i say so is because, although i had a torrid relationship with my mom in the beginning of the relationship with my wife, everything is fine now. Its all about communication, understanding one another and knowing the point of view of your family.
How did ur wife communicate with ur family? Mandarin or English or? She made an effort to study or she already knows the language?

Hurricane88

18-12-2008, 01:02 PM

How did ur wife communicate with ur family? Mandarin or English or? She made an effort to study or she already knows the language?

His wife study in Sillypore since 2003....should be able to speak English and Mandarin by now...:)

ganbei

18-12-2008, 02:03 PM

Its sad to know that you had a hurricane marriage. But its glad to know that you have weathered the storm. Adversity makes Man. Between man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love.

casannova03

18-12-2008, 03:11 PM

Hi bro, can I talk with u in private

sure! send me a private msg! ;)

casannova03

18-12-2008, 03:14 PM

How did ur wife communicate with ur family? Mandarin or English or? She made an effort to study or she already knows the language?

She was here to study english language so initially was able to communicate with my mom using simple english....well, my mom's english standard is not that gd so i guess they sort of understand each other's broken english in the beginning!!:D

Now my wife communicates in chinese....she says chinese easier to learn!!!:p

naemlo

18-12-2008, 03:15 PM

sure! send me a private msg! ;)

Ba xa oi :D

casannova03

18-12-2008, 03:21 PM

Ba xa oi :D

Simi tai chi???

naemlo

18-12-2008, 03:23 PM

Simi tai chi???

O dau? muon di om bia kg? :D

casannova03

18-12-2008, 03:26 PM

O dau? muon di om bia kg? :D

haha!! om bia=hug beer!!!

I got quite a lot of stuffs to do lei....then tonight i meeting up another group of my friends for bachelor's session liao lei....:confused:

Paiseh!! paiseh!

naemlo

18-12-2008, 03:29 PM

haha!! om bia=hug beer!!!

!

Should be uong bia... :D

RJ2004

18-12-2008, 04:35 PM

haha!! om bia=hug beer!!!

I got quite a lot of stuffs to do lei....then tonight i meeting up another group of my friends for bachelor's session liao lei....:confused:

Paiseh!! paiseh!

he wanna hug the beer tower :p

Snuber

18-12-2008, 05:52 PM

She was here to study english language so initially was able to communicate with my mom using simple english....

Now my wife communicates in chinese....she says chinese easier to learn!!!:p
Hmmm.. so that teacher is a Viet as well? Else I couldn't understand how did ur wife manage to learn if there r no translators etc.

casannova03

18-12-2008, 06:52 PM

Hmmm.. so that teacher is a Viet as well? Else I couldn't understand how did ur wife manage to learn if there r no translators etc.

haha teacher is 'xiao di' ME!! hahaha
like i have mentioned somewhere, i learn viet where she learn english and chinese...together we learn!! haha....;)

stat_79

18-12-2008, 08:27 PM

Great sharing... it might means nothing much to most of the readers but u never know it might enlighten some lost child who is still pondering what to do...
haha... anyway a great life story bro!!!:)

darkangel

21-12-2008, 09:13 PM

Hmmm, people are zapping me saying that "You shouldn't up someone reputation who marry a prostitute because his action will bring social ill to our society".

However, my thinking is on the contradictory because marrying a WL will help those unfortunate girls and reduce less bachelor and samsters? Doesn't that improve social ill in our society?

How come there are still so many narrow minded samsters who wants to cheong but carry prejudice against WL while still surfing in this forum in the first place? You should go zap yourself because isn't that a very big irony?

amostio

21-12-2008, 10:32 PM

Hmmm, people are zapping me saying that "You shouldn't up someone reputation who marry a prostitute because his action will bring social ill to our society".

Bro Darkangel, it takes all kinds to make up this world.

Short story. My friend recently came back from China with a new wife! Nobody knew about it till he returned. Unfortunately for him, he fell in love and married a WL. Well, the happiness soon turned to sorrow as friends after friends started to bad mouth him; in front or behind his back.

He turned to me as I was in the same boat as him. We shared many a HH or coffee until he came to terms with his life. Now, I can't say he's happier or not but I like to believe that he is. He can now look up high and not be bothered by what others say.

