Local girls.

[mosesmadmao]

Hi all brothers, please share your thoughts and experiences with local girls in this thread. Are they as demanding as people think? Does the average man still stand a chance at landing a local graduate. What causes 40%(according to a Straits Times article) of Singaporeans to marry foreigners?? What do local girls expect from men etc etc. Please share your true thoughts and feelings.

[glooper83]

Local girls are quite a handful, with their better education levels, they are in a better position to think, to earn money than other girls in the region.

However, i do not think that this is a problem with our girls but more of a problem that is common with industrialised nations. Take a look at our western counterparts and we would soon realise that their women are equally as demanding as ours.

Qualities such as demure, sweet and innocent are harder to find among our locals nowadays. This is one tough aspect of life that i am coming terms to, but it is also the reason why i find bachelorhood enticing at the moment. I do ultimately want to settle down and it would probably be with a local girl. But that would only happen if i can find the right girl.

However, i have heard stories of taiwanese girls, and i prolly wouldnt mind settling for one if we can communicate in english.

All i can say is that, SG's success has come with a price, but it is about time that we guys also change our mindset and move on. ie, see how the ang mohs treat their women.

[Kittenish]

When the Singapore girls improve themselves, they also expect their partner to be as good, if not better. So it probably would be hard on the guys unless they work hard as well.
Used to be that graduate women bear less children, and male graduates prefer less highly educated wives. Has that changed?

[SBF Boy]

Is ok for both at same eduational level. Wonder how they derive the 40%. I still see many couples that I know from the same local U.

[fee3fow]

i also see alot of couple within the same Uni leh but in the end they will get marry anot? Most guys i think want their wife to be lower educated than them (got feeling of superior) imagine ur wife earning more than you :eek:

[NokiaUser82]

It's all in the mindset, but basically i find 4/5cs would do the trick.:D

[mosesmadmao]

Another article states that 68% of babies born here have both a Singaporean father and a Singaporean mother. That is a recent statistic as published in the Straits times. Local girl got many problems, hang ups etc. They expect the very best. Some of them even say they find sucking for you a chore and demeaning. Imagine that, got gf but nobody suck for you. How bad???


Is ok for both at same eduational level. Wonder how they derive the 40%. I still see many couples that I know from the same local U.

[mosesmadmao]

Another article states that 68% of babies born here have both a Singaporean father and a Singaporean mother. That is a recent statistic as published in the Straits times. Local girl got many problems, hang ups etc. They expect the very best. Some of them even say they find sucking for you a chore and demeaning. Imagine that, got gf but nobody suck for you. How bad???


Is ok for both at same eduational level. Wonder how they derive the 40%. I still see many couples that I know from the same local U.

[Kyser Soze]

I just have no luck with local girls since young. I wonder why. Despite arming with a degree, a decent profession and an above-average pay, they still probably feel I'm not good enough for them. Or probably they are stuck-up.

I'm no longer getting younger. My friends are having kids as old as Primary 1. Probably one day, I'm joining the "Clan of Foreigner Wives". :D

[mcvai]

Statistics are always about 'massaging' figures... lol

[Trueself]

Here guys are wondering where are the locals girls, and some locals girls are left on the shelves.. :eek:

[HairyBottom]

Here guys are wondering where are the locals girls, and some locals girls are left on the shelves.. :eek:

alot of local girls are left on the shelves still waiting for their perfect knight in shining armours to come pick them up one fine day. so what gives? be the perfect knight in shining armours can liao and u will soon be worried abt no time left for yrself. :p

time changes oledi...local girls nowadays are no longer dependent on guys so their taste and expectations will definitely increase..just like us guys when grow rich will also increase our expectations of girls in terms of looks, figure and class same goes for girls as they become successful, rich and independent they will also think the same..difference is that they will expect and demand even more cos outer appearance not enough still must have inner appearance..also other factors to consider like got own car lah, must be more successful and richer than her lah..gentle, sensitive, romantic and thoughful lah...blah blah blah..some even expect the guy to be able to cook! :eek: so compared to girls think guys expectations considered very little liao. hehehe.

but no matter how there are still less demanding local girls lah just that its down to your luck to be able to know them liao. worse come to worse go for foreign dishes loh...also steadily increasing by number every year. :D

[joew2005]

live with it OR leave it.
life goes on,they r here 4 gd.:o

[assrammer]

well, just my view.

i think we have to look at the situation from a few perspective.

as an individual, men and women alike, people want to have a partner that is of equal intelligence, personality traits, social status, etc. doesn't hurt if your partner is a little better than you, true?

this 'war' between men and women debating the issues of equal rights and so on, has somehow effected the mindsets of the individual. some men want a good stay home wife, some, a career minded woman that will help with business decisions. some women want a man that takes control of stuff, some, wants to be involved with decision making.

that brings us to the issue of compatibility of the individual, simple isn't it?

from a social and cultural stand point, we'll need to look into what has happened maybe from way back in the 60s and now. what happened during this period? back then, men were the breadwinners, women stayed at home. be it the lack of education or what, it was the way it was. expats were few, locals were struggling to make ends meet, men were banging it out there, so women back then did their best to be good wives.

come to 2008, education is available to everyone, people have their equal shots with all opportunities, everybody wants the best now, true? all cultures, asian and western alike, have learned a universal truth, money/success makes the world go round.

[NokiaUser82]

Despite arming with a degree, a decent profession and an above-average pay, they still probably feel I'm not good enough for them. Or probably they are stuck-up.
Probably one day, I'm joining the "Clan of Foreigner Wives". :D

Some girls just prefer foreigners compared to local guys. I don't see a wrong having a foreigner wife also. Good luck for your marriage further down the road.;)

[alexboy21]

I don't think it is too hard to find a local girlfriend//wife, most of the time people don't try hard enough.

Joining a dating agency is the first step, so many opening up recently. A lot of man and women have the stigma that marriage agency is only for the ugly desperate and ugly and do not join them.

Truth is there is alot of intelligent/ decent looking girls there that just couldn't find a BF due to work environment/shy etc.

[U need Help?]

everything is fated , when fated is here you will meet you love 1.... nothing can be force :cool:

[Jax_]

Singaporean girls are materialistic... - Talkback (http://talkback.stomp.com.sg/forums/showthread.php?t=54902)

Kinda interesting point of view from the Singapore female perspective as taken from a female magazine (where else?)

See.. they are able to provide for their own needs now, being more independent and educated and offered more equal work opportunities BUT they want their partners to be able to provide MORE than just basic needs.

Not saying that I totally agree with the view, but it offers a perspective into the evolving mindset of modern Singapore women.

Gender equality is already a moot issue. Too long to discuss and frankly no point. Let us men do what we do - keep our eye on the target and go for it, if she proves not worthy to be in our company, choose another one who deserves to be.

Plenty of local women around if you are willing to look and not hide your head in the sand waiting.

[Trueself]

hmm.. guess i belong to minority.. lol..

No education, no high pay, no look, no figure = left on shelves! :eek:

When u guys said that most guys are highly educated and high flyers.. hmm.. i dun really see a lot of them around me.. sames goes on the gals..

wonder where they are.. :rolleyes:

[suteerak1099]

gals r raised to believe that being educated give them a leverage in hitching a better qualified man of higher stature. somebody who's better off by societies standards etc. that dream bubble was burst, when reality strikes them that their options shrunk to: rich old man, ah-sia kia, galavanting high rollers... etc.

for them to settle for career starters of similiar age range, not many can or r willing accept it. to some of them, they feel that career starters bring home lesser than they do, they don't find the sense of security/stability in them.

while some dun mind going with older man, others who're more liberal naturally go for caucasians & foreign men. their currency against the SGD in itself, sets them on advantage over our local men. so, if the girl prefers foreign hugs n kisses, she's gotta be able to bear the girth too.

[siokan]

nowadays saw alot of local chinese girl marrying indians and caucasians.
Is there any reasons why local chinese girl like ANG MOH besides the joke of them having longer and thicker dick and can satisfied them better.

[hollyboy123]

Hi guyz

I am Eurasian (Euro + Indian). I find that the indian gals that I hav observed and approached are highly demanding. I like to approch indian gals as i find them good compared to Eurasians.

They expect guyz too be more richer, more hardworking, more intelligent, and terrible to say more good looking as well.

How can a guy can fulfill all these expectations. Are we not god's creation?
Each of us are one way or other is blessed.

I am average looking, averge built body guy like a reddish indian. I approached a few gals, and I tried to date them. They expect me to spend lot of money.

When they go out with their family, at most they go Long Johns Silver to hav "their" most expensive for $9.50. When I took some of these gals, they wanted to japanese and Italian cuisine that cost $25 for one person. They like to be in posh restaruants like those in Suntec City.

Iwent shopping centre in the city C H and she pointed to me a cosmetic set, she commented "hey, look, thats awwesome.'" I saw the price, it cost $199.99. OMG, how can I afford this as a young man in late teens.

Another gal I went with, she naively told me "darling, tomorrow is father's birthday, what "we" can do? I asked her back "we" means..
She really showed me bad-looking face. I was really embarrased and felt very terrible to talk too the gal. When we went for a movie "Jodha Akbar" I was passing some comments non the movie, she did not respond and tried to smile.

Next week, I called her to go out, she said " I cannot, bcoz my grandpa is in hospital, undergoing some operation..sth like heart operation" I called her up again to ask how is her granpa now? She only said "ok..ok"
Next week, I called her up again. She said she cannot make as she had to look after her grandpa.

That saturday i went the bar at Eminent Plaza, I saw her with another guy. Terrible gal. One more thing, her grandfather used to be a cricket coach and he is really fit and I was wondering how can he hav heart problem. Actually he was undergoing hydrazine operation. this gal told me he was undergoing heart operation. I am really pissed off.


Last year, I met this sweet, better than average looking endian gal, I was really in love with her.
I really befriended her and got to know her better. I even presented a $249.45 Rado watch to her on her 21st birthday. After a few months, exactly last December, I proposed to her. She said "no.." I was really broken down.

All these while with her, I didnt talk anything indecently. I am not like any other Indian guyz who bring their GF to cheap hotels in GL to make "love" and even expect their own GFs to bring cap and put on his little bro to avoid pregnency."

My heart is in "pain" even now at this very moment I am writing this thread.

The next time I met her, she simply tried to smile just to plz me. What is this?
How terrible these gals are?

In Jan 2008, I first visited Gl for make-up.
The gals in GL are more "nice." They provide "love" just for short time for small price without ant strings/threads attached.

I am really feeling terrible at this moment.

Take care guyz!

[hollyboy123]

Hi guyz

I am an Eurasian guy (European + Endian)

Tell me tell U my story...

[glooper83]

I think when we talk about the girls here, its referring to those with above average looks right? With looks at least 6.5/10 right?

Cos' i think looking around me, those below this 6.5 (subjective) or those below average looks behave slightly better. So i guess as long as Bros are not toooo picky, it is still possible to have a lovely sweet gf/wife.

I find it quite rare to come across a beauty/good looker with good attitude. Usually they know they are in demand and are quite stuck up.

There are still some exceptions, and lucky are the Bros that Bao them... sigh...

[Kyser Soze]

Try harder brother. You will one day get a local girl. Nothing beats a girl born and bred in the same environment as you right, can understand each other better. You also don't want people to say you bought a wife from a village right?? Share your experiences with local girls, what tricks you use etc....
Not buy a village girl, but through normal courtship.;) We have plenty of foreigners working in Singapore.

My experience with local girls? It's rejection after rejection. :D

[Highjoys]

I just have no luck with local girls since young. I wonder why. Despite arming with a degree, a decent profession and an above-average pay, they still probably feel I'm not good enough for them. Or probably they are stuck-up.

I'm no longer getting younger. My friends are having kids as old as Primary 1. Probably one day, I'm joining the "Clan of Foreigner Wives". :D

Well Bro, Singapore girls are "high in value" when they are young and think they can attract the best candidates... but their "depreciation in value" will be very "SHARP" after 30 just like a car after five years. So bro, if u are not into a lady in her 30s or 40s, u better look elsewhere for better ones.. and one more thing is I remember reading the Chinese newspaper about parents who meet at a Matchmaking session for their children... some parents even asked " Your son wan to buy how many room flats? Got car or not? Got a lot of savings or not?" They are so pragmatic to "negotiate" on their daughters' behalf for a better "deal" . So much "market intelligence" so are u going to "buy" or "bid" for them just like they are "antiques" during an auction session? For me, I went back home to sleep is better than attending to such things.. Good gracious

[zircon628]

my 2 cents worth would be that most Singaporean girls already know what to expect. There is absolutely nothing wrong with guys who go for foreign wives, probably with a better financial and social status, they would prefer providing for better girls out there who would deserve it and better still, appreciate what they would be given?

[Trueself]

I think when we talk about the girls here, its referring to those with above average looks right? With looks at least 6.5/10 right?

Cos' i think looking around me, those below this 6.5 (subjective) or those below average looks behave slightly better. So i guess as long as Bros are not toooo picky, it is still possible to have a lovely sweet gf/wife.

I find it quite rare to come across a beauty/good looker with good attitude. Usually they know they are in demand and are quite stuck up.

There are still some exceptions, and lucky are the Bros that Bao them... sigh...

I guess this is so true.. some gals around me.. i would said average looking.. will good interior (nt those under the clothes) are still single and looking for the special one.. and then there's guys complaining no local girls... how irony..

[NokiaUser82]

My experience with local girls? It's rejection after rejection. :D

My twin. I finally found u!!!:D

[Satrai]

I am Indian, holding a master's degree, employed by an international financial institution, earning more than enough money and I look good.
Despite this I must say that I have had much, much more success with Chinese gals compared to Indian gals. I think the Indian gals and their families in general are more arrogant and higher-demanding than Chinese gals. Now I am in a position that I am not interested any more in Indian gals. And some members in my family are not happy with this.

[hollyboy123]

Hi Broz

What to do U think of my situation? Read the story below.

I am in "pain"



Hi guyz

I am Eurasian (Euro + Indian). I find that the indian gals that I hav observed and approached are highly demanding. I like to approch indian gals as i find them good compared to Eurasians.

They expect guyz too be more richer, more hardworking, more intelligent, and terrible to say more good looking as well.

How can a guy can fulfill all these expectations. Are we not god's creation?
Each of us are one way or other is blessed.

I am average looking, averge built body guy like a reddish indian. I approached a few gals, and I tried to date them. They expect me to spend lot of money.

When they go out with their family, at most they go Long Johns Silver to hav "their" most expensive for $9.50. When I took some of these gals, they wanted to japanese and Italian cuisine that cost $25 for one person. They like to be in posh restaruants like those in Suntec City.

Iwent shopping centre in the city C H and she pointed to me a cosmetic set, she commented "hey, look, thats awwesome.'" I saw the price, it cost $199.99. OMG, how can I afford this as a young man in late teens.

Another gal I went with, she naively told me "darling, tomorrow is father's birthday, what "we" can do? I asked her back "we" means..
She really showed me bad-looking face. I was really embarrased and felt very terrible to talk too the gal. When we went for a movie "Jodha Akbar" I was passing some comments non the movie, she did not respond and tried to smile.

Next week, I called her to go out, she said " I cannot, bcoz my grandpa is in hospital, undergoing some operation..sth like heart operation" I called her up again to ask how is her granpa now? She only said "ok..ok"
Next week, I called her up again. She said she cannot make as she had to look after her grandpa.

That saturday i went the bar at Eminent Plaza, I saw her with another guy. Terrible gal. One more thing, her grandfather used to be a cricket coach and he is really fit and I was wondering how can he hav heart problem. Actually he was undergoing hydrazine operation. this gal told me he was undergoing heart operation. I am really pissed off.


Last year, I met this sweet, better than average looking endian gal, I was really in love with her.
I really befriended her and got to know her better. I even presented a $249.45 Rado watch to her on her 21st birthday. After a few months, exactly last December, I proposed to her. She said "no.." I was really broken down.

All these while with her, I didnt talk anything indecently. I am not like any other Enndian guyz who bring their GF to cheap hotels in GL to make "love" and even expect their own GFs to bring cap and put on his little bro to avoid pregnency."

My heart is in "pain" even now at this very moment I am writing this thread.

The next time I met her, she simply tried to smile just to plz me. What is this?
How terrible these gals are?

In Jan 2008, I first visited Gl for make-up.
The gals in GL are more "nice." They provide "love" just for short time for small price without ant strings/threads attached.

I am really feeling terrible at this moment.

Take care guyz!

[suteerak1099]

sg girls having expectation for her ideal man, well, wat's new? all girls of all other nationalities, with a decent functioning brain has expectations of an ideal man too.

some prefer her guy to be everything her dad is, some prefer her guy to be everything her dad isn't, some prefer her guy to be an all-in-1 (a romantic lover, a warrior in bed, a philosopher to teach the kids, a financial manager for domestic financial plans, an athlete to coach the kids, a chef to whip up wicked meals on occassions, a domestic helper to aid in the errands & child nursing...etc)

at the end of the day, these expectations r getting quite absurd. they expect the man to bring home the bacon, at the same time fulfilling almost every chore there is in the overpriced pigeonhole, they demand a maid to relief her domestic duties, while she conveniently kills her free time in self-indulgence - be it high tea, shopping, grooming, spa... and after revitalized, more zest for shopping after.

eventually, what becomes of the man? he's reduced from spouse to slave. before the paper is signed, she says she's willing to accept all the inadequacies, after the ink is on the paper, she flips the table, fuss & dread about everything that u're not/incapable of.

3yrs or less down the rd, the couple pull a long face when they drag their zombified bodies home after work, poor or no sex life at all, both pointing fingers at each other for not fulfilling their portion.... not happy, talk to lawyer file for divorce. she gets alimony!

sometimes, in so many ways, foreign girls seem to be better spouse & mother material.

[hollyboy123]

I am Indian, holding a master's degree, employed by an international financial institution, earning more than enough money and I look good.
Despite this I must say that I have had much, much more success with Chinese gals compared to Indian gals. I think the Indian gals and their families in general are more arrogant and higher-demanding than Chinese gals. Now I am in a position that I am not interested any more in Indian gals. And some members in my family are not happy with this.

I think these en dian gals think that when they hav uni degree, they look for sth big...like banker, IT guy who earn like $6k and plus so that they can drive a Lexus rather than taking bus or having Toyata sth like that. They also want to be in a posh style...
Going to Italian cuisine or French Cuisine, brag about their BF or hubby to their friends... They want live in a condo not like the majority of the population in HDB flats. and so on.

They want to expensive cosmetics so that they cover their dark brown face with make up such that it looks reddis. When they remove the make, its damn clumsy.. U could vomit at the site when they remove the makeups.

They also wear pushup bras just to create envy among guyz.

They expect guyz to pay for their drinks and they buy drinks that cost 6 bucks or just take their date or BF to Starbucks or Coffe Bean. Then they would say her father would take their family to this Coffee bean often. But in reality they just to seran goon road and the 60 cents soya drink and 3 or four people share the drink as though they the drink is scare source and 3 plate of roti prata and 8 people eat.

When guyz take them out they really act like they are royal family and expect guyz to carry their worthless hand bag that they bought in night market for 14 bucks and tell us that bag cost $140 from S E I Yu.

Just wasting money and time looking for these gals.

My point is that they also want to act like westerners. Why should we marry these en di an gals ?

We can simply marry caucasin gals. At least we can get more oppoirtunities and we can be better in life rather than marrying these useless en d ia n gals.

[Kyser Soze]

My twin. I finally found u!!!:D
Hope things are going well for you. My feeling for local girls and their endless rejection can only use one word to describe... NUMB. :D

In any case, I'm looking beyond the 'goods' that are Made in Singapore. There are quality stuff that are Made in Malaysia, Phillipines, Myanmar and China etc. Just look far... :rolleyes:

[hollyboy123]

I agree withsuteerak1099


Sg gals hav lot of expectations especially the en di an gals.

They expect their BF to carry their handbags and make him for some domestic goods they buy even like Whisper napkins.

When they got married, they really pushes their hubby to buy a car so that they can hubby can be their driver to their offices. They organize the wedding ceremony so grand that the groom has to empty his hardearned savings. The gals invite 1000 people and order meal that cost 25 dolars per persom.

Even they buy HDB flats, they decorate with 70k or 80k. what a waste of money.
Then later, nag their hubby to buy condo but this poor guy at the moment can only afford to buy condoms.

They expect their hubby to wake up early so that he can prepere tea or milo
and breakfast so that they can churn out their hunger. When wake up, they dont even smile at their hubby, but give an irritating look that the hubby feel very embarrased to look at her beautiful face that is not covered with makeup.

Even they go take a bath their hubby has to put the towel before she enters the bathroom. Some poor felloows need to iron their wives' office attire.