The only disappointment is that one of our closest friend is still not able to accept it. Whether he means well or not is not the point. He will go on and on and on about the mistake my friend made.

I took it for a while till I also tulan and told him off: "Who are you to judge what others do. He didn't commit a crime. Why can't you be happy for him? He has chosen his happiness. Let's share in that rather than throw cold water on him everyday."

Live and let live.

casannova03

22-12-2008, 02:32 AM

Hmmm, people are zapping me saying that "You shouldn't up someone reputation who marry a prostitute because his action will bring social ill to our society".

Dun worry bro, let the bro who marry a PROSTITUTE (Me!! yes me!! CASANNOVA03) up you back later!!

Just ignore him la...he is the same guy going around looking for ppl like me and viet gals lovers to zap....i suspect he even have a battalion of clones out there just for this purpose....like i have said b4..his life is quite sad...at least i married a prostitute, got her away from all the bad influences and started a happy family....This guy?? hahahaha.....he can only hide behind his computer everyday thinking of which clone to use to zap which bro....so pathetic!!:rolleyes:

and guess what!! no money for doing so!! hahaha...dunno what's in his grey matters...but obviously not a lot up there...for i have seen quite a few zap comments...all using the same words over and over again.....social ills la....viet dog la....Sigh! no wonder singapore needs so many foreign talents!:D

And i am expecting him to zap me again after this post!!;) Let's see how fast it is this time!!:D

Thom07

22-12-2008, 02:54 PM

Aiya, highly likely that that person got "ownage" or "pawned" by a viet girl before and now he 想不开 and 放不下。 ;)

technofreak

22-12-2008, 05:21 PM

Dun worry bro, let the bro who marry a PROSTITUTE (Me!! yes me!! CASANNOVA03) up you back later!!

And i am expecting him to zap me again after this post!! Let's see how fast it is this time!!

Don't dwell too much on the matter bro...Khi nao em di choi duoc?? Anh nung cac nua roi...:D

Aiya, highly likely that that person got "ownage" or "pawned" by a viet girl before and now he 想不开 and 放不下。

因为那女人不为他开，所以他就没得通！:cool:

casannova03

22-12-2008, 07:09 PM

Don't dwell too much on the matter bro...Khi nao em di choi duoc?? Anh nung cac nua roi...:D
[/COLOR]

haha..I thought you say only Fri can? haha...Now i try to go out less...Cos wife just had abortion not too long ago!:(

So i try to spend more time with her cos i think she very emotional recently due to the loss...but i dun mind early go early come back la.. you arrange and let me know lor!;)

besafe

22-12-2008, 07:17 PM

Dear Brother,
So sorry to hear about the abortion.
Take care and all the best to you both.

jackbl

22-12-2008, 10:38 PM

Hi, maybe we can meet up together with your wife and my gf. BTW she is from Cho Moi, My Hiep. If your wife also from there then they may know each other :p

haha..I thought you say only Fri can? haha...Now i try to go out less...Cos wife just had abortion not too long ago!:(

So i try to spend more time with her cos i think she very emotional recently due to the loss...but i dun mind early go early come back la.. you arrange and let me know lor!;)

kylea

23-12-2008, 02:12 AM

haha..I thought you say only Fri can? haha...Now i try to go out less...Cos wife just had abortion not too long ago!:(

So i try to spend more time with her cos i think she very emotional recently due to the loss...but i dun mind early go early come back la.. you arrange and let me know lor!;)

Sad to hear about the abortion.
Good move and a considerate one to spend more times with her.
Take care and wish both of u all the best in the coming future.

saint82

23-12-2008, 02:21 AM

naemlo

23-12-2008, 09:48 AM

haha..I thought you say only Fri can? haha...Now i try to go out less...Cos wife just had abortion not too long ago!:(

Wow, this I also dunno.... :rolleyes: What is your religion?

Hurricane88

23-12-2008, 09:51 AM

casannova03

23-12-2008, 10:40 AM

Hi, maybe we can meet up together with your wife and my gf. BTW she is from Cho Moi, My Hiep. If your wife also from there then they may know each other :p

I am sure that can be arranged!....;)

casannova03

23-12-2008, 10:44 AM

Wow, this I also dunno.... :rolleyes: What is your religion?

actually it was quite a while ago...i think back in OCT..but recently i realised she was quite affected by the loss and starts self-blaming so i thought i better spend more time with her....

Why ask my religion??:confused: haha!

You wanna perform religious rituals for my unborn foetus F-O-C is it??:D

casannova03

23-12-2008, 10:47 AM

Hey TS

I read through the whole thread (unless i missed it out), u never talk about how you cope when she is back in vietnam every 2 months when she is still working..

care to share ya experience how u pass time when she is not here??

I think i did mentioned somewhere in my thread...anyway, in case i left it out, my wife was here on a 6mths renewable student's pass last time so i did not have to cope with the situation of her going back every 2 mths...;)

technofreak

23-12-2008, 10:49 AM

haha..I thought you say only Fri can? haha...Now i try to go out less...Cos wife just had abortion not too long ago!

Oopss...Forgot to tell you holidays I'm available too...:p

What happen?? Why don't keep the child? Care to share? Else you may relate when we meet up...^_^

So i try to spend more time with her cos i think she very emotional recently due to the loss...but i dun mind early go early come back la.. you arrange and let me know lor!

Should be Christmas eve...Confirm with you again. :)

Anyway, sad to hear about the loss and wish you all the best...^_^

jackbl

23-12-2008, 11:04 AM

If there any christmas eve celebration for the viet community here? if yes, i wil bring my gf along... :p

I am sure that can be arranged!....;)

weer

23-12-2008, 08:20 PM

If there any christmas eve celebration for the viet community here? if yes, i wil bring my gf along... :p

You can celebrate with your gf now, after Viet beat SG 1:0 in last Sunday's match, to move forward to Final. :D

Darkstorm

23-12-2008, 11:55 PM

haha..I thought you say only Fri can? haha...Now i try to go out less...Cos wife just had abortion not too long ago!:(

So i try to spend more time with her cos i think she very emotional recently due to the loss...but i dun mind early go early come back la.. you arrange and let me know lor!;)

I'm sorry to hear about it. I wish both of you a happy marriage and more good years ahead.

casannova03

24-12-2008, 02:25 PM

Thanks to all bros for the well-wishings!

Appreciate them very much!

I wish all bros who follow my thread:

"Merry Christmas!"

.....I will be back posting again after the New Year!;)

birdie8819

24-12-2008, 02:30 PM

Thanks to all bros for the well-wishings!

I wish all bros who follow my thread:

"Merry Christmas!"

.....I will be back posting again after the New Year!;)

Merry Christmas And All The Best To You !!! ;)

Hope to see you back soon . ;)

Thanks for your upz .... will return favour soon !!!!! :)

hichew

29-12-2008, 11:06 PM

casannova03

30-12-2008, 11:39 AM

After spending much time reading happy ending stories by bro casannova03!! must really congratz.. but still must count yourself lucky bah.. that is people always said.. fate comes.. how u wanna siam aso cannot...

Anyway.. Vietnamese Spicy Beef noodle nice leh!! haha bro.. u know in sg where can find such authetic tasty food?

Thanks....for food, you can refer to the other two threads....Understanding Vietnamese Life Partners or Tieng Viet Lovers Club for more information.

I think other bros have posted on where to find cheap and good vietnamese food!;)

daniely4

31-12-2008, 01:21 AM

bro cassanova,

thanks for the heart warming story.
so interesting , can also use for ch 8 drama. (not trying to be sacarstic)

anyway, from one of your earlier post, I gather your wife has CIN from HPV infection? Well do remember to make her go regularly for pap smears cause she is at higher risk for recurrence.

take care and have a happy new year

paradize

31-12-2008, 01:54 AM

Hi TS,

You are rare breed of us men, weathered all the storms, overcame all the

odds.

Thanks for sharing your joy with us. I am sure you will be blessed with a

lifetime of happiness and a blissful marriage.

Cheers ~
paradize

naemlo

31-12-2008, 09:54 AM

Happy New Year to my bros here....

I will be back soon. :D

etct88

31-12-2008, 11:21 AM

Happy New Year to my bros here....

I will be back soon. :D

YES........Happy New Year to all bros here....

We all will be back soon.

Have a good time ....... in .......

casannova03

31-12-2008, 04:40 PM

Happy New Year guys!!

Have a wonderful eve tonight!!!