These poor en di an guys had to rush back to their wives' office to pick her at the right moment. If not some other guyz would be chitchat with her.
Even worse these gals would speak to some other guyz more sweetly than their hubbys.

If their hubby were to ask anything, they simply quarrel with these guyz and take her things and rush back to their parents "palace" even it were to be midnight.

How can a guy face all these nonsense?







sg girls having expectation for her ideal man, well, wat's new? all girls of all other nationalities, with a decent functioning brain has expectations of an ideal man too.

some prefer her guy to be everything her dad is, some prefer her guy to be everything her dad isn't, some prefer her guy to be an all-in-1 (a romantic lover, a warrior in bed, a philosopher to teach the kids, a financial manager for domestic financial plans, an athlete to coach the kids, a chef to whip up wicked meals on occassions, a domestic helper to aid in the errands & child nursing...etc)

at the end of the day, these expectations r getting quite absurd. they expect the man to bring home the bacon, at the same time fulfilling almost every chore there is in the overpriced pigeonhole, they demand a maid to relief her domestic duties, while she conveniently kills her free time in self-indulgence - be it high tea, shopping, grooming, spa... and after revitalized, more zest for shopping after.

eventually, what becomes of the man? he's reduced from spouse to slave. before the paper is signed, she says she's willing to accept all the inadequacies, after the ink is on the paper, she flips the table, fuss & dread about everything that u're not/incapable of.

3yrs or less down the rd, the couple pull a long face when they drag their zombified bodies home after work, poor or no sex life at all, both pointing fingers at each other for not fulfilling their portion.... not happy, talk to lawyer file for divorce. she gets alimony!

sometimes, in so many ways, foreign girls seem to be better spouse & mother material.

[hollyboy123]

Local girls are quite a handful, with their better education levels, they are in a better position to think, to earn money than other girls in the region.

However, i do not think that this is a problem with our girls but more of a problem that is common with industrialised nations. Take a look at our western counterparts and we would soon realise that their women are equally as demanding as ours.

Qualities such as demure, sweet and innocent are harder to find among our locals nowadays. This is one tough aspect of life that i am coming terms to, but it is also the reason why i find bachelorhood enticing at the moment. I do ultimately want to settle down and it would probably be with a local girl. But that would only happen if i can find the right girl.

However, i have heard stories of taiwanese girls, and i prolly wouldnt mind settling for one if we can communicate in english.

All i can say is that, SG's success has come with a price, but it is about time that we guys also change our mindset and move on. ie, see how the ang mohs treat their women.

I agree with his bro..

Local En di an gals wants their husbands to be ang moh.
How can wwe justify this?

[slyer]

imo local girls are quite demanding for material comfort and set very high standards in choosing their bf esp when sg living standard are high...

average guys still stand chances to land a local grad gf/wife if they have a decent career and can support a family

[suteerak1099]

so far, based on the stats, foreign brides r the ones delivering to goods (http://www.sammyboyforum.com/adult-discussions-about-sex/88927-59-babies-were-born-singaporean-parents-last-year.html). sad to say, out local ladies still have plenty of room for improvement.

[Satrai]

It is a striking fact that more and more local women are keeping dogs.:):):)

[NokiaUser82]

Hope things are going well for you. My feeling for local girls and their endless rejection can only use one word to describe... NUMB. :D

Erm my side oso not so good la bro. Hope ur search for foreign affairs is good.:D

I agree with his bro..

Local En di an gals wants their husbands to be ang moh.
How can wwe justify this?

eH bro thought is most girls hoping for an ang moh husband? nowadays very hard to find a girl who wants local guys.:(

[PepeReina]

i also see alot of couple within the same Uni leh but in the end they will get marry anot? Most guys i think want their wife to be lower educated than them (got feeling of superior) imagine ur wife earning more than you :eek:

The start off may be the guy earning more. But who know 10 years down the road, the wife got promoted and now earned more? You want to divorce then or ask your wife's boss to cut her pay?:cool:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Now I am in a position that I am not interested any more in Indian gals. And some members in my family are not happy with this.

I understand your plight bro.
I once had a sikh friend who's always very popular wif the chinese chicks.
In the end, got married to one and got disowned by his family, from parents to siblings............even to date, all refuse to even recognise the children!!!!!!
But on another note, he married a good chinese wife.

[suteerak1099]

...... Now I am in a position that I am not interested any more in Indian gals. And some members in my family are not happy with this. ever thought about killing 2 birds w 1 stone?.... go marry an India born & raised girl who's more level headed, more pragmatic, n hopefully knows her position in the house that the man is paying for. surely your folks would be beaming with joy.

n if she tries to play punk n tries to show u who's the boss, u can threaten her with tradition, that u're gonna burn her alive. hehehe... kidding.

[cunt_search]

girls all nationalities are still girl
with CB some mo golden den the others...:D

from my observation, got a lot of ah bengs with no deep pocket still got gal fren
and some so so looking guy got pretty gal fren

Go read Men from Mars, Women from Venus
always use emotion to talk to girls and if u sweet talk them, got good chance to get them...
easier said den done tho, scientifically thats the theory, but society and upbringing oso influence
in sillipore, $ cannot be overlook with the constant inflation, jus look at the so called "SUBSIDISED MY FOOT" HDB
where got $1/2 million for HDB... there is somthing seriously wrong, but the IC seem transparent about the issue...sorry abit out of topic...

[slyer]

Erm my side oso not so good la bro. Hope ur search for foreign affairs is good.:D



eH bro thought is most girls hoping for an ang moh husband? nowadays very hard to find a girl who wants local guys.:(


sg girls go for ang moh guys. and we have to look for foreign brides. foriegn girls are much better than sg girls nowadays and looks like i also have to go overseas look for an ideal bride in years to come

[Kyser Soze]

sg girls go for ang moh guys. and we have to look for foreign brides. foriegn girls are much better than sg girls nowadays and looks like i also have to go overseas look for an ideal bride in years to come
Local girls are meant for Ang Mohs.
Foreign brides are meant for local guys like us. :D

[iPhone]

hear more storys of bad ft women than sg women :confused:

[_AXL_]

hear more storys of bad ft women than sg women

think u need to get out more. a banker friend of mine just told me that his wife wants a divorce, cos he was asked to leave his job. no money, no honey applies to girls of all nationalities.

but 1 funny thing about the missing SG women. i too had trouble finding good and available SG women in the past. but recently, i keep running into them and they seemed to be throwing themselves at me (not big cannon or haolian). confided with my close guy friend and he told me it happened to him too, not long after he got married and had his 1st kid (i got married and just got my 1st kid). so we surmised that it must be our "happiness glow"...:D

when we take ourselves off the market, they appear. ironic, ya?;)

[CokeAddict]

I'm just being general, but this is how i feel about most local girls.

Girls with looks and brains(cream of the crop) - You need $$$ & Car & looks, or at least 2 of these qualities, or turn caucasian.

Girls with looks only / Girls with brains only - You must have least 1 of the above desired qualities or average in all.

Average girls and below - Free for all. Yes, you can still get them without those 3 qualities.

Conclusion? If you can't get Cream of the Crop girls, then lower your expectations.... You might be happier that way.

Goodluck my friend!

[hollyboy123]

Haha...


What to do?

[suteerak1099]

ironic it may seem bt human all have expectations no matter great of small. marriage is for a life-time, so if u're gonna have to settle for some1 with whom u intend to spend eternity with... no harm in being a little particular & wight more attention to detail.

i've heard & learnt from frens married that they dread going home to face the nagging wife, who never ceases to compare his flaws against other's merits. while she forgets to compare his merits against other's flaws. woman tend to be less rational, n they never seem to know wat is comparing apple to apple.

in reality, nobody's/nothing's perfect, but for a long term commitment, 1 needs to know the meaning of contentment.

eg: if affording a car is gonna engulf your commitment for 5yrs or more till COE expires, would u be willing to settle for something u really driving around in, or something u dread travelling around in?

if not, would u prefer rental? public transport?

if affording a home is gonna deprive u of other pleasures for the next 20yrs or more, would u be willing to settle for something that u really enjoy living in, or dread every waking & sleeping moment living in it?

if not, would u prefer rental? time share?

i guess the same sentiments apply when choosing a partner/spouse too.

[Ange|Boy]

Hi Bros, just wanna add my thoughts.

I have many gfs in the past, majority SGs, I always feel that they sucks, really demanding. Sometimes I will ask myself why am I choosing a gf that is so bad tempered but after checking with my friends, I then realised their sg gfs are all like that. All tell me no choice, have to give in.

Now I am happily attached to a chongqing gf, quick temper but I find her bearable after my line of sg gfs. Bonus she used to spicy food, can cook and take care of me. Looks wise also very pretty and she is smart too. Never spent a single cent on clothes or funny funny things that sg gf will want you to buy like stuff toys.

what more can I ask..... dun dare to change liao, scared change for the worse...

haha

[jaynick]

when we take ourselves off the market, they appear. ironic, ya?;)

True bro. It happens to me too

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Its a better bet to land yourself a local gal as a wife than a foreign one.
Its better to land yourself a foreign gal to be a toy or lover than a wife!

If u apply the above, you'll be safe...turn it around, good luck!

[tabbilicious]

given a girl with looks and brains and a girl with brains without looks. i believe all of you will pick the first one. however, girl with brains and looks can demand for things. and guys, for the sake of making her stay, will have to proceed with their requests and bear with their temper.

so. it's not local girls who are demanding. is how you pick them. if cannot bear with it, lower your expectations. because it is really hard to kill 2 birds with a stone

[_AXL_]

True bro. It happens to me too

bro, it could also be the attraction of the wedding band u have on... or that having a baby means u r virile, and thus desirable!!! kekeke... but beware, ya? u r already off the shelf...:D cheers.

Its a better bet to land yourself a local gal as a wife than a foreign one.
Its better to land yourself a foreign gal to be a toy or lover than a wife!

If u apply the above, you'll be safe...turn it around, good luck!

bro, does that mean that your 4th "wife" (yr avatar, yr pain in the ass) is not local??? hmm... weird, cos i know of a sillyporean who looks a lot like her.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

bro, does that mean that your 4th "wife" (yr avatar, yr pain in the ass) is not local??? hmm... weird, cos i know of a sillyporean who looks a lot like her.

Yup, she aint local!

[Hulunbeier]

Hi all

words of wisdom I wanna tell my son...he is of sperm producing age but is a minor.

Love the gal, not love her talents. Because talents can outstrip talents.

If he cannot find a local gal...I will not ask him to find in southern coast of China, Fujian example...will tell him to look more North..not even Harbin....Inner Mongolia is the destination. Good natural environment, so good breed. Gals with natural brown eyes, brown hairs! No need to dye or wear contact lens.

Due to the long distance to reach home, gals will not always wanna go home due to the comfort Singapore offer. Once reach Changi, 45 mins u can reach Tuas.

Local gals of this age....of course I have seen many Garang ones. But Ah Boy Boy maybe also dun like materialistic so maybe will not choose local SG. Anyway it is up to him what Nationality he want to choose...I hope PRC...ha ha.

[lacoruna69]

Yes, I'm one of those few who never had a chance to pak tor with a local gal. In fact I never pak tor with gals before. My virginity was lost to an FL in KL.:o

Sometimes it is really fate lah. I see a lot of my friends get married also go outside "makan". Reason is wife never give. Could be due to work or in most cases, after childbirth.
Some end up filing for divorce after married for a few years. Both parties are well educated with good careers. Really "lang cai nu mao".
Some married foreign PRC brides, in the end, have to support the brides entire family also. A few worst cases see them kenna conned. PRC wives filing for divorce after getting citizenship, ran off with $,....blah blah blah.

Thinking about it, being single not so bad also. :D

[glooper83]

in reality, nobody's/nothing's perfect, but for a long term commitment, 1 needs to know the meaning of contentment.



i agree with the above. And both parties must understand this rule, to be contended. Its also pretty similar to managing each other's expectations.

However, girls nowadays are both impractical/ideological and yet want the best of everything.

My recent ex-gf told me this, "In a relationship, we never should have to tolerate each other. It should nt be like this.. "

Anyway, i do not blame her, it is her first relationship, and she has the 'perfect' idea of hw a relationship should be like. It should be love love love all the way. This coming from quite an intelligent girl.. tsk.. i totally gave up on her.

[suteerak1099]

... My recent ex-gf told me this, "In a relationship, we never should have to tolerate each other. It should nt be like this.. "

Anyway, i do not blame her, it is her first relationship, and she has the 'perfect' idea of hw a relationship should be like. It should be love love love all the way. This coming from quite an intelligent girl.. tsk.. i totally gave up on her. rule of thumb, gals r emotional beings, they use more heart than brains. hence explaning their demands less often rational. the thorough-bred chicks here aren't at all angels, but is a mere deception that they've received good upbringing. in reality, they grew up sheltered from all the weather beatings, the simple or extravagant pleasures in life often easily achieved, by opening their mouths to the doting & accomodating folks.

when reality bites, that they're to earn & acheive their wants, when their man can strictly (some cases barely can) provide for their needs, the woman is disgrunted, she feels she's not loved enough. insecurity & discontentment kicks in, and the fuel to the fire is piped by the gallons. leads to high octane conflicts at home, in less than a calendar yr, papers for divorce spread nicely on the table.

conversely, we seldom see such problems surfacing in cases where the girl comes from a humble upbringing, where lavish expenditure comes by not just once in a blue moon, but perhaps lunar/solar eclipse or a leap yr. they're more pragmatic, rational & down to earth. such traits we find with ease, largely in women from foreign lands.

as for your point about her setting benchmarks based on past relationship is not unheard of. but they forget to push the reset button when the past becomes past. while in the case of foreign babes, they're more realistic, they snap out of the hallucination, goes back to reality, and seldom puts the same level of expectation on the new relationship.

[fishball]

rule of thumb, gals r emotional beings, they use more heart than brains. hence explaning their demands less often rational. the thorough-bred chicks here aren't at all angels, but is a mere deception that they've received good upbringing. in reality, they grew up sheltered from all the weather beatings, the simple or extravagant pleasures in life often easily achieved, by opening their mouths to the doting & accomodating folks.

when reality bites, that they're to earn & acheive their wants, when their man can strictly (some cases barely can) provide for their needs, the woman is disgrunted, she feels she's not loved enough. insecurity & discontentment kicks in, and the fuel to the fire is piped by the gallons. leads to high octane conflicts at home, in less than a calendar yr, papers for divorce spread nicely on the table.

conversely, we seldom see such problems surfacing in cases where the girl comes from a humble upbringing, where lavish expenditure comes by not just once in a blue moon, but perhaps lunar/solar eclipse or a leap yr. they're more pragmatic, rational & down to earth. such traits we find with ease, largely in women from foreign lands.

as for your point about her setting benchmarks based on past relationship is not unheard of. but they forget to push the reset button when the past becomes past. while in the case of foreign babes, they're more realistic, they snap out of the hallucination, goes back to reality, and seldom puts the same level of expectation on the new relationship.

Clap~ Clap~ Clap~ Well Said!

[Fatjumbo]

Its a better bet to land yourself a local gal as a wife than a foreign one.
Its better to land yourself a foreign gal to be a toy or lover than a wife!

If u apply the above, you'll be safe...turn it around, good luck!

Power quote from the guru....Salute from me.

:D

[suteerak1099]

Clap~ Clap~ Clap~ Well Said! thanks for the compliments. just some observation that i've noticed & learnt..... n in the process or learning still. :p

[old_yet_horny]

We guys made our own choice who we want to be with...

If any bros here find their Sg GF sucks big time (as in bad character not suck ur cock until CIM), just have to dump her and move on...

The same applies to those bros who got KC by lousy foriegn GFs...and is getting abused by their nonsense...

End of the day, our marriage and happiness is ultimately determined by us...

I have enough experience with local gals... i will not styreotype our own local product nor will I condemn foreign gals... Bad apples are everywhere but its us who choose which apple we wanna buy..

[Steadyman1]

Some end up filing for divorce after married for a few years. Both parties are well educated with good careers. Really "lang cai nu mao".
Some married foreign PRC brides, in the end, have to support the brides entire family also. A few worst cases see them kenna conned. PRC wives filing for divorce after getting citizenship, ran off with $,....blah blah blah.

Thinking about it, being single not so bad also. :D

Definitely single is the best to cheong around however when reaches 50 years of age and start thinking back, you won't mind bearing the burden and restriction (less cheonging).

Everything there is a risk and if ones know the risk is higher then don't get involve or try. As what you have quoted marrying PRC brides.
All this are "Eng Guo". How much ones can eat, ones can live are all fated.

[Atom Bomb]

If any bros here find their Sg GF sucks big time (as in bad character not suck ur cock until CIM), ..

I like this statment ! Cheers :D

[White Tiger]

sighzzz.... wished I did not marry so early.

now wanna cheong also very limited.

but marriage got its perks as well la

[Charmaine]

I'm 31 years old, have had countless experiences with local girls, dated 5 of them in serious relationships and almost married one of them. I am now happily engaged to a Thai national who used to work in a nightclub, but it's been the sweetest and most amazing relationship I've had since birth. I'm a degree holder from a local University, currently employed as a Marketing Manager in a UK-based MNC, and hold down (in my own personal opinion anyway) a respectable salary of approximately S$55,000 per annum.

But yes, I've made my choice. I'm in a serious relationship with a Thai and enjoying every minute of it. I've had horrible relationships with Singaporean females until I discovered Thai women. I'm not ashamed to shout this out loud no matter what people may say or think. The stereotypical "must be cannot get Singapore girl so need to get Thai girl.." does not bother me. As a matter of fact, I'm actually looking forward to having kids with her - chances are, mixed-blood offsprings (in this case Thai-Chinese) are normally more physically attractive and that's the least I can do for my future child.

Maybe it just works for me - I've been brought up the traditional way by my parents where my father would work his way through the night while his children toiled on their schoolbooks. My mum simply did everything else - she washed all the clothes, whipped up all of our meals, played aunt agony to her children's problems, boiled chicken herbal soup during her kids' exams and everything else you could ever have hoped for. After living my entire life dating Singapore women, I have yet to find one with traditional virtues like my mum. The closest I've come to were my Malaysian colleagues who still valued historical responsibilities of the female in the home. I've not had much luck with the others.

At the risk of sounding too stereotypical, Singapore women are


- overly concerned about material well-being and too negligent about personal/family happiness
- overly full of themselves and desire gender equality with scant regard or respect for traditional values
- too spoilt and demanding, at times bordering on the ridiculous (refusing to carry her own bag when it becomes too heavy; refusing to take a step out in the rain if her boyfriend forgot to bring along an umbrella)

The biggest issue here isn't of their attitude; it's ours. Let's put things into perspective - we know Singaporean girls are a fucked up lot, but we still see too many men bowing to their every whim and fancy. I see Singapore men doing this all the time, and I'm sure I'm not generalising - we carry their bags for them, wait an hour for them to go to the bathroom at the mall without being allowed to get angry, pay for everything and expect nothing in return, always be the first to apologise during an argument, and shower them with branded goods, clothes, shoes and bags with a smile. Of course I would be thrilled if I were a woman living here - no matter what I did I would still be extolled. Life is good for me. Why should I stop being the whiny, stuck-up bitch that I know I am when I can get away with it all of the time?

It's not their fault. It's ours. The world is your oyster and there must be at least a hundred other nationalities for us to choose from, but most of us just cower in our own shell and leave it to fate to work out the rest.

Of all the girlfriends I've had in the past, my present Thai one showers me with the most love, expects the least from me (both emotionally and financially), has the smallest temper, is the hottest by a country mile, and if you must know, performs the best in bed. On the contrary, my five previous Singapore girlfriends have either been overly demanding, unreasonable, takes the most and gives back the least, terrible in bed, or all of the above. You form your own conclusions to that. Maybe I've just been unlucky to meet all the wrong local ones, but a 100% failure rate for me does mean the probability of someone else getting a decent Singapore girl who doesn't think she's the best thing since sliced bread will be agonisingly low as well.

My call to all Singapore men who are currently single and looking - venture. Show them who's boss. We are not a lost lot - we have options. Send them clear signals that if they're not going to change their bitchy, unreasonable, overly demanding and material ways, nobody is ever going to want them - only fat, old, balding farangs if they're lucky. Like I said, don't blame the girls - blame ourselves. Bend over backwards and they'll shit all over your faces. If every Singapore men had their way, all of us would either end up with a Taiwanese, Japanese or Korean chick any time of the day - who would still look at heavily made-up, gothic mascara-laden, fake eyelash-plastered local faces? The only problem is, many of us don't get to meet non-local girls all the time, so we become lazy and resort to scouting around rather aimlessly in our own backyard in an attempt to, let's face it, find the least fucked up one as opposed to discovering the best one.