;);)

casannova03

03-01-2009, 01:54 PM

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Its another year past and another year ahead with my Vietnamese wife! time flies....we're going into our 6th year together as a couple!

In view of 2008, we've had some discussion of marrying an ex-WL and the challenges of doing so. In 2009, i will continue posting more of the challenges of doing so....If bros have any other queries that they have with regards to this issue, feel free to ask me...i will try to help with my limited experiences and my opinions.

Maybe i'll just start 2009 with my thoughts and regards to this very issue of a WL(vietnamese)...

My Sentiments

The general feelings in this very forum are that WLs are for bonking and they are as vicious as they can get, cheating man of their money, their love and maybe in extreme cases, causing family break-up and man to become bankrupt! And that these gals are bitches and sluts that should be condemned to the very bottom of hell.

I am of the opinion that if a man does not want such things to happen, they very well have the ability to do so. In fact, we should be in control of our own lives and not be controlled by others, much less a WL. Therefore, its no use to complain and push the blame to the WLs when things dun go your way. Let's face it! Face yourself in the mirror! 90% of man who goes to such places seeking fun usually looks for fun with sexual intentions attached. You know jolly well what these gals are here for. You want to play the game, you jolly well make sure you are up to it. No use crying foul when you're defeated...you're just another victim in the game. What do you gain by slandering the other party and accusing them of this and that. As a matter of fact, you should stand up, get wise and carry on with your life!

Accord human beings (WLs included) their basic respect, yes, they have chosen to take the easy path, yes, they have degraded themselves in order to earn money. So does that make you a saint by creating a mkt for their services? No, you're just as bad or even worse. You 've enjoyed yourself at the expense of another! In losing the game in these flowery and deceiving chionging scenes, you chose to blame the WLs for everything. How smart are you then, when some less educated WLs from some countryside is able to con you of your money,love and feelings?? Get real! This scene is not for the faint-hearted! You require determination, astuteness, grit and awareness to emerge unscathed! Play the game like a MAN, lose or win like a MAN! Dun go whimpering and complaining like a pussy when you lose for everyone else will just laugh at you and say "I told you so right??!!!" Some with friends who are more mean may encounter this (behind their back): "hahaha!! that cam lan tua chee bye finally kena cheated!!!:D

A WL

A Working Lady(WL) as the term suggests, is one who sells her services for money. It may be accompanying man at KTV joints,bars,pubs or in the hotels rooms providing sexual services or a combination of some or all of these. Their primary aim is here to earn money by selling their services. Their job is to get as much money as possible out of their time at work - Just like a fisherman out at sea, to get as big a haul of catch as possible before returning to shore.

Therefore, you can rest assure that they will use whatever ways and means in their power to ensure that they get the maximum out of WILLING customers in order to reach their goal(to earn as much money as possible in the shortest time). The rules of the game is ...you willing to give, i willing to take. Simple!

However, they will play by some basic rules such as not breaking the law...

1.) They will not use firearms against customers in order to get their money, thats tantamount to armed robbery with a death sentence in lawful sillypore.

2.) They will also not use knives and/or other dangerous weapons and put them to your throat in order to get the money. That's also a jailable offence.

3.) They dun kidnap your family or loved ones and demand ransom from them. Its an offence punishable by hanging.

Well, as you can see, you're not forced to give money to them! In fact many a time, you do so out of your own free will, either because you are infatuated by them or you chose to ignore the warning signs or you want to be THE knight in shining armour!!

Strange? That casannova03 is actually highlighting all the bad points of WLs now? That he is finally speaking the truth of WLs in 2009? That he is admiting that WLs are nothing but cheats?

Well, NO!! I'm just telling you: A WL has got to do what A WL has to do!;) They just doing their job!!

Often I find the respect towards Wls(as a human being) lacking! You can choose to despise them for their choice of the trade but you need to accord them the respect as a human being. After all, without them where do you get your fun? Without them, this forum will not exist and become so successful in the past few years!

WLs have families, siblings and loved ones too just like you and me. Once they reach home, out of sight of their customers, they remove the facade that they put on at work. Off comes the skimpy clothes, thick make-up and the mascara. They then tuck themselves in to boiling MAGGI MEE after a tiring night at work to entertain sex-craved men like you and me.