There is no excuse for not laying the necessary foundation to your own future. Don't settle for second-best - as local girls clearly are.

Even if my current relationship didn't work out, I would never consider a Singapore woman as a spouse again. They have nothing but expect everything, and that type of deal just doesn't sound like something I'd be interested in.

[glooper83]

I'm 31 years old, have had countless experiences with local girls, dated 5 of them in serious relationships and almost married one of them. I am now happily engaged to a Thai national who used to work in a nightclub, but it's been the sweetest and most amazing relationship I've had since birth. I'm a degree holder from a local University, currently employed as a Marketing Manager in a UK-based MNC, and hold down (in my own personal opinion anyway) a respectable salary of approximately S$55,000 per annum.

But yes, I've made my choice. I'm in a serious relationship with a Thai and enjoying every minute of it. I've had horrible relationships with Singaporean females until I discovered Thai women. I'm not ashamed to shout this out loud no matter what people may say or think. The stereotypical "must be cannot get Singapore girl so need to get Thai girl.." does not bother me. As a matter of fact, I'm actually looking forward to having kids with her - chances are, mixed-blood offsprings (in this case Thai-Chinese) are normally more physically attractive and that's the least I can do for my future child.

Maybe it just works for me - I've been brought up the traditional way by my parents where my father would work his way through the night while his children toiled on their schoolbooks. My mum simply did everything else - she washed all the clothes, whipped up all of our meals, played aunt agony to her children's problems, boiled chicken herbal soup during her kids' exams and everything else you could ever have hoped for. After living my entire life dating Singapore women, I have yet to find one with traditional virtues like my mum. The closest I've come to were my Malaysian colleagues who still valued historical responsibilities of the female in the home. I've not had much luck with the others.

At the risk of sounding too stereotypical, Singapore women are


- overly concerned about material well-being and too negligent about personal/family happiness
- overly full of themselves and desire gender equality with scant regard or respect for traditional values
- too spoilt and demanding, at times bordering on the ridiculous (refusing to carry her own bag when it becomes too heavy; refusing to take a step out in the rain if her boyfriend forgot to bring along an umbrella)

The biggest issue here isn't of their attitude; it's ours. Let's put things into perspective - we know Singaporean girls are a fucked up lot, but we still see too many men bowing to their every whim and fancy. I see Singapore men doing this all the time, and I'm sure I'm not generalising - we carry their bags for them, wait an hour for them to go to the bathroom at the mall without being allowed to get angry, pay for everything and expect nothing in return, always be the first to apologise during an argument, and shower them with branded goods, clothes, shoes and bags with a smile. Of course I would be thrilled if I were a woman living here - no matter what I did I would still be extolled. Life is good for me. Why should I stop being the whiny, stuck-up bitch that I know I am when I can get away with it all of the time?

It's not their fault. It's ours. The world is huge and there must be at least a hundred other nationalities for us to choose from, but most of us just cower in our own shell and leave it to fate to work out the rest.

Of all the girlfriends I've had in the past, my present Thai one showers me with the most love, expects the least from me (both emotionally and financially), has the smallest temper, is the hottest by a country mile, and if you must know, performs the best in bed. On contrary, my 4 previous Singapore girlfriends have either been overly demanding, unreasonable, takes thr most and gives back the least, terrible in bed, or all of the above. You form your own conclusions to that.

My call to all Singapore men who are currently single and looking - venture. Show them who's boss. We are not a lost lot - we have options. Send them clear signals that if they're not going to change their bitchy, unreasonable, overly demanding and material ways, nobody is ever going to want them - only fat, old, balding farangs if they're lucky. Like I said, don't blame the girls - blame ourselves. Bend over backwards and they'll shit all over your faces. If every Singapore men had their way, all of us would either end up with a Taiwanese, Japanese or Korean chick any time of the day - who would still look at heavily made-up, gothic mascara-laden, fake eyelash-plastered local faces? The only problem is, many of us don't get to meet these girls all the time, so we become lazy and resort to scouting around rather aimlessly in our own backyard.

Even if my current relationship didn't work out, I would never consider a Singapore woman as a spouse again. They have nothing but expect everything, and that type of deal just doesn't sound like something I'd be interested in.

Nicely written, I agree with especially the words in bold but its a little overly stereotyping the Local gals. Plus the fact that we are moving on within the 21st century, i think it would be good to tone down a little on the macho side of guys. I wouldnt say that we should not help them carry their bags etc, i am going along the line of mutual respect. In the past, women were subjected to much abuses and were not shown basic respect. I think that in this age, gender equality is important yet each gender must still perform their rightful duties, you cant expect men to give birth right. So women should act like women and men act like gentlemen, give each other space, understanding, reasonable expectations, respect and hopefully love.

I cant stand it when women demand to be treated like men, and yet want to preserve their feminine side as well. They may as well have their cake and eat it.

[Kittenish]

Nicely written, I agree with especially the words in bold but its a little overly stereotyping the Local gals. Plus the fact that we are moving on within the 21st century, i think it would be good to tone down a little on the macho side of guys. I wouldnt say that we should not help them carry their bags etc, i am going along the line of mutual respect. In the past, women were subjected to much abuses and were not shown basic respect. I think that in this age, gender equality is important yet each gender must still perform their rightful duties, you cant expect men to give birth right. So women should act like women and men act like gentlemen, give each other space, understanding, reasonable expectations, respect and hopefully love.

I cant stand it when women demand to be treated like men, and yet want to preserve their feminine side as well. They may as well have their cake and eat it.

Nicely said, a little old-school and patriarchal, but it might work very well for many people.

As a side-note, as a female, I don't agree that bfs should carry their gfs handbags, it makes them both look bad..:mad:

As for the won't step in the rain w/out an umbrella, I have to say truthfully that if I am carrying an expensive handbag, there is NO WAY I'd step in the rain w/out an umbrella.:o

[HCKing]

Even if my current relationship didn't work out, I would never consider a Singapore woman as a spouse again. They have nothing but expect everything, and that type of deal just doesn't sound like something I'd be interested in.

wat u said is true. it takes 2 hands to clap. for a tigress there is always a pussy pleaser ready to suck up to her anytime. which is y nwadays u often see the tigress type of gf walking on the street with her head up and her pathetic loser bf tagging behind like a follower,(跟班) hands full of ladies handbag, shopping bags and umbrealla etc.
there r actually still alot of nice gfe type of sg girls around lah just that sg guys r mostly interested in chasing chio sexy and happening girls, willing to go all out to win them, even at the expense of their pride. i have encountered many guys who rather go 4 chio and sexy girls and hoping they will 'change' their bad attitudes with their 'love' than going steady with those who r nice but arent chio and sexy.

it's good to read that u have picked the ideal type of girl as yr wife, and as wat the late mr deng frm prc land had said ' no matter black cat or white cat, as long as can catch mouse is a good cat' so similarly in yr case no matter is local or non local girl as long as she can be a good wife is a good girl.:D

[glooper83]

wat u said is true. it takes 2 hands to clap. for a tigress there is always a pussy pleaser ready to suck up to her anytime. which is y nwadays u often see the tigress type of gf walking on the street with her head up and her pathetic loser bf tagging behind like a follower,(跟班) hands full of ladies handbag, shopping bags and umbrealla etc.

there r actually still alot of nice gfe type of sg girls around lah just that sg guys r mostly interested in chasing chio sexy and happening girls, willing to go all out to win them, even at the expense of their pride. i have encountered many guys who rather go 4 chio and sexy girls and hoping they will 'change' their bad attitudes with their 'love' than going steady with those who r nice but arent chio and sexy.

it's good to read that u have picked the ideal type of girl as yr wife, and as wat the late mr deng frm prc land had said ' no matter black cat or white cat, as long as can catch mouse is a good cat' so similarly in yr case no matter is local or non local girl as long as she can be a good wife is a good girl.:D

Help u summarise =)

1.) Takes two hands to clap. Not only the guy, or gal.
2.) There are still many nice local girls out there, except they are usually not as sexy or good looking.
3.) Local or non local, good wife = good girl.

Basically from point 2, it can be seen that as guys we are also slightly demanding, we want sexy hot babes as our gfs and still want them to be as tender loving. Prolly, if we are able to lower our expectations in the looks dept, we can get nice gfs too. Worst come to worse, pay for plastic surgery.. :o

[Darkstorm]

I am Indian, holding a master's degree, employed by an international financial institution, earning more than enough money and I look good.
Despite this I must say that I have had much, much more success with Chinese gals compared to Indian gals. I think the Indian gals and their families in general are more arrogant and higher-demanding than Chinese gals. Now I am in a position that I am not interested any more in Indian gals. And some members in my family are not happy with this.

Thanks for sharing your post.

Just out of curiosity, why are your reputation points negative?

[Darkstorm]

Hope things are going well for you. My feeling for local girls and their endless rejection can only use one word to describe... NUMB. :D

In any case, I'm looking beyond the 'goods' that are Made in Singapore. There are quality stuff that are Made in Malaysia, Phillipines, Myanmar and China etc. Just look far... :rolleyes:

Smart guy. You will go far :)

[Glock]

bro, agree with u 100%




At the risk of sounding too stereotypical, Singapore women are

- overly concerned about material well-being and too negligent about personal/family happiness
- overly full of themselves and desire gender equality with scant regard or respect for traditional values
- too spoilt and demanding, at times bordering on the ridiculous (refusing to carry her own bag when it becomes too heavy; refusing to take a step out in the rain if her boyfriend forgot to bring along an umbrella)



you left out "dreaming about ang mo"

seriously ah, singapore got fucking problem, even the local TV show, the "happy ending" is the woman marry an angmoh

WTF??????

[Glock]

see the tigress type of gf walking on the street with her head up and her pathetic loser bf tagging behind like a follower,(跟班) hands full of ladies handbag, shopping bags and umbrealla etc.
there r actually still alot of nice gfe type of sg girls around lah just that sg

correct!!!! the important is to DO IT ONLY FOR THE GIRLS WHO R WORTH IT. carry bag, umbrella - all is OK if the girl deserve it

otherwise just stupid + spoil market

[HCKing]

correct!!!! the important is to DO IT ONLY FOR THE GIRLS WHO R WORTH IT. carry bag, umbrella - all is OK if the girl deserve it

otherwise just stupid + spoil market

yes bro, no point sucking up to the wrong girl who wont give a damn no matter hw good the guy treats her. nwadays the market trend is a girl will dump her bf without hesitation when she meets a 'better' guy. their definition of a 'better' guy is guys who r handsome, manly, rich, drive and willing to spend alot of $ on them + ang mo. i have seen girls dumping their submissive follower bfs for such guys, some even willing to be these guys lovers and FB.:eek:
to me, beside doing all these for the girls who deserve them i will also only spend $ on those who deserve them ( WL aside ). where gt shiok to spend $ on the girl, follow her wherever she goes, carry all things 4 her but end up seeing her sucking up to other guys, telling u ' u lousy, they good' :rolleyes:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I'm married, this year will be 14yrs to my wife who is local.
Why i say you can still find this type???? Cos I married one......or shud i say 2
You reap what you sow...if you find someone ambitious and material minded, dun expect a downgrade.
My 1st wife is a grad from a Oz Uni and majors in Finance and Econs.
my second is a grad from a canadian uni who majors in biz admin and accounts.

When i 1st started out on my own, in terms of career, i had many ups and downs...nearly went bankrupt twice............
They were always there for me...always supportive......mind you, after we got married, she became a homemaker after our 1st and only kid was born in 2000....we were married in 1995 FYI.
1st time i nearly went broke, she was working, which led her to get credit lines as well as borrow as much money as she can from my in-laws, friends and her relatives..........
Second time, same shit but she was already a homemaker & bcos of that, she went back to the workforce again.....after several years break and again, borrowed money from credit lines and friends and relatives..........

Of cos, now all debts settled, she's a homemaker again and happily being empress dowager being in control of the entire household matters.....

Never one time did she bitch to me about failure......as career is at risk, i've had my times of tears and fear.....she was always there to encourage me and never a hint of wanting to leave........or she married a looser failure wat so ever.............oh forgot to mention, she pawned her jewelry etc too

Now why do i wanna post this, because she's a singaporean.......so wats wrong wif locals?
Choose your spouse wisely, remember, a wife is someone who can sacrifice her life for you...a wife will never let you fall, a wife will always take care of you when you're ill or down..............

When i met her, even being a grad from oz, she was always simple, oldest daughter in the family, never into branded stuff...even now, a towkay nio...still so simple......

The moral of my post...if you find someone materialistic, it means she's driven by that.....they can upgrade but wont downgrade.........99.99% accurate!

There're good and bad eggs everywhere...just whether you pick the correct ones only! But if you're taste are always leading to sad ending based on countless relationships...then i suggest you point your finger inwards...cos no one can be so SUAY so many times in a row...prolly your liking all falls into that category!
Last but not least....老婆我永远爱你！
This story is applicable to my 1st and second wife who will clock 13years in 2009 who all happen to be locals!

[HCKing]

Help u summarise =)

1.) Takes two hands to clap. Not only the guy, or gal.
2.) There are still many nice local girls out there, except they are usually not as sexy or good looking.
3.) Local or non local, good wife = good girl.

Basically from point 2, it can be seen that as guys we are also slightly demanding, we want sexy hot babes as our gfs and still want them to be as tender loving. Prolly, if we are able to lower our expectations in the looks dept, we can get nice gfs too. Worst come to worse, pay for plastic surgery.. :o

thanks 4 ya helping hand bro, yes as wat u said some guys want the best of everything, frm looks to figure to character to gfe etc where gt easy to find sia. same goes 4 girls alot r also looking 4 the perfect bf. my take is yes, there r still such ideal ppl around but maybe only 1 - 2 % out there and think they r also most likely taken liao.

which is y i think this is one of the reason y many sg guys are looking 4 non local girls as wife and gf as the pie is bigger, you can find plenty of such ideal girls overseas who never give fark face to guys when they ask for a date. slowly it will end up in a weird phenomenum whereby u will see common sights of local guys busy dating non local girls and our local girls busy dating ang mo.:p

[HCKing]

yes bro, no point sucking up to the wrong girl who wont give a damn no matter hw good the guy treats her. nwadays the market trend is a girl will dump her bf without hesitation when she meets a 'better' guy. their definition of a 'better' guy is guys who r handsome, manly, rich, drive and willing to spend alot of $ on them + ang mo. i have seen girls dumping their submissive follower bfs for such guys, some even willing to be these guys lovers and FB.:eek:
to me, beside doing all these for the girls who deserve them i will also only spend $ on those who deserve them ( WL aside ). where gt shiok to spend $ on the girl, follow her wherever she goes, carry all things 4 her but end up seeing her sucking up to other guys, telling u ' u lousy, they good' :rolleyes:

tio zapped 3 pts after making this posting, most prob for the statement highlighted above. :D

to the unknown zapper: the truth hurts, isnt it?:p

[Charmaine]

For me at least, traditional values must always hold true. We can be in the 21st century, respect a woman's desire to be treated equally like a man, cheer and applaud when females start burning their bras and demand certain rights - but a couple of things will always stay true. Having someone who is physically attractive, an amazing figure and a temptress in bed are all bonuses - these things fade, but her opinion and stance on her primary role in the core of the family will never change.

The man is the provider of the family, the woman the pillar of his support.

Even in developed countries in Europe and North America, these rules of engagement are loosely followed, or at the very least, respected. Singapore women get exposed to certain Western ideas over time, warped them according to what they think will work best for them and have tried to make a sweet deal out of it - I'm a woman, I expected to be treated like a woman, but I want to be accorded certain privileges traditionally attached to a man too. Now I've never heard a man demand to be treated like a female, so that's clearly double standards.

Love and commitment is very much about respect. Of course I've seen countless examples of happy local couples getting married and living life as good as it gets, but the trend of local men increasingly going for foreign women (and local women increasingly marrying foreign men) cannot be ignored. I've not even mentioned the spiraling divorce rates seen in this country over the last couple of years, and it won't be surprising to find out that it's the "Made in Singapore" families that are the ones being affected the most.

Some forummers have talked about lowering standards and "downgrading" - in my opinion it's not about that. I don't think I'm alone in stating that local girls with "average" market values have had perceptions of themselves distorted over time and that should be a worrying trend. Everyone wants to be regarded as the higher echelon on the desirability scale, so they resort to pretending they're already there. How many times have you seen local women with average income level and modest education putting on wayang-like make-up, wearing Chanel underwear and carrying expensive clothes trying to pass off as a high-society individual? Their behavior reflects that desire and the pretentious nature of this sexual politics game is what turns me off the most. If you're not well to do, average looking and not terribly intellectual to begin with, don't lead your life trying to pretend like you're one and spend your lives looking for a suitable partner to "elevate" your make-believe status. How many times have you seen an "average" local lady behaving like a total jerk-off in front of their boyfriends or at dates? Probably too many.

I guess all I had wanted to say is - stop pretending like you're the best thing since sliced bread and there might actually be happy endings and light at the end of the tunnel. Trying to emulate the life of Princess Diana when you're overweight and acne-infested just doesn't sound like you're doing yourself any favours. Behave like the woman you are and we might actually look at you again.

[HCKing]

I guess all I had wanted to say is - stop pretending like you're the best thing since sliced bread and there might actually be happy endings and light at the end of the tunnel. Trying to emulate the life of Princess Diana when you're overweight and acne-infested just doesn't sound like you're doing yourself any favours. Behave like the woman you are and we might actually look at you again.

sg girls r used to being por by guys, whenever one put on a new make up or do a new hair-do or wear a new dress the standard comment frm guys will be ' wow so chio! ' as time passes the demand for the newest designer bags, newest hair-do, latest fashion mags will increase, as the girls have learnt something: 'guys r the same, as long as u look chio on the outside u will not be short of guys going ga-ga over you.'
so i think somehow it's also concerned with wat the guys r looking 4 in a relationship generally. if most guys r looking 4 a gf who is good in cooking and r willing to make the same effort to win such girls i am sure many girls will start lining up for cooking lessons.:D

[DO_I_BJ]

i believe this phenomenon of girls bring materialistic etc is everywhere. But its more common in singapore, hongkong.. developed countries. Eeverybody has a right to choose their way and their thinking of how to live and choose their partner. If it differs from us so be it and move on. It might be a sad fact to us but its still a fact. We will continue to make options that benefit us or maybe hurt us. Life still goes on. Whether locals girls fucked up or not or this country's girls are better doesn't matter. What matters is that we make decisions that benefit us for life. They are always option 1 , 2 and 3. if option 1 is bad. we don't go around fucking option 1 instead we choose either option 2 or 3 and move on. We are already in a stressful state. We don't need anymore unnecessary stress by complainin and complainin about how fucking bad this or that is. Instead we choose better options and reduce the unecessary problems that might add on later. But what the fuck. 男人都是凡贱的。 好的不要。 不好的偏偏要。

[colins]

Wow this thread is deeeep....

I think we can discuss materialistics, we can talk about looks n boobs, we can complain about being made uxorious, at the end of the day, the basic and probably the most influential element is how much you like the girl, which determined how badly you want her and how much you are willing to sacrifice to have her in your life. Of cos, that only occurs before you got her and also during the times when you feel threatened that you might lose her.

The recent lesson taught me something which I believe to be very crucial during the early stage of a possible relationship, like the first couple of days after your meet the girl. Never like the girl until you fall head over heels over her. In fact if you can, stop yourself from liking anybody. In most times, reality is you and her are just passing acquaintance, but you just have this feeling that somehow you guys are just fated together, and you start using luvy duvy speeches as if the BGR is as inevitable as sunrise. Self deceiving, Self KC, boys are just experts in that until reality slaps them on the face and by then the girl already took all your positions except your little corner.

How not to self kc? Set really high expectations and look beyond just the exterior. Even if you are a person who see the exterior as important, set another expectation on her character. Be attracted by her characters rather than all the make up powder and nylon and lycra.

Put it this way, there can be as many types of girls ever possibly exist for you to choose, but 99% of the time is that you will only meet and get to like a certain type. Just defend from that type la. Girls can be typical on the exterior, but they various a lot inside. Set expectations on her insides and take the looks as pre-requisite. ;)

[69kmph]

This article really describes the typical Singapore girl:

Time for Singapore girl to play the 'little woman'
23 October 2004
Straits Times

by Wong Mei Xuan (Miss)

A FEW weeks back, I was intrigued when two male friends started lambasting the Singapore female and exalting the China girl.

It was not because of the concept of cross-matching across countries. That has been going on for centuries now, and I, being half-Peranakan, should be the last to raise an eyebrow about outsourcing for mates. Rather, it was the mindset of the men that was interesting.

'China girls are so pretty and have lower expectations,' said one. Added the other: 'Singapore girls are too demanding, they have a long list of expectations.'

Each glanced at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to put up an impassioned defence of the hard-to-please Singapore woman.

I half-smiled, waiting for the 'prawn-peeling' issue to surface. This was the mode of conversation I would have expected from 50-year-old single or slighted men, but coming from the mouths of 22-year-old boys with bright futures was a stunning revelation of the mindset of the young Singaporean male. Either they have no originality or Singapore girls are really too much to handle.

The news of the past two weeks confirmed the latter for me: Young 20-something men going to Bintan for cheap sex; 30-something men going to Vietnam for quick marriages. What is going on here?

I have been to Vietnam, and I love the place. The girls, true to form, are slim, tall and soft-spoken. Every word is punctuated with a smile, even when you are driving a hard bargain with them. Their speech is melodious, and they work hard without complaining, carrying loads of cloth and vegetables in the market stalls and food places. Simple, gentle and hardworking, it's hard not to fall in love with them.

So too are Malaysian girls. Having friends who are dating these girls, I have observed that they are generally of the 'saccharine' variety. Neither loud nor argumentative, they pander to the boys' needs. Not as doormats, but as cheerful assistants, who see it as their obligation to help their men without expecting anything in return. Not that they are stupid - oh, no, the Malaysian girls I know are smart and hardworking, with careers of their own. But when it comes to matters of the heart, they play the docile, giggly girlfriend with as much aplomb as their Viet counterparts. Again, it's easy to see where their attraction lies.

I cannot comment on the Chinese girls or the girls from Bintan, but I can contrast the Malaysian and Vietnamese girls I know with Singapore girls. We are, generally, extremely driven by ideals and emotions. In an argument, the Singapore girl is twice as likely as her Malaysian or Vietnamese counterpart to stride away in a huff or throw water on the male's face or hold a public screaming or crying fit.

Not for this girl are soft, barely audible replies. The Singapore girl debates and argues impassionedly. She wants to win at all costs and treats her love conquests like those fought in the office arena. She may be pretty, yes, smart, yes, but, oh, so demanding.

The Singapore girl, in short, is a challenge to love. Although she may, at the end of the day, be a supportive and faithful spouse, the barbs hiding her soft interior are daunting to the suitor.

She is materialistic, and loves being so. Shopping is a major hobby, and looking good is absolutely essential. The man is but another accessory, a helper, chauffeur, bag carrier.

Her girlfriends egg her on, smiling at one friend as her boyfriend picks her up after class each day and cheering the girl who unceremoniously dumps her cheating boyfriend in the middle of the road.

Girl power, we think unanimously. We are not going to be one of those docile wives who nod their heads and cook for you at the slightest command. We are not going to have wool pulled over our eyes by your romantic nonsense. No way. We are women of the new age, liberal, free and... single?

Somehow the whole idea of women's liberation in Singapore seems to have come at the expense of our love lives. We have assimilated Western role models of strong women without taking into account the men that are alongside us.

I have no answers, short of comforting Singapore women with the fact that pets make quite good companions.

However, for the sake of government procreation policies, I think it's imperative that a compromise be struck between the Singapore woman and man, before the Singapore born and bred woman becomes a relic of the past.

I remember an interview years ago in which a prominent local host, very much an image of the career-driven Singapore woman, said that with her then boyfriend, she played the role of the 'little woman'. Perhaps therein lies the secret weapon that Singapore women need to cultivate: a softer un-barbed personality for matters of the heart

[HCKing]

Somehow the whole idea of women's liberation in Singapore seems to have come at the expense of our love lives. We have assimilated Western role models of strong women without taking into account the men that are alongside us.

they nw fancy ang mo guys liao, where gt still bother abt the men that r alongside them.:rolleyes:

[glooper83]

This article really describes the typical Singapore girl:

Time for Singapore girl to play the 'little woman'
23 October 2004
Straits Times

by Wong Mei Xuan (Miss)

Thanks for pulling out this article for us to read. I really hope it gets published again and this time, hopefully it would have a bigger impact and give the girls a WAKE-UP call b'cos obviously in the 4 years that this was written, NOTHING has changed.

[ensign2000]

Come on guys,

They can converse intelligenly and know way more about life. With more education, .....

Wahaha. What a joke. You gotten know more SG girls and tell me if they know about matters of REAL life or only MOVIES.:D

[Zheng Ge]

Country progress, Society living standard improves and educational levels go higher, naturally expectations and criteria of choosing a partner will be higher and more stringent.

But nevertheless, fate and luck still play a rather important part too. :)

Some guys do have the care and pampered by heaven, they do get a high quality partner with their own limited qualities. Just have to see open and accept the facts of nature that some guys have all the luck. :cool:

[HCKing]

Come on guys,
When a person cannot eat the grape, sure say the grape very sour or rotten. If you can get a hot local girl, why need to find hot Thai/Cambodian/laos girl?

can see your ideal type of gf belongs to highly educated intelligent and hot local girl. tats the type of quality ya look 4 in a girl but doesnt mean other guys r also looking 4 them. to each its own, really.

Thai girls only marry singaporean guys because they can provide money. That is the case for most Thai girls, they want someone to take care of their family financially. Trust me, there is no love. They have no notion of love. To them, marriage is a transaction. I find it hard to believe this brother is singing the praises of his Thai wife. Come on, please get real......

hw u knw thai girls have no love or no notion or love? u had any relationship with them b4? or issit just yr perception? if u had bad experience with them then pls share yr story so we can benefit frm it.

Local girls are definitely way more intellectual that the Thai girl that you marry. They can converse intelligenly and know way more about life. With more education, a singaporean girl naturally expects more that a Thai village girl. Kampong got no tv, of course small tv is good enough..

can talk more intelligently doesnt = knw way more abt life. life is much more complex than u think. with education of cos one can talk more intelligently. again it boils down to the type of quality ya looking 4 in a girl. guys who dont give a hoot abt all the intelligent talks may also say they find thai girls able to love more passionately, right? to each its own, again.

Just try harder, you guys sure can find a kind and sweet local girl.

no need to be necessary local lah, as long as can find a kind and sweet girl ho say liao. ultimately, local or non local girl, still girl right? black cat or white cat, still cat right?

[DO_I_BJ]

Come on guys,

Local girls are definitely way more intellectual that the Thai girl that you marry. They can converse intelligenly and know way more about life.

i should "come on" you....
to say local girls are more intellectual than thai girls is so shallow. Its like saying all ang mohs in singapore are rich. Cmon brother. Stereotyping doesn't make a intellectual reason at all.

Just have to see open and accept the facts of nature that some guys have all the luck.

its nothing to do with luck but everything to do with character. You got luck but no character also cannot get a hot girl.

[HCKing]

its nothing to do with luck but everything to do with character. You got luck but no character also cannot get a hot girl.

totally agree, without character even can get a hot girl also will get dumped in no time.

[Oralcraz]

I'm married, this year will be 14yrs to my wife who is local.
Why i say you can still find this type???? Cos I married one......or shud i say 2
You reap what you sow...if you find someone ambitious and material minded, dun expect a downgrade.
My 1st wife is a grad from a Oz Uni and majors in Finance and Econs.
my second is a grad from a canadian uni who majors in biz admin and accounts.

.....................

The moral of my post...if you find someone materialistic, it means she's driven by that.....they can upgrade but wont downgrade.........99.99% accurate!

There're good and bad eggs everywhere...just whether you pick the correct ones only! But if you're taste are always leading to sad ending based on countless relationships...then i suggest you point your finger inwards...cos no one can be so SUAY so many times in a row...prolly your liking all falls into that category!
Last but not least....老婆我永远爱你！
This story is applicable to my 1st and second wife who will clock 13years in 2009 who all happen to be locals!

Very touching. I agree with yr comment and am extremely happy for u. Yr wife is one of the best, if not the best. A rare breed. Best Wishes.
(I married 18 yrs).

[TrulyAsia]

Come on guys,

When a person cannot eat the grape, sure say the grape very sour or rotten. If you can get a hot local girl, why need to find hot Thai/Cambodian/laos girl?

Thai girls only marry singaporean guys because they can provide money. That is the case for most Thai girls, they want someone to take care of their family financially. Trust me, there is no love. They have no notion of love. To them, marriage is a transaction. I find it hard to believe this brother is singing the praises of his Thai wife. Come on, please get real......

Local girls are definitely way more intellectual that the Thai girl that you marry. They can converse intelligenly and know way more about life. With more education, a singaporean girl naturally expects more that a Thai village girl. Kampong got no tv, of course small tv is good enough..

Just try harder, you guys sure can find a kind and sweet local girl.

2 words for you: FUCK YOU

Dun come and act smart here like a jackass, how u know they are more intelligent and intellectual, you know all the SG girls, fuck off.

1 good example is how ur mum gave birth to a idiot like you, i just can't bring myself to type anymore, felt disgusted by you..

Lastly, 2 words again for you, FUCK OFF !!

[Charmaine]

Come on guys,

When a person cannot eat the grape, sure say the grape very sour or rotten. If you can get a hot local girl, why need to find hot Thai/Cambodian/laos girl?


I would respectfully disagree. Truth is, I have had decent opportunities to hook up with local women after my latest relationship ended. But I've never had the inclination to look for Singaporeans again once I met my current Thai girlfriend. I've had options - but I'm just not intrigued. I wouldn't endorse your claim of "eating sour grapes" just because I, or for that matter anyone in this forum here, chose a girl from another nationality. If you placed my current Thai girlfriend side by side now with the hottest our country has to offer (FHM GND / Maxim finalists, for instance), there is still no doubt who I would choose. As I've previously mentioned, beauty is skin-deep - it's how they view and see life in general, how they see the world and how they value the importance of the family that appeals to me, and for that reason alone I will never go back to dating a local girl. It's a matter of choice and I've made mine.

When looking for a wife, I wouldn't want to merely find a pretty vase to show off to my friends. I didn't used to think that, but I'm now 31 and having seen and dated my fair share of local women over the years, my feeling is that they just can't seem to cut it anymore - my expectations of them are unrealistic, but so are theirs of mine. It's natural to part ways if there's a misalignment. That doesn't mean that I can't get them so I have to resort to going for others. To put it bluntly, I just cannot be fucking bothered to, because they're not worth the effort to try. I hope that's clear enough for you.

Oh and by the way, if you've indulged in an intellectual conversation with any local women recently, I would love to hear about what you've been talking to them about. The women I've been with have either only a shallow understanding of world, economic or political issues, or simply choose not to bother. Clothes, shoes, bags, soap operas on TV and the latest gadgets are immensely popular topics of discussion and they rarely veer beyond that, if at all. Intellectual? I've been able to speak to my Thai girlfriend about more profound and deep-lying issues (red vs yellow) than I've ever had the privilege of engaging with a local, and that alone speaks volumes about their own life experiences.

[HCKing]

Oh and by the way, if you've indulged in an intellectual conversation with any local women recently, I would love to hear about what you've been talking to them about. The women I've been with have either only a shallow understanding of world, economic or political issues, or simply choose not to bother. Clothes, shoes, bags, soap operas on TV and the latest gadgets are immensely popular topics of discussion and they rarely veer beyond that, if at all. Intellectual? I've been able to speak to my Thai girlfriend about more profound and deep-lying issues (red vs yellow) than I've ever had the privilege of engaging with a local, and that alone speaks volumes about their own life experiences.

tats provided if he is able to mix around with group of girls long enough to hear their 'real' dialogues then he will knw they all talk like aunties.

[DO_I_BJ]

bravo charmaine gd post... i was wondering why u using a girl's nick. hmmmm.

[glooper83]

Nice post by Charmine, but i also would like to comment that not all Local girls are like the stereotype that he has portrayed them to be. There are still a couple of decent ones that do place an importance on family and are not as materialistic. Still, it requires some luck to discover one, almost akin to finding a needle in a haystack.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Do not misunderstand this post.
Its meant to make a point and by no means a personal attack.....

Whats wrong wif local gals??????
My 1st 2 wives are local...my MOM is local...no probs

Is your mom local?????
Is your mom educated??????
Mine is....she has a degree from Melbourne Uni and she became a housewife at age 30..........
Born 1942...well people from that era, got western exposure..but still not wild, materialistic leh.......actually very low profile type.....like me la......but no leh.....not like some local bitches i met...really like shuving my foot into their mouth.........like wat some bros here say.........
But hey, i still meet those who i feel like giving a hug & a kiss........

Now, ask back this question for debate sake......
Look around your office can liao
Some you know can bring go ONS
Some can be lover
Some will never qualify for the above 2
But ever notice, the above last group you might never even want to notice???????????

So again, i would like to say, you reap wat you sow........
Beauty is only skin deep

That's y my old man drilled this into me when i was younger.......
Good gals marry young and disappear from the market........
Bad gals, you will always see them around, Y, cos they'll be taken off the market fast...but their return to be in the market is also as fast....................

[glooper83]

Do not misunderstand this post.
Its meant to make a point and by no means a personal attack.....

Whats wrong wif local gals??????
My 1st 2 wives are local...my MOM is local...no probs

Is your mom local?????
Is your mom educated??????
Mine is....she has a degree from Melbourne Uni and she became a housewife at age 30..........
Born 1942...well people from that era, got western exposure..but still not wild, materialistic leh.......actually very low profile type.....like me la......but no leh.....not like some local bitches i met...really like shuving my foot into their mouth.........like wat some bros here say.........
But hey, i still meet those who i feel like giving a hug & a kiss........

Now, ask back this question for debate sake......
Look around your office can liao
Some you know can bring go ONS
Some can be lover
Some will never qualify for the above 2
But ever notice, the above last group you might never even want to notice???????????

So again, i would like to say, you reap wat you sow........
Beauty is only skin deep

That's y my old man drilled this into me when i was younger.......
Good gals marry young and disappear from the market........
Bad gals, you will always see them around, Y, cos they'll be taken off the market fast...but their return to be in the market is also as fast....................

Wah, your mum is 66 this year and got degree somemore! Rarely see people of that era with a degree.

Can i visit your office? :p:p

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Wah, your mum is 66 this year and got degree somemore! Rarely see people of that era with a degree.

Can i visit your office? :p:p

U have no idea wat scary is bro......
I remember what she always tell me....
Goin oz those days werent as scary though skinbarr then was terrible.........
It was the voyage there by sea that was unbearable and unforgettable...hahahaha

[de-gardener]

So girls from which countries are the best?? >>> for a start is that a relevant question at all?

Character of a person is not bounded by nationality mind you.

For those complaining about local girls always bitching and talking about designer labels, etc etc.. is that not how their ability to doll themselves up that probably attracted your attention?

[colins]

Oh and by the way, if you've indulged in an intellectual conversation with any local women recently, I would love to hear about what you've been talking to them about. The women I've been with have either only a shallow understanding of world, economic or political issues, or simply choose not to bother. Clothes, shoes, bags, soap operas on TV and the latest gadgets are immensely popular topics of discussion and they rarely veer beyond that, if at all. Intellectual?

Wah lau eh, this one I definitely agree. Not that those topics are just 'guys topic' as to be frank, certain things only guys would find interest in discussing. But you're damn right about clothes, shoes, bags and basically things they do or will prefer to do to keep themselves busy with are very much on the superficial end. Ask about what they are thinking about what they want with their lives, very few can answer. Must less can be sure of that answer.

[BlurWolfe]

Sounds like romantic journey similar to titanic.

Refer back to the thread, I have no problem with SG gals, and in fact I think I scored the most in SG compared to other places that I resided.

SG gals they are not as $$$ grabbing as PRC, as can see from many news the gals will commit crime to pay for their bfs.




It was the voyage there by sea that was unbearable and unforgettable...hahahaha

[zhaonan]

Got good gals, only matter if u can meet 1.
Meet, can get or not is another qns.

[Charmaine]

Naturally, everyone of us will be guilty of either gross generalization, or stereotyping, or both, when participating in these type of threads. The truth will always fall somewhere in between the presented extremes – not all Singapore women are materialistic, snobbish and shallow; likewise, there are certain well-known, negative traits of foreign women (especially Thais, Vietnamese, Chinese and the like) that has been well documented over the years. A form of restraint is normally expected when indulging in a discussion about national characteristics, especially when it comes to women.

If fate hadn’t crossed my path, there was no way I would even have considered dating out of my comfort zone. There was just too much at stake – reputation (what on earth would people think if I married a non-local?), calming assurance (the easiest, most direct way out would be to settle down with somebody who has a similar upbringing and exposed to the same culture and life experiences as you were) and most importantly time (let’s face it – it’s requiring more and more effort to convince a girl that you like her these days, so who would ever have the time to look elsewhere? It’s just more convenient to find the “least fucked up” one within this small pool that this country has to offer and live with it). But after I met her I’ve learnt how to say “fuck it”. My happiness is all that matters; all others are moot points.

My story is a warped one. I was engaged to, and very nearly married, a local girl I didn’t love. She was as typical as you could get – loves clothes, shoes and bags, hardly talk about the things that mattered, love to eat, shop, sleep and travel, whines about the most minute things, gushes over the same idols and pop shit as everyone else (now how many of you would put your hands up now and declare “Hey, aren’t you describing my own girlfriend right now?”) and essentially earns her own keep but expects everything else out of her boyfriend. She would be considered physically attractive by neutrals (with the usual combination of fake eyelashes, gothic-looking mascara, thick make-up, branded perfume, Mango top and jeans with heels, anyone can look good by our own low standards) but everything else about her bothered me. I was in a relationship with her for close to 6 years, but it just dawned upon me one day that I wouldn’t be worse off (or for that matter, better off) if I simply grabbed any other girl off the street and made her mine. She was just too typical. This thought became such a distraction that it got in the way of the relationship. I couldn’t stand the tone of her voice any longer, I began to fight with her over the most childish details, and simply refused to try anymore. It became clear that I was no longer in love with her. We stayed together for a while, but it became so bad that we would sleep on separate beds, or if we were on the same, would try to sleep as far away from each other as physical possible. Sex became a chore, and on one occasion just before we called off the wedding, she insisted that I shower again just before doing the deed (I just came out of the shower). I cracked. No man deserves this shit, I declared, and walked out on her. I never returned. That bitch needed to be put in place, and I think by doing what I did, the next man that came into her life could probably benefit from it. Best wishes to him.

It was then that I began to realize that the problem wasn’t with her – it was with this country and its inane ability to bring up decent, character-driven individuals to satisfy my need to experience life in a completely, different, dynamic way. I began to lose hope in marriage and relationships in general. That was until I met my current Thai girlfriend.

Another story for another day, then. For single men out there losing hope, food for thought, then - you would scour the internet for months looking for the best deal when you're looking for a hi-fi then proudly declare to your friends that you're got the best offer on the planet, so why limit yourselves to a little island spanning all of a 45-minute drive from end to end when looking for a life companion and resort to merely "settling" for someone? You only live once. Look around. There are more than two hundred countries in the world and probably more than half a billion women anywhere and at any point in time. You just need to be brave.

[Injun Chief]

– not all Singapore women are materialistic, snobbish and shallow

If looking for a wife then don't look for a girlfriend.
If looking for a girlfriend then don't look for a wife.

Most girls will be like what she is (behaviour) and won't change drastically after marriage. So if look for a long term companion, then look those that are suitable to be wife. Not very easy to find someone who can look after the house well however there are.

[mike1304k]

I lived abroad for almost 10 years and after coming back to Singapore, I also worked overseas for a few years. My take on the issue is actually that it boils down to a difference in thinking and attitudes. I cannot say whether it is wrong or right. Singapore women, having higher education levels and also economic freedom, want to be treated like they are the centre of the universe. I was almost married to one, so I know. I had to pick her up from her home and send her to work and then after work, rush to pick her up for dinner.

We being men, also have our own ego's and our own attitudes and therefore there will come a time when we will get friction from there.

Having an Ang Moh is also no better as they are very verbal and also they will protect their own ideas and thoughts. Having another South East Asian is an idea, however, they are from lower economic status and even if you are lucky enough to find someone who will love you instead of your money, she will be looked upon as a second class citizen.. Of course, you can hope and try for Japanese or Koreans, who are like the dreams of most men... But they are from vastly different cultures and you have to be ready to accept that.

There are nice girls out there, be it Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand and or Rest of the world... However, we must also view ourselves and ask ourselves what we are looking for and what we want. It is only then we will be able to be satisfied with what we have.

[SirDennis]

One other thing not mentioned is that we are talking about attractive girls, not below average looking ones.


Everyone can get a decent wife or girlfriend if they have no sexual attraction influence, since many of the nicer and decent girls out there arent actually that pretty.


Since there is a limited pool of attractive girls, it does pay to look outside the island, especially if you are like me- not the most socially perfect outgoing and experienced guy. Attractive educated girls expect you to be Mr Alpha, Mr Know it all. I have a good job, but sadly, have always been behind the eight ball socially.