Society despises them for they are often deemed to lead man astray, break family up and cheat man's money. So naturally, they become a convenient outlet for the blame game of the very man who patronise them when caught with their pants down. we often hear things like: "its her who seduce me when i have to entertain customers, not my fault!" " so you are the foxy vixen who seduces my husband!!" How true is this of man who patronise night scenes is for you to judge!

If one day, all WLs were to become honest school gals who report the school bully to the headmaster, what fun is there at nightclubs then? They dun allow you to touch them, no hugging, just sitting by your side. Not allowed to give girlfriend feeling, no seducing, cannot go out after work. No hotels trips. No sex involved. But you still have to pay me tips after i spend some time as a FLOWER VASE beside you. Is this the night scene we love to go to?? haha! I'll rather stay at home and watch Discovery Channel!!

So as you may see, if a WL does not do what they have to do, where do we get the girlfriend feeling? where do we get our sex? where do we get our perversed idea of fun - teh ne ne, climb mountains and crawl underground?? Credit to the WLs for making the scene so fun, so full of unknowns and dangers! Isn't this the very thing that keeps us going back? That makes us tell white lies to wives and girlfriends just so that we can have a night of fun with our kakis?

So in 2009, i hope all chiongsters can accord WLs (any nationality) their basic respect. You may hve been burned before playing the game but that does not give you the right to insult them for you are insulting yourself as well. Without us man who craved the WLs, where comes all these girls who work as WLs. Try telling them they can earn 500-800 per month by working as WL....you think anyone wanna work as WL?? So always remember that when we point 1 finger at the WLs, there's another 4 pointing backwards towards ourselves! Yes! without us paying the money, there will be no WLs and vice versa!.....

Without demand for fishes, will the fisherman still risk their lives out at sea trying to catch fishes??

Without us paying money for sexual services or giving them money when they asked, will WLs risk being caught and send back and barred from coming SG ever again,sometimes being jailed??

you decide!

Wishing all a happy 2009!!!

Hurricane88

03-01-2009, 11:21 PM

So in 2009, i hope all chiongsters can accord WLs (any nationality) their basic respect.

Wishing all a happy 2009!!!

Happy new year..:)

Respect others and others will respect you always....:)

smallbrother

05-01-2009, 11:38 AM

Well Said, casannova03.

naemlo

05-01-2009, 12:24 PM

Without us paying money for sexual services or giving them money when they asked, will WLs risk being caught and send back and barred from coming SG ever again,sometimes being jailed??

I guess the main agenda is whether to marry a WL is right/wrong. There will be always different views... no one is right or wrong cos everyone chooses his own path. It is just the mindset on how ppl think about these marriages. Anyway, as long as happy, why bother about how ppl think :D

Respect or not also depends on individual. As for me, I neither respect nor disrespect. She treats me well, I treat her well back. She treats me shit, I will ask her f off. :D

technofreak

06-01-2009, 01:33 PM

casannova03

07-01-2009, 02:03 PM

Well said Bro Casanova!! KNN very tired looking at your "essay" every time ley...So "chim" sia. Eh last time your GP scored A1 ah?? :p

Anyway, when u reporting to Her Majesty again?? :)

Regards,
Techno

Haha...no lei...I only got B4 for my standards lei:o..there are more powerful writers out there la...me only normal standard ...

I trying to find time to drink also lei but recently very busy ....maybe after chinese new year then will be free ba:(...

Hows everything?

jackbl

12-01-2009, 12:31 AM

Got time to continue to share your experiences?

I trying to find time to drink also lei but recently very busy ....maybe after chinese new year then will be free ba:(...

Hows everything?

casannova03

13-01-2009, 01:51 PM

Got time to continue to share your experiences?

A bit busy la...but i already have some thought for the next post....stay tuned...;)

jackbl

13-01-2009, 02:33 PM

Sure! Camping here!!!

When your sister-in-law come sgp huh?!

A bit busy la...but i already have some thought for the next post....stay tuned...;)

casannova03

13-01-2009, 02:43 PM

most prob after CNY ...:D

jackbl

13-01-2009, 03:41 PM

Is HER queue very long??? hehe...