So to play to my strengths, I've met many girls from other countries in Asia, both 1st and 3rd World. The distance is usually a deal breaker, but I do get to meet many more pretty girls this way.

[de-gardener]

come to think of it. i don't think we can always just put the blame on singaporean gals. we Men of singapore should take responsibility too.

look. so we all here know whats lacking in sg gals. Is there enough of us willing to 'fuck' them for their nonsense? Instead, we would choose to complain and not do anything or just quietly go away and choose gals from other countries.

so what's left of the guys are those submissive ones, who willingly splurge on branded stuffs for their gals. or like what 1 of the bro mentioned earlier, fetch the gal arnd etc etc. I even know of one who earns a meagre 3k every month but always buy branded stuff for his gal.. even change her bedsheet every week... WTF?? :confused:

is a feedback system. it's becos so many of sg guys are doing such stuff. giving in too easily.. dat's how u get such behaviour from sg gals..

think abt it..

cheers

[Si Geena]

You only live once. Look around. ... You just need to be brave.

Yes, and that's the thing. We look back and don't ever regret the decisions we make, the pieces we moved.

The world is a lovely place, don't you agree?

Great thread my friend.

[Charmaine]

Just this afternoon, I was having lunch with a colleague when I shared with him a story about what happened a day before during our regular weekly meeting. I was bored out of my mind and still having your typical "morning hangover" feeling, so when a text message came into my mobile phone I was suitably intrigued, albeit only for a short while.

The sender of the sms was female, an account manager for one of the vendors I've had working relationship with about a year ago. She casually texted me to ask me if we would have any new jobs for her in the coming months. Desperate to hang on to whatever entertainment there was on offer, I texted her back in a far more informal way that I would previously have done to my other vendors. That broke the ice - cue furious exchange of messages the next 20 minutes, none of them about work. But I kept it clean and we weren't flirting - the overall tone was of a relaxed nature.

After the meeting (which lasted all of 5 hours with the GM's PA thoughtfully packing lunch boxes for everyone while the bloody thing just went on and on; yes it was just that kind of day), I thought I'd be sweet and text her a simple "thank you" for bothering to keep me company throughout my ordeal. She didn't text back after 30 minutes, which bothered me a little bit since she has been spot on and responsive that morning. I texted her again "Did I say something wrong?" after which the reply was almost immediate "No, I don't have the habit of replying to stupid sentences."

Now that really infuriated me because all I had wanted to do was to be a kind, sweet gentleman and send a word of appreciation over. I texted back "What did I say that was stupid?"

She replied "I thought it was way overdone the way you thanked me for keeping you company during your meeting. And yes it really did sound stupid to me"

I scratched my head the next 10 minutes trying to figure out what kind of sexual games she was playing. Here I was trying to be nice and there she is behaving like a total whore - it just didn't make sense. Finally I gave up, and, firmly remembering this thread in a bid to practice what I preach, snapped. This bitch obviously thinks I'm trying to start to get fresh with her and is now trying to weave me in thinking she is hard to get. Now I know she's single, she's not even that attractive to begin with, so what's with the fucking attitude even if I was trying to nudge things up a notch, which I wasn't? A word of thanks and suddenly I'm a big bad wolf guilty of "sianing" her?

I replied "The thank you was sincere. I'm not trying to be pretentious and I'm not trying to get fresh. I was just trying to be nice. I'm not really used to getting shit from girls so I think this will be the last you'll hear from me."

This was my exact message. She replied something like "I'm not giving you shit.. blah blah". I didn't even bother to read the entire line what she said and promptly deleted her phone number from my mobile. Fuck off, bitch, I remembered thinking as I was removing her name from my address book. I don't need you in my life, and I don't think you want me in yours, either. God did that feel good.

True story, folks, and one that should make for entertaining reading on a cold wet day. I guess this is just too typical of the "I'm the best thing since sliced bread" syndrome that too many girls seem to have - an unrealistic, inflated opinion of themselves that nobody ever bothered to correct. My point is - when even average women are trying to market themselves as the next Lin Dai Yu, it's up to us to put them in their place and beat them down. You can even say we owe it to them. I could have done the easy thing, apologised, whimpered like a pussy and acknowledged that I said something stupid, but that would be the Singaporean way out. Send more of such mesages to women and they'll know they need to change their ways. Maybe then will the dating market improve for the better in local shores. For now at least, we only have ourselves to blame.

[Kittenish]

Just this afternoon, I was having lunch with a colleague when I shared with him a story about what happened a day before during our regular weekly meeting. I was bored out of my mind and still having your typical "morning hangover" feeling, so when a text message came into my mobile phone I was suitably intrigued, albeit only for a short while.

The sender of the sms was female, an account manager for one of the vendors I've had working relationship with about a year ago. She casually texted me to ask me if we would have any new jobs for her in the coming months. Desperate to hang on to whatever entertainment there was on offer, I texted her back in a far more informal way that I would previously have done to my other vendors. That broke the ice - cue furious exchange of messages the next 20 minutes, none of them about work. But I kept it clean and we weren't flirting - the overall tone was of a relaxed nature.

After the meeting (which lasted all of 5 hours with the GM's PA thoughtfully packing lunch boxes for everyone while the bloody thing just went on and on; yes it was just that kind of day), I thought I'd be sweet and text her a simple "thank you" for bothering to keep me company throughout my ordeal. She didn't text back after 30 minutes, which bothered me a little bit since she has been spot on and responsive that morning. I texted her again "Did I say something wrong?" after which the reply was almost immediate "No, I don't have the habit of replying to stupid sentences."

Now that really infuriated me because all I had wanted to do was to be a kind, sweet gentleman and say a word of thanks. I texted back "What did I say that was stupid?"

She replied "I thought it was was overdone the way you thanked me for keeping you company during your meeting. And yes it really did sound stupid to me"

I scratched my head the next 10 minutes trying to figure out what kind of sexual games she was playing. Here I was trying to be nice and there she is behaving like a total whore - it just didn't make sense. Finally I gave up, and, firmly remembering this thread in a bid to practice what I preach, snapped. This bitch obviously thinks I'm trying to start to get fresh with her and is now trying to weave me in thinking she is hard to get. Now I know she's single, she's not even that attractive to begin with, so what's with the fucking attitude even if I was trying to nudge things up a notch, which I wasn't?

I replied "The thank you was sincere. I'm not trying to be insincere and I'm not trying to get fresh. I was just trying to be nice. I'm not really used to getting shit from girls so I think this will be the last you'll hear from me."

This was my exact message. She replied something like "I'm not giving you shit.. blah blah". I didn't even bother to read the entire line what she said and promptly deleted her phone number from my mobile. Fuck off, bitch, I remembered thinking as I was removing her name from my address book. I don't need you in my life, and I don't think you want me in yours, either.

True story, folks, and one that should make for entertaining reading on a cold wet day. My point is this - when even average women are trying to market themselves as the next Lin Dai Yu, it's up to us to put them in their place and beat them down. I could have done the easy thing, apologised, whimpered like a pussy and acknowledged that I said something stupid, but that would be the Singaporean way out. Send more of such mesages to women and they'll know they need to change their ways. Maybe then will the dating market improve for the better in local shores. For now at least, we only have ourselves to blame.

A simple "You're welcome" or "It was my pleasure" would have gone so far in this occasion.

Perhaps its that some people are really NOT used to ANYONE being polite or gracious to them, that they don't know how to react when someone actually is. Especially via sms, where they cannot read facial cues/body language, hear tone of voice. She must have assumed that you were being sarcastic.

Another theory is that perhaps no one ever behaves so politely to her, unless they have ulterior motives.... and thus, she erroneously took your graciousness as ridicule. Its really sad.

[Kittenish]

Wah lau eh, this one I definitely agree. Not that those topics are just 'guys topic' as to be frank, certain things only guys would find interest in discussing. But you're damn right about clothes, shoes, bags and basically things they do or will prefer to do to keep themselves busy with are very much on the superficial end. Ask about what they are thinking about what they want with their lives, very few can answer. Must less can be sure of that answer.

I certainly can't say that I represent SG women, however.

Personally:
If I don't know the other party very well, my conversation topics will be kept strictly to the most shallow i.e. clothes, bags, weather, movies, techie stuff, etc.

I would not risk opening myself on more controversial/intellectual topics when I don't have a feel as to where he/she stands on them. (I could be very pro-environment, and you actually work for a timber company...etc)

So in general, its much safer to keep things banal, keep things shallow, rather than inadvertently causing offense. At least until I know you better and feel more comfortable to discuss on the 'deeper' things in life, and share my innermost feelings.

And maybe I'm just shy and nervous and making small talk.

[glooper83]

If looking for a wife then don't look for a girlfriend.
If looking for a girlfriend then don't look for a wife.

Most girls will be like what she is (behaviour) and won't change drastically after marriage. So if look for a long term companion, then look those that are suitable to be wife. Not very easy to find someone who can look after the house well however there are.

i think this has been said before and it is quite true.

the other sbf way of saying this would be, wife to look after house, mistress to look after yourself or something like that.

I have given up my ideals of getting hitched early (within the next 1-2 yrs) and put it off to maybe when i am 30+. But i would still prefer to have a local bride and thus the long wait for someone to show up.

[colins]

I certainly can't say that I represent SG women, however.

Personally:
If I don't know the other party very well, my conversation topics will be kept strictly to the most shallow i.e. clothes, bags, weather, movies, techie stuff, etc.

I would not risk opening myself on more controversial/intellectual topics when I don't have a feel as to where he/she stands on them. (I could be very pro-environment, and you actually work for a timber company...etc)

So in general, its much safer to keep things banal, keep things shallow, rather than inadvertently causing offense. At least until I know you better and feel more comfortable to discuss on the 'deeper' things in life, and share my innermost feelings.

And maybe I'm just shy and nervous and making small talk.

Thanks for shedding some light into our topic. It seems that if you are shy you may be seen as shallow and if you are bold, you may be seen as too aggressive. Neither falls into the comfort zone where man and woman can safely communicate for the purpose of getting to know each other.

One way or another, guys tend to stereotype as well. My observation was formed based on the constant chatterings of my new colleagues over a period of time before I really got to know them. 1 week ago, I decided to check them out one by one. When I reached the 3rd girl, which was yesterday on a dinner date, I was already on constant sms with the previous 2. So far, all of them have revealed certain personal things regarding themselves, our conversations are becoming deeper and they have started to initiate those deeper topics. To be frank, we have gone into 'intellectual topics' as I did try to initiate without giving the impression that I am probing into their personal lives, but more into their inner mind.

Why I made those conclusions (maybe 3 is still a formative study) is becos although they seem quite strong, say, in articulating what they want in life, the accompanying rationales are pretty weak. For example, this girl knows she needs something better than a diploma and she like to have her own boutique eventually. I pursued that topic and she said education can earn her a higher income and from there make enough savings to open a boutique. Sounds good. But when I asked deeper as to when is she going to take a course, what course to take, need what skills to run a boutique, she handled the questions very superficially though not without some considerations. Like, business courses lor! Later she seemed to totally enjoy talking about how she shares clothings, shoes with her sis and even showed me the economics of repairing 6 shoes instead buying just one pair, with the same cost. Then she proceeded to show me where she get usually go and her shoes repaired. If I am her bf I probably need to listen to why high heels wear down quicker as opposed flat soles, which she also explained in great detail.

The other 2 girls are stronger in their vision, but similarly weak in providing rationales. It is like, you can just tell them the world doesn't work this way and provide logic as proof. You can see them blink and go back to the drawing board stage. So I have to take it objectively and present it as it is.

What do you think?

[HCKing]

A simple "You're welcome" or "It was my pleasure" would have gone so far in this occasion.

Perhaps its that some people are really NOT used to ANYONE being polite or gracious to them, that they don't know how to react when someone actually is. Especially via sms, where they cannot read facial cues/body language, hear tone of voice. She must have assumed that you were being sarcastic.

Another theory is that perhaps no one ever behaves so politely to her, unless they have ulterior motives.... and thus, she erroneously took your graciousness as ridicule. Its really sad.

agree with what u said, girls tend to think too much, even for a short and simple 'thank you', if u said it to different girls there may be all different interpretations from all of them.

2ndly, this girl is waiting for an apology sms frm bro Charmane, to remind him who is the superior party in the entire sms episode. if she were to reply 'u r welcomed' it will make her feel like a retail staff replying her customer's 'thank u' in a retail shop. like that pussy where gt feel shiok. this kinda funny mood swing behaviour is nthing new for local girls. just to give u an example of mine, i used to chat on MSN with a local girl on and off whenever online. 1 morning i saw her online and MSN her a msg 'good morning' and guess what? she blocked and deleted me frm her contact list.:eek:

well i guess she might have had a really tough morning that day and i suay then.:D

[Kittenish]

Charmaine:
As a disclaimer, I had an 8am conference call and my system is still in shock from getting up too early to go to work. LOL


That sounds like a very interesting experiment you're working on.

In reference to the last example you cited, you noted that while the subject knows what she wants, she's not quite figured out how to get there i.e. "what courses she should take". I think this would fall under the "details", which many of us 'feeling' vs 'thinking' types tend to skip past.

The idea is, if we are ready to do it, then we find out the 'details' of how to get it done, rather than doing all our research now, and making a decision now. Perhaps she feels that she really isn't ready yet for it anyway, so why 'rush things'. Probably not the best way of going about it, but its common, and presumably this personality trait is not restricted to females.

I probably drive my more rational/thinking counterparts & friends nuts with this laid-back attitude.

The tale of how she shares clothes/ saves by repairing shoes/showig you her cobbler, probably falls under small talk. It is most likely that this will all be new and different to you, so presumably would be classified under 'sharing' and possibly you'll be entertained by it?

Perhaps she's really proud of her good r/s with her sister (i.e. they share clothes all the time!), and that she's not a spendthrift (repairs shoes rather than buying new ones & throwing the old ones away). The fact that high heels wear down faster than lower heels is something that most people don't think about, and she may have thought that you would find her information interesting. It’s a conversation that I can imagine having with another gf, and we can discuss the merits of the above.

E.g.
A: My sister and I share clothes all the time! It really saves us money, and we have twice the wardrobe. Trouble is, she often forgets to return it to me and I have to go searching in her closet!
B: You're so lucky! My sister and I can't share clothes! We're not the same size at all. It does sound troublesome if she doesn't return them to you though, will you forget what you already have? Would it help if you labelled your own clothes with your name? I'm sure she doesn't mean to forget.
A: Oh! They are labelled, but she forgets all the time. I guess at least its not so bad, since I have access to her closet at any time, and its not like the clothes totally go missing. I've heard that C's family has a general closet for everyone and you just go in and take whatever you want, I can't imagine that! There's no privacy at all!
…. Blah blah blah

The above is a totally fictional conversation that you might overhear between 2 girlfriends. Looks very superficial doesn't it?
Facts:
1) A has a good relationship with her sister. i.e. she's family-oriented.
2) A & her sister are about the same size, and have a similar clothing style. I wonder if they look alike?
3) A isn't selfish. (Always good to know with a friend, so that you know what to expect when you go out, impt when you guys are sharing meals etc)
4) A is willing to compromise. (good to know that your friend can be flexible)
5) C's family shares the closet. (I think this is pretty rare, curious now! Makes me think abt the pros and cons of such an arrangement)
6) A is ok with sharing with certain people, but not everyone in her family.

I don't know if I'm totally losing your interest, but essentially, through this little anecdote, I'm trying to demonstrate how we girls manage to glean information from the most superficial seeming, 'mindless' chatter. Its not our style to query or quiz each other interview-style.

E.g.
A: What do you want to do in the future? Still the same line?
B: Well not really, I do have a dream of opening my own dress boutique. I'm really into clothes, and I love mixing and matching clothes.
A: Wow! Is anyone going in on that with you, or are you going to start it on your own? It sounds challenging in this market…. You know that dress shops are a dime a dozen….
B: I am trying to save up for it now, and once I get enough capital, I'll source for some suppliers and a location.
A: You do have a very unique, but eclectic style
Blah blah blah blah

If B doesn't volunteer information, its not our style to really probe further. But A is always welcome to state her opinion and give advice. E.g. Yes, I think you really should start thinking about the courses you want to take…etc

****
As to your observation that the girls are weak in providing rationale… I guess it may be true that in general, females are less 'logical' and more 'intuitive' (of course there are many females who are trained in logic, and CAN debate with the best of them).

If you tell them something that goes agains twhat they believe, and supply logic as a proof, there isn't really much they can say. They WOULD have to go back to the 'drawing board' stage and rethink their situation based on the new facts supplied. If your argument is sound and logical, there isn't much that can be done to refute it UNLESS you have a faulty premise that they notice immediately. (They may also not be comfortable or feel strongly enough to argue the point with you.)

I think I'm quite similar to the girls you've mentioned in terms of how I know things/do things . I probably wouldn't be able to give you a rationale if asked, but give me time to think about it and organize my thoughts, and I will be.

HCKing:
That's weird. Maybe she felt that you were 'pestering' her and she was in a really bad mood.... I get mood swings too, as my poor bf can attest to.

[colins]

Charmaine:
As a disclaimer, I had an 8am conference call and my system is still in shock from getting up too early to go to work. LOL


From your post, I can tell that you spent considerable effort in putting forth your points, and for that, very big thank you.

On the surface, you provided information in a very nice way. But you managed to refute all my conclusions and proved that I am in fact quite an insensitive man incapable of understanding girls at even a basic level. To be frank, 2 years ago I am very confident that I will eventually settle down with a foreigner, recently my mindset had been changed and that is why my interest is clear.

Thank you for opening the door to your world. There will be many things which I will have to seek your good advice. As the experiment (I hate to call them subjects but I meant no harm) progress, pls be patient with your new student. ;)

[EtherC]

Singapore has always been a migrant society, my father was from china as well and he married my mother who is local. 40% of those Singaporeans who got married last year had married foreign spouses. Frankly whats the big deal with this? In fact its good for the gene pool.

For 40 years there has been no natural disaster, military conflict or social upheaval. We have grown soft. Singaporeans are so dependent that many hire maids/domestic help to avoid cleaning and cooking. Too many Singaporeans live amongst the clouds. Huge debts without substantial savings and no contingency plan. Big dreams little effort and no course charted, give them a slight push and they tip over. So if you're a guy with no detailed concrete step by step plan for life, can't cook, can't clean do you honestly expect a girl who is brought up in the same environment to be able to do those things? The women like men in Singapore studied hard and found decent income. Men buy their Quadcore PCs while women buy their LVs whats there to argue about?

Without the struggle to survive against odds, the maturity level of many Singaporeans are well below their chronological age. Seen so many Singaporeans who are very detached from the realities of life. Take the fiasco with SE in the MLM circle for example. Those tens of thousands of people trapped are out of touch with the reality of investments, company structure and MAS regulations.

To be honest I'm pretty afraid for Singapore. Seen so many supposedly smart young postgrads & grads without sound financial discipline, spending the bulk of their income on the pleasures of life: travel, good food, massage, hair styling, fashion, cars, condo etc. And worse chalking up substantial credit debts. These people have almost no fluidity, depleted their CPF and will suffer when the crunch comes because they have little savings as well. Many have locked money in paper value with insurance policies and pay instalments for their uni education.

This scenario is much like the decline of the Roman Empire, where a war hardened people become fat and bloated. Eventually falling apart due to internal conflict and being sacked by the Goths. What will happen when LKY dies? I hope in this case history doesn't repeat.

Its not just a issue with local girls. This is a systemic issue concerning Singapore Inc. We play a large part in creating this situation, not imparting to children the value of money and fostering a dependent attitude. Paying for their child's uni fee, paying for their trips, paying for wedding etc. How would the child learn that money doesn't fall from the skies? Singaporeans played an important role in creating the inflated HDB prices by profiteering from resale of leasehold HDBs.

Local girls who can't discuss "intellectual" issues? That's laughable. Most of us are a far cry from being intellectuals. That's right you and me are no intellectuals. If we were Singapore Inc wouldn't exist.

[colins]

Local girls who can't discuss "intellectual" issues? That's laughable. Most of us are a far cry from being intellectuals. That's right you and me are no intellectuals. If we were Singapore Inc wouldn't exist.

Here we go again....hahahaha

Ok somebody used that word again, let's go back and erase it from our memories. Let's just call it something else. ;)

[Kittenish]

From your post, I can tell that you spent considerable effort in putting forth your points, and for that, very big thank you.

On the surface, you provided information in a very nice way. But you managed to refute all my conclusions and proved that I am in fact quite an insensitive man incapable of understanding girls at even a basic level. To be frank, 2 years ago I am very confident that I will eventually settle down with a foreigner, recently my mindset had been changed and that is why my interest is clear.