Then u will be busy lor... no time to come out then :o

most prob after CNY ...:D

xcapade

13-01-2009, 10:11 PM

I jus finish reading all the pages.....I really love happy ending...it's like watching a movie.....in fact it's better cos it's real....thanx alot for sharing...Wish u all the best for u and ur family !

jackbl

17-01-2009, 09:32 AM

Is it illegal to bring vietnamese movies to sgp? if not, can i ask her to transport some for me here?

most prob after CNY ...:D

casannova03

17-01-2009, 11:09 AM

i think a few pieces of dvd should be fine...but if its a lot, then they might start to think you wanna sell it over here...haha

Anyway, what movies you have in mind?

jackbl

17-01-2009, 11:31 AM

About 12 dvd, already bought. Go to buu dien, they said cannot send over, cos its fake one. Those are Talks that make people laugh, i dun know how to say exactly the words.

i think a few pieces of dvd should be fine...but if its a lot, then they might start to think you wanna sell it over here...haha

Anyway, what movies you have in mind?

casannova03

17-01-2009, 11:57 AM

Its been a long time since I continued on my original aim of this thread - to relate the challenges and the life of being married to a VN gal(ex Wl).

So long that i have forgotten what i have already posted and i have got to re-read the last few of my own postings...:D

I have more or less concluded my experiences on the part before our marriage which is getting to know her and some of the experiences and challenges that i faced....actually there are some more la but i few they are not so important so i have left them out. If you feel that you want to know some more stuffs, pls ask me. I will try my best to recall if i have similar experiences during the pre-marriage stage.

And now....Married!!

CAUTION

A lot of you guys may have found the perfect partner and may have put in a lot of effort in the getting to know you stage - where you try to determine her love for you, her real intentions and her real personality. You have come thru it and you felt that the time is right to settle down. Ok so you go thru it, the ROM, the banquet(if you have) and the formalities involved. What next??

Ok initially, there is this period of time where she cannot find work cos as a LTSVP holder, she cannot work as yet. So its always you work she stay at home kind of schedule. This may lead some bros to feel uncomfortable cos you are afraid of what she might do when she is all alone at home. Well, all i can say is you've made your choice...if at this stage you still suspect her, then, you've jumped the gun!

Anyway, what can you do during this period of time? I feel this is the time to send your wife for some courses!! And i mean some courses that will enable her to pick up some skills and eventually find employment when she gets her PR (abt 6 mths to 1 year estimate). I did not do it in the first place cos i was doing quite ok in my own business then. On hindsight, i feel i have wasted this period of time cos basically all she does everyday is stay at home, cook, wash clothes watch tv etc. In life, you never know when your next rough patch is so i guess its always better to have both person working and saving money for your future.

However, before that you might want to expedite her language proficiency. I was lucky in a sense that my wife actually studied the english language while working here. So she have had some degree of proficiency in langauge. So maybe one of the very first course should be english or mandarin. I feel english is sufficient cos after that you can then teach her to speak mandarin on your own. (i dun think they wanna learn or need to learn how to write in chinese.....it'll be a nightmare!!!)

Once that is done, you might want to find some skill courses for them. In my opinion, the beauty sector is one of the few that is best for them. Cos i guess, most of them do not have a high level of education. In the beauty industry, nobody cares if you've got a degree or masters. Its about if you've got the skills to do a nice job for customers.

So some skills can be manicure/pedicure, haircutting, beauty related stuffs like face massage, treatment etc. There is a varied array of such courses around and in fact, its quite easy to find employment in this industry once you have got the skills and the cert.

Occasionally, you may want to look out for BIG compines(i.e FIL/Marie-France/Jean Yip/Modern Beauty Salon etc) that offer work + study scheme (no experience needed). Which means that you do not have to pay course fees to learn the skills and you are guaranteed employment under the company. All you have to do is to sign a bond which says you will have to work for the company for at least 1 year after the course is completed! Trust me!!! there is such thing!! you just gotta be more observant the next time you read the papers or when you pass by such beauty outlets when you go shopping. How i know? Cos my wife signed up with one of the 'big ones' with virtually no experience but quit halfway cos she dun like the way big companies work....so end up she took a private course.

So i guess this posts sort of address the immediate period after marriage and suggest what you can let her do in that free time.... and it will keep her occupied and of course for those bros still fretting if she will go back to her old trade, it will give her a new direction in life! That is to learn new skills and get employed and earn her own keep...."the morally right path"....

Hope it helps.....stay tuned for the next one!!;);)