Thank you for opening the door to your world. There will be many things which I will have to seek your good advice. As the experiment (I hate to call them subjects but I meant no harm) progress, pls be patient with your new student. ;)

Oh dear, so sorry that I addressed my reply wrongly.

Honestly, I believe that you are being too harsh on yourself by staying that you are insensitive person who does not understand girls.

My statements and examples are drawn from personal experience, and cannot be said to apply to all females. Though we may act similiar, the motivations and reasons can differ.

Of course, I would be glad to help in giving insight as much as I can, but its limited from my pov.

I guess the key thing is, be the best partner you can be, before you look for the best partner for you.
Cheers & all the best.

[colins]

Oh dear, so sorry that I addressed my reply wrongly.

Honestly, I believe that you are being too harsh on yourself by staying that you are insensitive person who does not understand girls.

My statements and examples are drawn from personal experience, and cannot be said to apply to all females. Though we may act similiar, the motivations and reasons can differ.

Of course, I would be glad to help in giving insight as much as I can, but its limited from my pov.

I guess the key thing is, be the best partner you can be, before you look for the best partner for you.
Cheers & all the best.

No worries about the addressing, all of us use nicks anyway so identity is not in the name but our POV.

Tonight went for date again (with the 2nd) and although she din talk about shoes and clothes, we discussed many work and personal issues. She started her issues and link it all to her direction in career and life, I was again led to the same old conclusion. Maybe seeing clarity in others is easier but in all objective-ness, I feel that girls make up directions and decisions on the fly. Too tired to write the details now, maybe share it at a later date.

I do agree in making ourselves better first before searching, but every woman has their own view on a single man. So its hard to justify what is a best partner. Again, too logical. Logic just help in seeing truths and in dropping it, compromises the whole deal of seeking betterment in life. At least that is what she agreed just now. Cheers;)

[yingge]

Still yet to meet a good 1.

[slider_72]

This scenario is much like the decline of the Roman Empire, where a war hardened people become fat and bloated. Eventually falling apart due to internal conflict and being sacked by the Goths. What will happen when LKY dies? I hope in this case history doesn't repeat.

Although this is a little off topic since this is the matters of the heart section, unfortunately I fully agree with what you have just said. Unless this generation and the next generation buck up, I fear that the demise of Singapore will come not too long after the demise of LKY.

We have entire generations brought up in air-conditioned comfort, attended to by Filipina maids and fussed about by LV totting mums. The bulk of scholarships are awarded to people who are already living in GCBs. With the ever widening social divide, in times of trouble, the well heeled will be able to park their millions overseas, change their passports and continue to live their good lives, while the second and bottom tier in society will be left behind to suffer.

And with a dearth of natural resources, how can we hope to survive as a nation by then? Perhaps offer up our sovereignty to become part of China? Haha.

[haoyunqiqi]

Wat can I say? Right and wrong always they say.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Wat can I say? Right and wrong always they say.

Wow not bad, every thread take in this section take 1 minute to reply in succession............amazing how you read the entire thread and very impressed with all your ON LINER replies........well done!

[muguamugua]

Very difficult to understand!

[anathem]

Naturally, everyone of us will be guilty of either gross generalization, or stereotyping, or both, when participating in these type of threads. The truth will always fall somewhere in between the presented extremes.

At the end of the day, that is the one truth that seems to stand saliently out. There is no point pretending exchanges like this are, by some miracle, academically-oriented or intellectually vigorous, not to mention, objective and detached engagements in any fashion. Let us not kid ourselves. At the very best, something vaguely akin to the bland and nauseating, if well-packaged, feel-good truisms served up by self-help/self-empowerment industry. And most of the time, a lot worse. Of course, I don't think myself, or anyone else for that matter, is going to take anything here too seriously. Still, it's easy to forget that people are always simplifying things. Maybe life is just too complex, too troublesome (or should that be troubling?). Especially in this confusing, chaotic (post-)modern world. We resort to short-handed ways of expression, preferring simple, straight to the point answers and generalizations to labor, introspection and understanding. Well, what did you expect; this is a generation that will take PPT presentations (rich-media, of course, but where's the content?), clearly delineated to-do lists and handily drawn-up action items over convoluted sentences, complicated arguments and detailed, well-researched treatises any day. Harsh, but why should how we look at the world always be governed by this impulse? Shouldn't we appreciate the world as it is - with all its attendant mysteries, wonders and complications intact? Anyway, this is just my three cents on this 'issue' and while I shouldn't start off with one too many caveats, I think one should still be circumspect about using terms like 'Singaporean' or 'women', without a second thought, as if the complexities they sum up can be wished away for the sake of simplicity. And even when I try to be clear and state things up-front, I will perhaps be making these same sort of mistakes time and time again - of gross simplification and taking for granted one assumption more than necessary. The fault is mine and mine alone.

I REALLY don't get this thing about 'Singaporean' women versus 'foreign' women. What exactly is 'Singaporean' anyway? I know someone who is almost totally 'white' (she 'looks' it though she's actually a lot more, shall we say, 'exotic'), who used to hold the passport of another ASEAN state and who grew up in four different corners of the world. She became a Singaporean a few years back for reasons of convenience. Not your average Singaporean girl but really, what do labels like 'Singaporean' really describe typically? Yet another stereotypical 'CMIO' projection? Unthinking usage of loaded terms like this only serve to project a totalized reality, as if that was the cast-iron, unchanging truth. Okay, perhaps one can speak of attitudes and trends IN GENERAL (i.e. supposedly reflective of an identifiable population or sample group), discernible via surveys, interviews and the multitude of statistical tools that can be brought to bear with respect to whatever issue is at hand. Hence we have all these fancy opinion polls and a mountain of data that is supposed to enlighten. And we're supposed to extrapolate after pouring through the pertinent data that, WOW, for example, 'Singaporean women' are, compared across time and space, more materialistic, more promiscuous and less 'pro-family'? Sound the alarm, summon the journalists! Might work to a very limited extent if you're one of those policy cunts in the public bureaucracy but really, much of this junk will not tell you anything about the diverse day-to-day lifestyles, choices and problems faced by real people. Does it even have any basic sort of predictive capacity? We draw up categories, markers, control groups and whatever you call it on a whim. Even that ultimate, unquestioningly accepted category - 'SOCIETY' - I mean, what the hell is that, seriously? Just what is 'Singaporean' society? Where does it begin and end? For that matter, just where exactly do 'societal' boundaries lie? Whichever way you look at it, it all goes back to the reality/fiction that is the nation-state. Just because I hold the passport of a certain state (that I never voluntarily chose to be a part of) doesn't make me, my decisions and my behaviour any more transparent or understandable with respect to the predictions of some body of statistical data (supposedly descriptive of me, as an aggregate and member of some bigger group). Ultimately, terms of national affiliation and identification would only become increasingly problematic, as more and more people become better integrated into the wider 'global' socio-economic structures as well as ebbs and flows from beyond these shores. I am sure everyone feels it, to one extent or another. One's friends (and circuits of familiarity) are increasingly international in nature, and one's taste and lifestyle similarly so. How 'Singaporean' are real Singaporeans? I don't know. I can only speak for myself and no one else, but I certainly do not see myself as special or unique. Some might ask about the so-called hardcore 'heartland Ah-Bengs' to drive home some point. Excuse me, but just watch how much louder they cheer for England or their favourite EPL side versus the perpetually under-performing national football side. You get the drift. Having many friends, acquaintances and associates who have studied, lived or even taken root in places as different as Dubai and Moscow, as distant as Perth and Oslo (and having had short- to mid-term working stints abroad), I'm not sure how efficacious the dominant national(ist) discourse will be in the years to come. I have friends who have been away for more than fifteen years, some who can speak with a Mid-Atlantic accent if necessary (or out of habit; doesn't stop them from lapsing into the occasional bit of Singlish when caught off guard. Ahhh...how cute and quaint!) and who are probably a lot more familiar with the East Village than Holland Village. Other than the familiar red passport, are they still Singaporean? Do they qualify to be included as protagonists in this 'debate'? Nonetheless, one should not under-estimate the power of states or the over-arching international (ironic, isn't it?) ideology and system of division - built precisely on the short-hand of the nation-state. That is not the issue here, of course. But what I am merely pointing out is how tenuous and constructed 'national' identities (and hence, by extension, categories as well) are. That is not to say that globalization is antithetical to identity or a sense of roots though. I don't know about other people, but global though my outlook is, i still AM rooted. I am deeply rooted, in fact, attached to familiar spaces, streets and back-alleys etched in my mind (which the state just enjoys bulldozing over every now and then for no particular reason other than some vague notion of 'upgrading' and urban 'renewal' - thanks for making schizophrenics and borderlines out of your own citizens!), to the sights, sounds and smells of the city I grew up in. Not to mention, friends and family (these days, everyone is just scattered around the globe anyway). Memories, dreams and then some. But I am rooted also to many other important and formative things - music, television, books, magazines, film, travels etc etc etc...these things also made me who and what I am; they are an invaluable part of me, even if they do not originate from this claustrophobic little island. So am I, all things considered, really more similar to a so-called 'fellow Singaporean' than someone who shares my interests, hobbies, beliefs and inclinations a lot more closely hailing from two oceans away? Shared stuff like Singlish and food may help shape some comfort-zone but this is also something only skin-deep on some levels. Is there something primordial inside me that prevents me from calling the 'foreign' (what a nonsensical division!) currents that helped shape me, my own? No, certainly not! No one, not even the state and the brainwashing they give you in school, can take any of these things away from me. Because they ARE me. In addition, while I am attached to my own particularistic notion of 'HOME', but why should this be mapped onto some asshole's nationalist discourse or agenda and considered as synonymous? It is not. At all. Not that I really care, but people ought to make that distinction too. Yes, identity is not only inscriptive and descriptive but also prescriptive, so the state's machinations does matter. Nevertheless, while it can be imposed from without, it is also self-inscribed to some extent. Individuals owe it to themselves to understand just how negotiated the entire business of identity is. Nation, ethnicity, 'race' - they are 'real', yet they are NOT at all. Drawing visible and invisible divisions where there shouldn't be any; how lamentable! One's provenance is perhaps not unimportant. But your origin isn't your fucking destiny. I think the specifics of your biography are probably a lot more important (can't really say that if you were born in Darfur or The Congo, i guess, where hell - not an option - begins at birth; but then again, I NEVER asked to be born here or anywhere). And everyone's little narrative will always be different. Because each of us has a different story to tell. Just make sure yours count for something.

[anathem]

What goes for one person doesn't necessarily apply to everyone in any group that you lump that person in. So you've had some bad encounters with so-called 'Singaporean women', does that mean that by and large they are all nasty and vile? And what of other impinging elements, like age, socio-economic background, education, employment history, etc. etc. etc. These indicators and factors can skew one's perception if they are not accounted for. Instead of always looking at things in a simplistic 'gendered' manner (e.g. the 'men are from mars and women venus, and never the twain shall they meet' sort of position), shouldn't we take a step back, examine our own presumptuous presuppositions and try to look at the situation from a different angle? I am not trying to deny the differences between 'men' and 'women', but this black-and-white oppositional dichotomy is often far too unquestioned, far too unexamined. Rather than denying the reality of sexual politics, I think we should try to see how this reality is actually dynamic and changing, and how it interacts with, and is affected by a host of other factors, structures and ideologies. And while I think that perhaps the physiological differences between 'men' and 'women' may account for some degree of variance in cognitive and behavioural patterns, I've truly yet to see any shred of objective scientific evidence that these DETERMINE and PREDICT some sort of gender gap across time and space, one that is biological, innate and free of all influences from human culture. Obviously one doesn't need to be an anthropologist to realise that the evidence just isn't there, just considering the huge diversity of inter-gender possibilities that exist amongst different 'cultures' (like 'society', 'culture' is all too often a loaded short-hand). Whether it's marriage, parenthood, sexuality or gender roles, the human species has evolved an immense range of arrangements. So nature or nurture, which is it? We're ultimately an adaptive species. There is just no evidence that gender differences are hardwired from birth, that one's upbringing and culture have absolutely no bearing on how we come (or rather, learn) to behave and think in a gendered manner. And surely, if it's environmental factor(s) that we speak of, isn't the outcome something subject to flux and change? After all, some people speak of so-called 'traditional family values' but what exactly are these values and what's so fucking traditional or valuable about them? Have they always been there, somehow inscrutable, unchanged and unflinching in an iron-wrought manner, for all eternity? I think not. Just look at attitudes towards, say homosexuality across time in a place like China (or India, for that matter). There is simply nothing traditional, Confucian or even vaguely 'Asian' (duh!) about the moral crusades that certain sections of the ruling elite like to embark on from time to time. The evidence speaks for itself. It's all too easy for one to forget the political dimension of the matter, that these values are invoked precisely because they are productive for certain social classes, and their interests. Personally, I do not want or need anything to do with this crap at all. Hahaha, I think I actually used to be a lot more militant and confrontational about things like this, but now I just don't give a fuck. I mean, live and let live lor. Seriously, if all this family values bullshit works for you, fine, go ahead, be my guest and live out your life according to your code. But just leave me alone. Don't fucking get preachy with me and dictate to me so-called rights and wrongs from the lofty, self-elevated heights of your self-righteous, sanctimonious 'moral' position. You have your life and I make my own choices. Let us all respect that. I'm okay that you think I'm a punk that sticks out but don't keep knocking me down - I bite back occasionally. Anyway, nobody appointed you my guardian, yeah? You don't speak to me and you certainly don't speak FOR me. If I'm not harming or affecting anyone else (whether in a direct, overt manner or otherwise), don't come barking at me all the time telling me what is good and what is evil. I am mature enough to tell, and to decide for myself. Seriously, is good and evil, right and wrong that unambiguous, that unproblematic? For me at least, it NEVER is. Doesn't mean I'm immoral or amoral. Just that I take morality a whole lot more seriously than a lot of people. Anyway, back to the gender issue: in all truth, is it really 'tradition', 'morality' and 'values' that the self-appointed spokespersons for the so-called 'moral majority' are defending? Or is it PATRIARCHY?

I love women. The sex helps. But I'm also capable of treating them like bosom buddies or people that I can look up to and admire. And that's beyond looking at my mum and all the sacrifices she has made. Women who are capable and ambitious do not frighten or intimidate me. Why shouldn't they, in this day and age, aspire to the same things as men? I remember back in uni, how there will always be more vocal and assertive people who make their views known in classes, both gals and boys. Yet people always seem to cut the males a lot more slack - they're just expressing the alpha within them by trying to be so domineering but no, if it's a girl showing how smart, well-read or dogged she is, people start talking, 'what a disgusting smartass...what a bitch...she ought to be put in her place etc...' Doesn't help if the girl in question looks a bit nerdy or different. Sadly, the whole gender role thing is so deeply ingrained, so unconsciously self-imposed that it's often the girls who end up making the most uncomfortable and unkind remarks (on the side, of course). But just exactly is the place that intrepid individuals like that ought to be relocated to? Shut them away so they'll shut up and not disturb one's pseudo-Facist sexist sense of 'order'? What if women just ARE smarter? Just look at college entrance rates across the world and you'll understand. Women are somehow doing better than men, often even in areas like engineering and the hard sciences that were traditionally considered the cherished and impenetrable porte and domain of men, even in societies that are traditionally very patriarchal and where women still have a lot less room for social advancement (e.g. Iran). And didn't NUS have to massage and tweak their entrance processes for the faculty of medicine for a number of years already because if they had been completely meritocratic, you would have arrived at a considerable gender imbalance? Still, I just don't understand why people are so intolerant of difference. Even if the smartass is really all that insufferable, why don't you see it as a case of bad socialization and inept manners? I wouldn't write off the gender dimension completely but why see EVERYTHING in the monochromatic light of gender relations? I mean, in the course of work, one encounters assholic cunts all the time; they're simply everywhere: your unappreciative, under-qualified bitch (gender-neutral usage) of a boss, your uncooperative, selfish and back-stabbing colleague, crappy subpar vendors, ignorant and demanding clients, the list goes on - nasty, prissy bastards with a thumb stuck permanently up their back passages, but why single out some as truly perfidious villains, JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE FEMALE!? Don't lift things out of context so conveniently. If anything, the men are equally guilty, if not worse. Is your manhood, your pride and your sense of masculinity so fragile that it will be torn to shreds just because some woman behaved like a cunt in front of you? Or just because some woman is doing better than you (in terms of career development, material well-being or otherwise), or demands and desires more than what you'll ever demand or desire for yourself? Where is the 'real man' in you? Please don't make everything out to be a gender issue because doing so detracts from the fact that we're surrounded by too many self-indulgent, disgusting maggots in reality - and in most cases, the important question of why this is so really isn't a inquiry about gender at all. I'll say I can't stand that bitch, not because she's an ambitious hard-hitting woman who doesn't know her place in the society and the larger scheme of things but because she's just simply a nasty, negative and cruel person. Period. I can only conclude that all things considered, there is simply nothing ESSENTIALLY all that different between women and men, and that the discernible divide has a lot more to do with learned behaviour, embedded social structures and salient cultural codes (which are a lot more dynamic than we typically think) than anything else. I try to treat all the women I encounter as I would treat men (I don't buy all that 'gentlemanly courtesy' BS at all). Like people. You treat somebody for who he or she really is, not because superficially, she is a woman, he a gay or whatever. And respect and understanding is earned, it comes from knowing more about someone, and not merely from the rank on someone's uniform, or just because a person is a man, a father or placed in whatever position. Yes, I admit it's hard, not just to unlearn all that programmed shit, but also because from time to time, one is also aware of the sexual dimension involved (at least for me, I am, haha). But that's only one aspect out of so many. Women aren't JUST sexual beings (and worse, sex objects). Or wives, sisters and daughters. They are these. And a lot more. One can perhaps never run away from sexual tensions and gender wars but they do not determine everything, do they? I guess for women, it's already quite tough to struggle against the proverbial glass ceiling that has been put in place by an entrenched patriarchy, one constantly reinventing itself. But does it mean that we don't try at all, especially if we're living in this supposedly more enlightened and liberated age?

[anathem]

A lot of times, we speak of race and nationality when we're actually speaking about class. Yes, that'll be socio-economic class. Everyone belongs somewhere, but where exactly? As a country, Singapore has seen truly gargantuan social and economic changes in the past half-century. Of course the haves and the have-nots still exist within this society. The elites still do what they will, while the downtrodden plebes, what they must. But as a whole (am speaking in broad strokes that are admittedly simplistic to begin with), the entire society has been leapfrogged much of the rest of the region and moved up the ladder in the international division of labour. Expectations change with exposure. Again, on pain of sounding like I'm making a sweeping generalization, Gen Y in Singapore is noticeably different from Gen X, which is itself also rather different from the generation of the Baby Boomers. As a Gen Xer, I find it hard to communicate with and understand the motivations of many of those of the incoming generation, particularly those born in more privileged circumstances. They seem to have it all too (amazingly) easy, being born into an interconnected world where just about everything (information, entertainment etc etc.) is so readily and effortlessly available. So what if they're brash, confident, good at multi-tasking, tech-savvy and bursting with 'ideas'? Means jackshit when they all seem to suffer from perpetual boredom, ADD, inflated egos and an exaggerated sense of self-entitlement. Has life been too kind to them? How different it was when 'we' were growing up in the eighties. Yes, they (the young ones) are very spoilt, even more so than people of my generation but we've ALL played a big role in contributing to what the next generation is turning out to be, no? 'Singaporean women' are materialistic? No, it's just this fucked up society that is materialistic, that has chosen to value certain transient things and shallow postures more than substance and depth. You reap what you sow, I say. Just ask the PAP...just ask them what their political legitimacy is built upon, just ask them the kinda elitist, selfish and pampered attitudes they help foster through their education (and other) policies, particularly in the so-called elite schools. Don't blame 'western' materialism, this has nothing to do with that boring and crass 'us vs. them' debate. Let's face it, you've built a society that worships wealth, success, excess, youth and more. How else would you explain the media frenzy over the death of a pretty, young yuppie (albeit under admittedly unusual and 'news-worthy' conditions) when many, many other far more tragic tales go unnoticed and unreported, right under your nose. Ever stepped into the Singaporean equivalent of a ghetto recently, dudes? Out of sight is out of mind. And while we all play an active role in reproducing this reality, who ultimately made this place so? You force 'your' people to embrace modernity through a crash course in up-to-date capitalism and you expect the material and cultural aspects of the capitalist way not to be infectious? What rubbish. Materialism is an inalienable aspect of capitalism. It is part and parcel of its cultural logic. All those goods and services produced, somebody's going to have to buy them, right? Talk about all the 'wealth' generated, huh? Ironically, didn't modern capitalism arise in the 'West' in the first place? You want the wealth, but you decry the culture on ideological grounds, whether in terms of consumerism or political freedoms. No wonder the draconian and xenophobic shitheads in the PRC are so eager to learn from 'us'. Sounds like big-time hypocrisy to me, whichever way you look at it. In many cases, the young are merely taking after the excesses of the preceding generation. And why pick on the girls when the boys are probably worse!? You start young with your iPhone, your PSP, your designer skateboards and overpriced T-shirts. You want the best and only that - you go to a good 'branded' school - primary, secondary, JC, beg your parents to blag their way (on your behalf) through to the gates of OCS, bag an overseas scholarship (Ivy League or Oxbridge preferably), work in some stat board for a few months and then break your bond because you want to see the world and work in the New York or Hong Kong office of a Fortune 500 company...but you're not satisfied, you never are, you want a Porsche 911 next...wait, make that a 911 Turbo, a swanky 40th-floor unit with a view to kill for at The Sail, SICC membership, Hugo Boss suits, Prada cuff-links, a Rolex Submariner (or two), a cellar full of the best selection from Château Pétrus, 30-year old Lagavulin single malts to impress your investment banker golf buddies, vintage Eames furniture, Infinity Reference Standard V speakers and matching amps to blast your abhorrently de rigeur indie-pop collection with, Piedmontese white truffles if only because your boss got some too, birthday parties in a yacht off Santorini...etc. etc. etc...tsk tsk, where does it ever end? Sure, I exaggerate, but my point is that being obsessed about Ferragamo shoes and Birkins shouldn't be taken out of context. The issue here is unbridled materialism and unmitigated conspicuous consumption, and not the failings of women (Singaporean or not). I am sure a Ferrari 599 (or the Honda Civic Type R for those more economically challenged; but hey, the current four-door Japanese market version is certainly one of the best handling FWD cars you can buy today!) is a blast to drive but is it fair to say that it has intrinsically more substance than a classic Chanel 2.55 (other than costing a helluva lot more)? I just fail to see how - for this all has nothing to do with class (in the other sense of the word)...how exactly classy is excessive, eh? But that's all subjective, of course. Just don't be blind to your double standards. I would rather be dead than to aspire to this kind of lifestyle but I guess if you can afford it (and if you can afford spending your whole life stepping all over people without a pinch of guilt just so you can achieve your goals and dreams), by all means, go ahead. It's none of my business and I can't care less. For me (to paraphrase Palahniuk), I know I am not my job. I am not how much money I have in the bank. I am not the car I drive. I am not the contents of my wallet. And I am certainly not an 'OCS Temburong Jungle Training' singlet.

[anathem]

Perhaps it's not so much one's gender per se, but the interplay of assigned gender roles as well as gendered expectations, with one's upbringing and the wider social milieu (both 'local', 'regional' and 'global') that produces some of the behavioural traits so vividly described by some bros. It is not that I wish to question the veracity of your accounts, for I too have encountered individuals matching what has been depicted here. What I perhaps disagree with, is probably the sweeping and all too inclusive conclusions that are drawn. Let's not jump the gun and confuse effect with co-relation or cause. I won't deny that I am also very irritated by some women who pretend to wear some sort of pseudo-feminist badge, but only as a matter of convenience. They demand this, that and some other, think they're at the bloody centre of the universe, and lambast men or lesser women (in their distorted opinion, of course) for failings that are their own. Then they turn around and tell you they feel oppressed. YOU? You're discriminated against? REALLY? Ahem, perhaps to a very little extent, but look at the BMW 335i coupe you're driving - seems like you've forgotten just how privileged you are, vis-à-vis the rest of 'society', on a real-life day-to-day level, huh? Anyway, you can't call yourself a fucking feminist if you still expect preferential treatment from men, can you? Are men expected to be your porters and your wallets all the time? Grown some backbone and show some pride, dignity and integrity, please! And fuck all that door-opening and chair-pulling shit...Don't you have hands and feet? Just what are they for? And while you ponder that, how about just being a little bit more comfortable with who and what you really are? Some kind of feminist huh, when you still subscribe to patriarchal notions of womanhood and femininity, not to mention, stilted and cheesy notions of 'romance'; some kind of feminist indeed, when you still doll yourself up like some tart just to conform to some silly and self-defeating sexualized notion of beauty, just to pander to the male gaze you ought to denounce (at least as a feminist). How about some self-empowerment for once!? Don't you have a mirror? And what is it about the word 'h-y-p-o-c-r-i-t-e' that you can't see in yourself? But I wouldn't say that shit like this happens just because some people happen to be both female and Singaporean. The malaise isn't restricted to these shores for sure. I've encountered women like that in Malaysia, in HK, in the UK etc. It has to do more with the arrogance and complacency that easy success breeds amongst people of a certain social background. Some people just take things for granted. And once you remove the complex gendered aspects, you find that a lot of guys do seem to have the same problem too. I definitely remember this start-up that I worked with for a while, full of vile and fake cunts who all thought they were so different when they were really just so conformist and so fucking play-by-the-(dirty)-rules TYPICAL, and whose ideas of 'alternative' or indie seemed to only be limited to their wardrobes. Guess what, in this case, there were more seriously grating men than womenfolk! Pretense is gender-blind. Anyway, I have a good friend who is half-Polish and half-Japanese, grew up in Australia and Germany and carries a UK passport. A few years ago, he had a project in Bangkok and kind of just went native after that. He's a great guy but always had a coterie of rather questionable acquaintances no matter where he went. Thailand has been no differnt. Now he hangs out regularly with a bunch of hi-so Thai folks from the elite and upper-upper middle class and I've met quite a few of them a number of times. Seriously, I don't see much difference between the women in this bunch and the local girls attested to in this thread, the obvious things aside. What some of the bros described would actually fit these bitches to a tee. I mean they're loaded and all (with family wealth, I suppose), but they're not even as erudite, cosmopolitan, conversant, well-mannered, well-travelled, well-informed or smart (or even particularly well-educated) as you would expect people of their socio-economic background to be. And what's with pretending to be who they really are not, or acting in such an affected fashion just to get some cheap attention? What a bunch of disgusting culture vultures and creeps! It's kind of off-putting. Yes, these people are really annoying, irritating and detestable, but it's not just the women but the men as well. And I would also never conclude, from these limited encounters, that all Thai women, or even that most upper middle class Thai women are like that. Simply because I ought to know better. If nothing else, also because the handful of Thai nationals that I otherwise know, of any gender, do not conform to this characterization. There is a battery of specific reasons why 'society' is churning out a particularly visible segment of pretentious cunts but this isn't a question of nationality or gender alone. There are many cleavages in life, gender is merely one of them. In this case, the issue is really more a function of social class, more than anything. I guess as Thailand (and not far behind, Vietnam) develops further and plugs itself more into the global economy, we'd see more and more of these poseurs, just like here in Singapore. That's already simplifying things a couple of notches too many but never mind. National and gender stereotypes, even if informed by some sort of banal, quotidian 'truths', shouldn't be used all too conveniently all the time.

I know there are some morons out there who think they know ALL about women, and who have their own preferences, at least when it comes down to WLs - they think women from this city in China are the prettiest, those from that province in Vietnam the gentlest etc. etc. And every time they encounter some equally unqualified rubbish comment from another idiot with a similarly limited vision, they take it as incontrovertible evidence that they were right all along. Yeah, the same fools who think they're in love with every WL they meet and who think the reverse is always true as well. Hey, chances are, if you don't mind me making a sweeping statement, they're only in love with what you can do for them. I don't think all foreign WLs are gold-digging schemers but one should also be more circumspect. Then again, what do I know about love (as it is understood by these guys)? It's none of my business. My point is that some people can make ridiculous extrapolations based just on their very limited experiences. If you've never dated a 'local girl', as some of them readily admit, what accounts for the authority you claim in making assertions that 'foreign' ones are better? What is the source of your insight? Imparted knowledge from your limited group of friends? Rumours? Hearsay? Urban folklore? And that's on top of the fact that the bulk of the encounters of these people with foreign women are based almost exclusively on situations centered around commercial sex - I mean, this sounds almost like a huge understatement, but doesn't that strike you as just a little extraordinary? Surely, there's more to PRC women (for example), outside of the fly-by-night marriage bureaus, cheap TN joints, tacky girlie bars and sleazy bordellos that you fellows frequent. Have you ever met, talked to, and befriended a female chinese national who is for example, a lawyer, a banker, a career PLA officer, a government bureaucrat, a university researcher, a factory worker, a peasant, or even a toilet cleaner for that matter? I can assure you my very capable female PRC colleagues are no different from Singaporean women, in general. If anything, they are even more ambitious, self-centred and materialistic though I shan't trap myself into drawing any over-generalized sort of conclusion. But in all truth, go ahead and carry on with your sordid lifestyle, continuing with your demented notions or whatever, it matters not one cent to me. Just don't go around making insipid comments - while I never take them seriously, they're also just asking to be mocked at, if not shot down outright.

[anathem]

The world is divided. And unfairly so. Singapore has made great 'progress', but it's still nowhere near the cutting edge. Nevertheless, expectations have ballooned out of proportion. People now have access to the world, and they want it to be their oyster. I guess you can't really blame those so-called 'SPGs'. I know quite a few local girls who will only date white men (the selective ones will only take those from certain countries, specific social backgrounds and precise jobs), and others who have somehow just ended up with 'Caucasian' partners, and while I totally disagree with the basis that some of them have used for making their decisions, particularly the internalized and inverted racism involved in many cases, I can also understand what they are talking about. In the same vein, I can also see the point of view raised by some bros regarding their preferences for foreign women, even if I do not agree with the overarching assumptions that underpin their choices and arguments. Every situation and relationship will always be kind of unique. No two examples are perfectly identical. Even if you choose to go out with or even marry someone from a less developed economy, it may not be strictly about 'downgrading', just as when it comes to local gals who just prefer foreign guys, it may not necessarily be a case of 'upgrading'. I have a female Singaporean banker friend whose time and life is split between London and New York; now, she commands a considerably LARGER paycheck than her Welsh beau, who is well-remunerated in his own right but who is, well, shall we say, simply in a different industry; their relationship however, is as boring, but as stable, as it can be. On the other hand, this male Chinese Singaporean buddy of mine used to have a Portuguese GF for five years (half of which was conducted long-distant). He wouldn't 'downgrade' to a non-White chick after that, though he'll never admit to it. He's still looking out for his next big thing. It's a complicated set of issues, to be honest, and to understand stand it requires peeling back many axes of division, many layers of overlaid and often conflicting impulses and ideologies. I guess that given the social and economic disparity between countries, it's hard not to see relationships falling into this context as having some sort of differential-driven dynamic (where gender intersects with socio-economic realities). I don't think it's possible NOT to see a relationship between a Singaporean man and say, an average-income girl from Vietnam, for example, as something specifically exploiting the economic disparity between the two countries in question (in addition to other unequal, gender-related perspectives). In fact, it's quite unavoidable. Maybe 'Singaporean women' in general (again, ignoring for a moment the sweeping nature of the term) are really more demanding now that their country has moved up the rungs of development. On top of that, Singapore has seen social and cultural changes to a greater extent than say, Korea or Japan, because there has been no real linguistic barrier to act as a filter of 'external' cultural influences. Having been exposed to a lot more things, it's no wonder why expectations and preferences have changed, even for the most average person here. And given the prevailing (if preposterous) gender climate where women are always expected to 'marry up', it's also easy to understand why their demands and requirements have also multiplied, exponentially in some cases. I suppose that's why some bros will rather go for 'village girls' from China, Vietnam, Thailand or wherever. They're supposedly simpler, less demanding (I guess anything better than subsistence would probably be a pleasant surprise and bonus for the poorest of them all), make better mothers and homemakers, and would probably be so grateful for their ticket out of poverty and despair that they would even turn a blind eye to the philandering of their husbands. Do your cost-benefit or SWOT analysis. It's plain and simple economics, stupid! But let's not typecast. Sometimes it's not just about a better life but the lifestyle you're accustomed to, especially when you move up the ladder. I once had two American-educated Korean colleagues who explained to me why they would never date Korean men (SPGs have their analogues across Asia, even in the more developed bits, you know). Having been immersed in an environment where they could be a lot more vocal, assertive and successful than they would otherwise be in their homeland (condemned to a lesser existence, mostly just because they are women), they simply weren't interested in what they saw as just a nation of unrepentant MCPs. It's actually a bit more complicated, as they explained to me, it wasn't just the Korean men from RoK who were like that, a minority of Korean Americans happened to have the same sexist attitudes too! Interestingly, one of them admitted that it's not so much that she thinks ALL Korean men are conservative, egotistical and misogynistic pricks, but so many are, and she just can't be fibbed to go through round after round of meet-ups, wasting time and effort trying and hoping to meet someone who can accept her on equal terms, who can live with who she is. Sounds familiar?

Haha, I really liked the shit about bimbotic talk that has been raised. Seriously, I have no problems tuning in to girl-talk and in fact, taking an active, participative role in the said activities. If you love your partner, shouldn't you take an interest in what she's interested in, hahaha? But I suppose it has more to do with the fact that I'm naturally curious and have an opinion on just about everything. If there's anything banal about conversations in general, it's got nothing to do with gender. Seriously, day-to-day discourse is hardly 'intellectual' in nature (even when it's so-cakled 'serious') and as one bro pointed out so brilliantly, neither you or I are intellectuals by any count. So what if your conversation strays into 'serious' topics occasionally, most of the exchange is just going to give the topic at hand a very casual and cosmetic treatment, right? Let's face it, you're not going to have an exuberant debate about Grigori Perelman's solution to the Poincaré conjecture every day. Just as you're not going to pull out some obscure statistical journal covering international trade between Singapore and the Democratic Republic of São Tomé and Príncipe and start yabbering about some tiny footnote located under some eye-poppingly complex chart or graph, certainly not over lunch. And you're probably equally unlikely to go into a nuanced and detailed discussion about the concept of proportionality in international law with respect to the current Israeli assault in Gaza when you're meeting up with your mates over pints of bitter. I like 'serious' conversations, but I also enjoy nonsensical, mindless banter. It's just part of life and there's no hiding who and what we are. And I always think, would I rather, on the other hand, engage in some pretentious, ersatz-serious interview with some self-important hoity-toity arse who take himself or herself too seriously all the time? The answer is clear. And who is to say certain modes of knowledge, certain varieties of conversational content is to be labelled mindless and meaningless, and which isn't? Bimbotic? What about himbotic? How is endless soothsaying over the potential line-ups for the weekend EPL or Serie A games any more substantial, interesting or worthy than a technical discussion about the merits of different brands of mascara? How is a verbal treatise on camber rates, wastegate modifications and other assorted tricks involved in pimping one's ride supposedly more intelligent, heavyweight or valuable than an intense analysis of the different sorts of leather used in a particular line of handbags? Why cast the stone so easily? Why accuse when one is equally guilty? Just remember that old adage about banter - how it's 'gossip' when women chatter, but 'talking politics' when the men open their mouths. Isn't there something very sexist and patriarchal about what and how so many of us think?

[anathem]

Fundamentally, I don't see how having a partner of another 'race', ethnicity or nationality is a problem at all. Building bridges is always a good thing after all. And getting out of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to understand realities and circumstances you were never too familiar with can only be a good thing. Just be a bit sure about the soundness of your underlying assumptions, that's all. Ultimately, the color of a partner's skin or her passport isn't an issue to me whatsoever. I don't know...love, sex, marriage and procreation are substantially different aspects of life. Certain politicians enjoy lumping them together but they need not even be discussed in the same breath, actually. Besides, modern relationships and pseudo-relationships take many forms. A GF is different from an FB, just as a wife is different from a mistress. Is life-long monogamy dead? I don't know. What did you think this forum was set up for? I have seen enough relationships and marriages amongst my friends and acquaintances ending up in acrimonious breakups and stormy divorces to just be a bit suspicious about them. Whether it's a marriage or just a long-term close-ended relationship, sustaining that partnership takes time and effort. Are people prepared to put in that? Do they know the ride they are in for? I really don't know. I know a local bloke in a loveless (to me) marriage with a local woman. He's still stuck in it out of fear, obligation and guilt. Doesn't even have the courage to do himself a favour and stray (or visit some WLs), hahaha. I have also seen a couple whom I once thought to be the perfect lovebirds let their relationship slowly decay to an explosive point of no return. If only they had bothered to communicate a little better. But who am I to say, I can only imagine what their subjective realities and priorities are, even if they are both close friends to me. And I am also acquainted with a Malaysian girl that almost drove her Spanish BF mad with her neediness, paranoia and psychosis. They have since split (after a very violent last few months), but neither of them are quite the same as before anymore. Doesn't seem very optimistic, yeah? At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if your passport colors are identical or different - it's just one topping on a pizza with tons of other flavors and embellishments. That is not to say that socio-economic and cultural differences are not important in a relationship. I think they are, at least to me. Can you love someone if you can't even speak the same language? Can you find companionship, intimacy and understanding when communication is only belabored and compromised, at best? I don't think I can ever. But you might just find someone a lot more similar or matching from outside your 'society' or 'culture' than within. It's largely a question of lifestyle, orientations, education and sadly, socio-economic background (which is why, the fucking aside, I doubt I can ever accept a peasant as a regular partner). Anyway, if the opportunities are open to you, why not, right? Anyway, you don't actually have to be very similar, but the important thing (as it is with EVERY relationship, and not just inter-cultural or inter-ethnic ones) is to find a complimentary match, to balance your personal existence and your shared life and to give each other some space. Why should a relationship lead to the extinguishing of the self for the benefit of the 'us'? I really can't stand girls, and I think this isn't a Singaporean, Chinese or Asian thing, who just want to take total control over their partner's life. You can be a guy's priority in many areas, but you can't possibly be his No.1 focus in EVERYTHING. He still has his life, he still has himself. Please respect that. Don't try to own, control or erase him. Conversely, one must also express discomfiture at men who seem to have double standards when it comes to the lives of their wives and those of their own, men who expect their women to be a nice, ornamental piece at home and outside, but who in reality give them scant respect and attention. Shame on you. Though like I said, it's really none of my beeswax. I think what I would desire is just a dependable companion, or what some would call a soulmate. Faithfulness and loyalty (as well as one's fitness as a parent etc.) are completely different issues, really, and not particularly important to me. You know, you come home after a fucked up day at the office and you just want somebody to talk to, some kind of sane normalcy to sink back into. Someone whom you're able to engage in a humorous exchange about why Liverpool DOESN'T deserve to be the 2008/2009 EPL champions with, even though she doesn't follow football at all. Someone whom you can sit through the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica with, sharing some engrossed chitchat about the show's treatment of fidelity, monogamy and relationships throughout, even though she's not a science-fiction nut or particularly interested in gender studies. Someone whom you will be quite happy to indulge on a food-hunt with, just to settle the debate over whether the Char Kway Teow at Serangoon Gardens Food Centre is indeed better than the old Hill Street example (now in Bedok), even though neither she or you are a gourmand. It's simple things, yet complicated things. Somebody for the bad days, as well as the good days. Somebody to walk down the street with, and when we hit something novel and different, admit to each other that we don't know, before asking in unison, 'shall we find out together?' That's right, somebody to discover and explore life with. Maybe I really am over- romanticizing things, I don't know. But it's hardly a tall order that I speak of. But at the end of the day, idealized scenarios aside, I'm independent and comfortable enough with myself to be single. You don't always need that special someone else. Not all the time, and possibly not even some of the time. If you have it, you have it, if you don't, there's no need to fret about it. You don't need a relationship to find validity and meaning. I'm fine with growing old alone. It doesn't have to be lonely or lacking in fulfillment. Too bad too many people (both women and men of whatever nationality) can't say the same. But what do I care?

[LostALau]

i also see alot of couple within the same Uni leh but in the end they will get marry anot? Most guys i think want their wife to be lower educated than them (got feeling of superior) imagine ur wife earning more than you :eek:

I am almost on the same educational level as my OC. Actually, I am a bit better. However, everytime we argue, she will say, 'You very clever meh, you same level as me only.' :mad:

[Glock]

this kinda funny mood swing behaviour is nthing new for local girls. just to give u an example of mine, i used to chat on MSN with a local girl on and off whenever online. 1 morning i saw her online and MSN her a msg 'good morning' and guess what? she blocked and deleted me frm her contact list.

hahahahha

wahlau.... SG girls damn fucked up


well i guess she might have had a really tough morning that day and i suay then.:D

even then no excuse,can just dont reply to you right?
or even better tell you how bad her morning is,you can give some "support"

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Wow, happening...
1st we were invaded by 1 liners...now got people writing thesis.....i love this place:D

[Wooden_Handle]

I know your feeling bro..:p

Wow, happening...

[HCKing]

hahahahha

wahlau.... SG girls damn fucked up
even then no excuse,can just dont reply to you right?
or even better tell you how bad her morning is,you can give some "support"

ya lor, think alot of local girls nwadays want guys to be super sensitive towards them. must be super super sensitive towards their mood, their needs, their wants etc. i have dated such girls b4, sometimes feel more siong than doing my work.:rolleyes:

[glooper83]

ya lor, think alot of local girls nwadays want guys to be super sensitive towards them. must be super super sensitive towards their mood, their needs, their wants etc. i have dated such girls b4, sometimes feel more siong than doing my work.:rolleyes:

Yup, at one time i consider it like one whole subject itself while still studying. Learning something new about the girl everyday, have to attend her lectures, do homework, do projects (surprise her with nice stuff) , make presentation (arguements). Every few months, one big exam will come and test our relationship. Very vvery tiring. :(

Ps Bro DYBJ: haha, thats also partly what i felt so disgusted about last time. But then i realised that i was also coming up with one-liners occasionally.

[glooper83]

ya lor, think alot of local girls nwadays want guys to be super sensitive towards them. must be super super sensitive towards their mood, their needs, their wants etc. i have dated such girls b4, sometimes feel more siong than doing my work.:rolleyes:

Yup, at one time i consider it like one whole subject itself while still studying. Learning something new about the girl everyday, have to attend her lectures, do homework, do projects (surprise her with nice stuff) , make presentation (arguements). Every few months, one big exam will come and test our relationship. Very vvery tiring. :(

Ps Bro DYBJ: haha, thats also partly what i felt so disgusted about last time. But then i realised that i was also coming up with one-liners occasionally.

[glooper83]

sorry triple post.. is anyone experiencing troubles logging on to this forum? or is it just me?

[HCKing]

Yup, at one time i consider it like one whole subject itself while still studying. Learning something new about the girl everyday, have to attend her lectures, do homework, do projects (surprise her with nice stuff) , make presentation (arguements). Every few months, one big exam will come and test our relationship. Very vvery tiring. :(

Ps Bro DYBJ: haha, thats also partly what i felt so disgusted about last time. But then i realised that i was also coming up with one-liners occasionally.

the jia lat part is only u alone is doing the whole subject to her she is like the lecturer doing all the grading thats all. like that confirm very tiring and also boring.
relationship gt to be 2 ways, to give and take. sad to see nwadays girls only interested to take but reluctant or dont knw how to give.:(

[Jarko]

i really salute bro anathem sia.. long story but nt bad leh.. this threada is really gd wor..

[HCKing]

i really salute bro anathem sia.. long story but nt bad leh.. this threada is really gd wor..

can award him SBF thesis of the year liao. hahaha.

[cablesnwires]

can award him SBF thesis of the year liao. hahaha.

Yeah, i agree. But note the time he posted all his dissertation. He must have prepared it in a word processing document before posting. Most are within 2, 3 minutes of each post.

But credit goes to him / her, for at least spending the time to do the write-ups.

[fee3fow]

Erm anyone can summary what Bro anathem say i a paragrah? i see so many words i headache already la his ang mo so chim somemore :p

[mike1304k]

Erm anyone can summary what Bro anathem say i a paragrah? i see so many words i headache already la his ang mo so chim somemore :p

Hehehe... my eyes were crossed too by the end of the thesis.

Not being against local gals... I have had some and also foreigners.. It is up to you to find the best mix of qualities you are looking for and also the mix they are looking for. It takes two hands to clap as they always say.

I also have an ex who is local and who is still a great friend of mine though we broke up some time ago and it was a bit rocky in the beginning. But now that we have learnt to live our own lives, we are happy.

I think that Bro Anathem was talking against people who think that they are above local girl standards or some thing like that and also how some only have experience with WL. But I think that the two are different worlds all-together. Some guys may want to fall in love with WL's, some don't. Some like locals, but some don't. Please do not flame me if I say my personal feeling, but if we do not know what we want, then we will never be happy even when we have it.

[sherrry]

Erm anyone can summary what Bro anathem say i a paragrah? i see so many words i headache already la his ang mo so chim somemore :p I think he might had failed his english essay, cos he didn't know when to break the paragraphs. I was lost reading after trying, so I totally skipped it.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I think he might had failed his english essay, cos he didn't know when to break the paragraphs. I was lost reading after trying, so I totally skipped it.

That's called wanting to deliberately IRRITATE!
I didnt even bother reading it......
So those who tried, you fell into his trap liao hahaha

[123456787654321]

I got a funny feeling that this SG Men VS Women notion has been greatly exaggerated and encouraged over the years by the media, for whatever "divide and rule" purpose as dictated by higher authority. If you notice they're always playing things up like "foreign men vs local men" and "local men/foreign brides and expat men/local brides", just like "cosmopolitans vs heartlanders". Everything is versus, yar, our society is so competitive we compete on how much we can segregate each other as well, wonderful.

Anyway, as far as my experience goes, it took me a long time to realise that you don't concentrate on girls who aren't interested in you, you just concentrate on those who are. Papers say SG women are better educated and more demanding? Who gives a shit, you don't like that kind of woman, don't look for them. TV says 40% of SG men marry foreign brides. Wow, implication that either majority of SG women are too lousy to marry or majority of SG men are not good enough for SG women. Who gives a shit, it's just a number. You find your own girl, why let a number affect you? Next thing you know, wow, 99.99% of SG women find expats to be better lovers than SG men, 99.99% of SG women find SG men's dicks to be too small, 99.99% of SG women think SG men are inferior. What are you going to do, fume? Fuck that, who gives a shit? Find your own girl/girls and find one to your own satisfaction. Frankly I don't think I've met many nasty stuck-up girls, graduates or not, rich or not, pretty or not.

[colins]

......
Everything is versus, yar, our society is so competitive we compete on how much we can segregate each other as well, wonderful.

Anyway, as far as my experience goes, it took me a long time to realise that you don't concentrate on girls who aren't interested in you, you just concentrate on those who are. Papers say SG women are better educated and more demanding? Who gives a shit, you don't like that kind of woman, don't look for them. TV says 40% of SG men marry foreign brides. Wow, implication that either majority of SG women are too lousy to marry or majority of SG men are not good enough for SG women. Who gives a shit, it's just a number. You find your own girl, why let a number affect you? Next thing you know, wow, 99.99% of SG women find expats to be better lovers than SG men, 99.99% of SG women find SG men's dicks to be too small, 99.99% of SG women think SG men are inferior. What are you going to do, fume? Fuck that, who gives a shit? Find your own girl/girls and find one to your own satisfaction. Frankly I don't think I've met many nasty stuck-up girls, graduates or not, rich or not, pretty or not.

Wah got attitude...I like.

Such numbers do give a false head start. But I guess with many foreign girls willing to 'go the extra mile' for a better life that local girls already have, there is a reason behind the scene which we sought to understand. Whether it is an after-meal topic or a life-affecting decision, of cos it is up to individuals. In the first place, our characters tend to mirror the crowd we dwell in. So there you go, a choice on who to mix with.

[cablesnwires]

I am curious, what's the divorce rate among local guys / local gals, versus foreign guys / local gals and local guys / foreign girls?

Also when a foreign girl wanted to divorce the local guy, it is said that she got what she wanted (PR status). What about a local girl divorcing the local guy? Isn't it we stereotyping on the part of the foreign girl， just because the foreign girl has that additional element of having a PR status?

[anathem]

He must have prepared it in a word processing document before posting. Most are within 2, 3 minutes of each post.

Haha. Actually, I just took an awfully long time to type it into the same stupid text entry window as you would any other post. After that, it was just a cut and paste job to fit the (per post) maximum character limit.

Erm anyone can summary what Bro anathem say i a paragrah? :p

Well, if I really had to summarize all that verbiage into a concise phrase, it'll go something like this: 'Debates such as this are often flawed, biased and somewhat lacking in objectivity; anyone taking a closer look can easily see the fallacious and self-serving nature of many of the arguments.'

I think he might had failed his english essay, cos he didn't know when to break the paragraphs. I was lost reading after trying, so I totally skipped it.

It's true that people have pointed out that i have a problem with long sentences and even more draggy paragraphs. And some bitch did fail my GP paper a long time ago for related reasons, though that was principally more a result of illegible handwriting. In the Uni, I guess I had some run-ins with a couple of lecturers over the style and form of my papers but it was never anything major. But I suppose you are right. Whether it's a handwritten or word processed document, shorter paragraphs do provide a smoother and more legible reading experience.

That's called wanting to deliberately IRRITATE!
I didnt even bother reading it......
So those who tried, you fell into his trap liao hahaha

Hahaha. Honestly, it was all some sort of thought experiment to me. In a selfish sense perhaps, I was merely thinking out aloud. And I don't think I included anything content-wise to even suggest that irritation was possibly an intention, or did I? If deliberate provocation was intended, there are obviously more economical and logical means that could have been used. Heh, traps also happen to be quite anathema to myself and my principles; I'm vegan and have no obvious need for them. :p But the kind bro is entitled to his opinion, of course. Seriously, whether he or anyone bothers to read the aforementioned posts or not does nothing for, and is of little interest or relevance to me.

I got a funny feeling that this SG Men VS Women notion has been greatly exaggerated and encouraged over the years by the media, for whatever "divide and rule" purpose as dictated by higher authority.

Well said, bro. Drawing sweeping and simplistic boundaries while reducing everything to a series of ridiculous binary oppositions is precisely what is so ultimately pointless about this sort of everyday discourse. At the end of the day, people just got to realize that they are merely lesser mortals in the eyes of the elite and only semi-conscious agents in a prison they were born into. Better to get focused on what you want out of life on your own terms, and not just those dictated by the system, an all-pervasive matrix of controls that even decide the limits of sensibility in one's thoughts.

[glooper83]

I think this topic has gone far enough with everyone having his/her opinions.

For some people, like me, i believe that my biggest decision/investment/asset in my life would be my wife and family thereafter. It is the only reason that i am (quoting from the movie Beautiful Mind). Money, career will always come and can be changed fairly easily without moral obligations. Family on the other hand is more tricky with a lot of relationship issues. Though it IS the 21st century right now and divorces are not as much as a taboo in the past, i still would like to get it right on the first attempt.

Experience in relationships plays a huge part in my development, i definitely get serious in relationships but if it doesnt work then just move on. Black, white, chinese, indian, Sg, foreigner, it all does'nt matter to me as long as i am attracted to her and her to me. As long as there is a mutual first attraction, i am always keen to give the relationship a try. As always, you never know if you never try and one person's experience may not be the same for you. Stereotypes of a person are brushed away as i remain open-minded and focus on getting to know the person personally and see her qualities for who she is rather than What she is.

Perhaps i am being naive. But as long as i truly believe that i can settle down with a girl till i grow old with her, it doesnt matter to me anymore her background. Happiness for me is not being so ngioh and nitty gritty on details, thus i am perhaps a more chin chye person. As long as i am happy, its all that matters. Of course from many setbacks in previous relationships, i have learnt that it is difficult to always be happy. It came down to a personal issue and for me its my outlook. I can look at one issue and choose to be happy or sad about it. Its a matter of choice and perspective.

Alright, after bull****ing for so much, the moral of the story is that, throw the statistics away, the stereotype, go out and experience love and sorrow for it is the only way we learn. And always remember that happiness is a choice. So if you are always sad/hurt in a relationship, it could be due to your outlook/perspective and not the girl. So unless you change it, you would never find the right girl.

Warning: The author drank two cans of beer prior to writing the above. So take the above with a pinch of salt and move on to something like :p

[drahcir]

This is by far the intricating topic I have read SBF.

I try to apply what I have learn in school. Think out of the box! I came up with 1 soln. See below

All singapore with legal age should serve 2 yrs in national service. Take note, all singapore including gals. National service can be in the form of nurse, teacher, clerical work etc for women with weak physical condition. Other can still join home team (police, prison etc), SAF.........

Adv
1) This is equality. Fairness.
2) From my experience, a lot of guy matured and grew up the most during NS. Hopefully, gals can learn a lot from that as well.
3) Another common topic between man and women. Imagining talking about NS days with a gal
4) Increased the chance of interaction between Guy & Gals. A lot of couple meaning (local man married local women) know each other during school days where there are less distraction from branded good, can suffer togther (studying for exam). Juz imagine knowing a gal from NS, suffer together and get married in the end.
5) Make our nation stronger. Imagine the whole nation can be activited during war. We will have almost a million of NSF. Wow!
6) Can increase ration of teacher vs student. Lower crime rate with more policewomen now available. Better health care, and solved the lack of nurse. We can have female MO(medical officer as well)
7) Need to get my ZZzzzz. Pls add to this list if you can think of

Disadv. Fill this up as well for those who disagree.

[HCKing]

Perhaps i am being naive. But as long as i truly believe that i can settle down with a girl till i grow old with her, it doesnt matter to me anymore her background. Happiness for me is not being so ngioh and nitty gritty on details, thus i am perhaps a more chin chye person. As long as i am happy, its all that matters. Of course from many setbacks in previous relationships, i have learnt that it is difficult to always be happy. It came down to a personal issue and for me its my outlook. I can look at one issue and choose to be happy or sad about it. Its a matter of choice and perspective.

Alright, after bull****ing for so much, the moral of the story is that, throw the statistics away, the stereotype, go out and experience love and sorrow for it is the only way we learn. And always remember that happiness is a choice. So if you are always sad/hurt in a relationship, it could be due to your outlook/perspective and not the girl. So unless you change it, you would never find the right girl.

Warning: The author drank two cans of beer prior to writing the above. So take the above with a pinch of salt and move on to something like :p

totally agree with u bro. life is short, live it without regrets. as long as both parties r truly in love with one another can liao.

[glooper83]

This is by far the intricating topic I have read SBF.

I try to apply what I have learn in school. Think out of the box! I came up with 1 soln. See below

All singapore with legal age should serve 2 yrs in national service. Take note, all singapore including gals. National service can be in the form of nurse, teacher, clerical work etc for women with weak physical condition. Other can still join home team (police, prison etc), SAF.........

Adv
1) This is equality. Fairness.
2) From my experience, a lot of guy matured and grew up the most during NS. Hopefully, gals can learn a lot from that as well.
3) Another common topic between man and women. Imagining talking about NS days with a gal
4) Increased the chance of interaction between Guy & Gals. A lot of couple meaning (local man married local women) know each other during school days where there are less distraction from branded good, can suffer togther (studying for exam). Juz imagine knowing a gal from NS, suffer together and get married in the end.
5) Make our nation stronger. Imagine the whole nation can be activited during war. We will have almost a million of NSF. Wow!
6) Can increase ration of teacher vs student. Lower crime rate with more policewomen now available. Better health care, and solved the lack of nurse. We can have female MO(medical officer as well)


I did think about this before. Like what you said, beef up the sectors where there is a shortage of workers. Nurse, police, maybe even voluntary organisations where they need a lot of helpers. I can see a lot of benefit from this system of having more first-aid trained citizens, having more girls who do charity work rather than just think of going shopping.

On the other hand, the govt' and private sectors cannot afford to lose any more manpower since the guys would be doing their NS. So this could be a stumbling block. And the other block is that, girls do get pregnant, and that is their "NS".

[suteerak1099]

I did think about this before. Like what you said, beef up the sectors where there is a shortage of workers. Nurse, police, maybe even voluntary organisations where they need a lot of helpers. I can see a lot of benefit from this system of having more first-aid trained citizens, having more girls who do charity work rather than just think of going shopping.

On the other hand, the govt' and private sectors cannot afford to lose any more manpower since the guys would be doing their NS. So this could be a stumbling block. And the other block is that, girls do get pregnant, and that is their "NS". these days, many choose not to marry, even if they did, hey choose not to have kids.... so, is this considered AWOL? Desertion? Willful Disobedience of General Order? Non-compliance with Lawful Order?

[Mitigate]

They think too much and dare not commit.

[xiaogui1502]

I agreed with Mitigate, they think too much. I have seen different things with the SG girls i know. One good female fren broke up with her bf after 5 yrs citing "character" problem. The bf has just proposed abt 3 mths before that and my fren did not give an answer. FIrst of all, I think you dun need 5 yrs to know a character problem.

I think the main problem with SG girls is EXPECTATION. Those who got married are usually those who manage their own expectations. SG girls have a tendency to look for "more", for "better choices", looking at the good points of a new guy not realising he got more flaws than the original bf. As they keep looking and looking, the guys who are with the good qualities would have settled down one by one. By age 30+, then they realised they have let go of so many good men who they can entrust their lives with.

Guys are more systematic and manage expectation better. Usually if we see a good one, we go for it, stick to it. SOmetimes a better one may come along, but guys are better are differentiating between sex, fling and real r/s.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

What's wrong wif thinking too much?????
I think this is a good trait
Just like knowing where the mines are on a minefield and plotting a course to walk though it without getting blown apart!
Whereas, someone who doesnt tink so much will just use their luck to cross the minefield.
A person who thinks will reflect on the kind of individual you're talking about.
A person who doesnt think too much, yeah, i wouldnt mind having a lover like that but no way would i want to marry someone like that.
People like this, are not dependable nor reliable....typical PRC WL trait!

[glooper83]

I think the main problem with SG girls is EXPECTATION.

Guys are more systematic and manage expectation better. Usually if we see a good one, we go for it, stick to it. SOmetimes a better one may come along, but guys are better are differentiating between sex, fling and real r/s.

I do not have a problem with girls thinking too much. But i believe that our girls on average do have higher expectations than other girls of asian nationalities. However it is also true for guys. We also want the prettier girl, the more loving girl, the more caring one. And i do not think that we are any better at differentiating between sex, fling and real r/s, just look at the number of infidelity cases of guys, the extra-marital affairs and so on. Guys can be just as an emotional creature as girls may be.

The MAIN difference is that, for guys, we haven't really changed a lot since our grandparent's generation. We still have that high level of expectations of our girls. But for women, the new era has come, they now have more clout in society, their level of expectations has also risen by... A LOT. For guys, it is our imperative to manage these increased expectations in line with our own.

Summary: Women need not adapt to men but Men has to adapt to our Sg women now. Which means we are accepting the change in our women today. We can choose to ignore these changes and refuse to adapt to them but the way i see it, it is a losing battle. Things will never go back to the way it was 50 years ago.

[GreenHorny]

i do agree that our local gals are getting more indepdent and more demanding for their life partner, but it takes 2 hands to clap yeahz. i see many guys these days willing to suck up to their gf, carry handbag for them, be their humanoid trolly, and let their gfs shout at them in public. feel sad for them, cfm no bj by their gfs one..

[takashitei]

Just finishing xin ming and there is one acticle saying that our local girls are expecting her next partner to be earning at least 4 to 5 k per month!:eek:
How on earth can many bros earning that kinda of money if he has only o level or poly cert unless he is running his own business. No wonder so many of us r mixing with prc and vit girls now.

[HCKing]

Just finishing xin ming and there is one acticle saying that our local girls are expecting her next partner to be earning at least 4 to 5 k per month!:eek:
How on earth can many bros earning that kinda of money if he has only o level or poly cert unless he is running his own business. No wonder so many of us r mixing with prc and vit girls now.

all the same nw => NO $$$ NO HONEY :eek:

[cheongsterjon]

Most local girls if handled tactfully and with care are actually quite easy to go along, not to say sucking up to them helping them do everything but know the skill of flirting with them..But still there are some girls who are really stuck up, look down on every guy whom I think at the end of the day will become an old unmarried hen..why so stuck up, don't she need a cock to be satisfied????

[Jarko]

ya i read abt the article too. i think it ridiculous la. if the family is support by 2 persons, den 4-5k can make it la. nowadays making money is hard leh. even ah long gt business yet bo money to take back leh..

[HCKing]

ya i read abt the article too. i think it ridiculous la. if the family is support by 2 persons, den 4-5k can make it la. nowadays making money is hard leh. even ah long gt business yet bo money to take back leh..

to girls marriage is nt just abt love it signifies security and responsibilities, which is y their expectation of husband are much higher than boyfriend. even though they can cry for equality lah, woman independence blah blah but comes to marriage they will still go 4 the rich and successful guys to give them the sense of security. if they earn 3k they will expect their other half to earn double. ever heard of any young, independent with gd earning ability girls settling down with pauper? so far i have nvr heard of any.

[mike1304k]

It actually depends on the girls also lah. Not all are so "realistic" or materialistic. However it is true mah. In our society, most women know that once they are married and they start a family, their ability to work is dependant on their spouse. Some find it necessary for both parents to work because of the financial requirements of bringing up a child. But no mother (or at least most of the women I know) will willingly allow their children to be taken care of by a maid or by their parents as they would like to care for the child they bore. So if they find a good catch, (economically) they would not need to worry so much. I have also seen many cases in many countries where the family falls apart because of economic circumstances, though it is mostly because of gambling or wanting to live the high life. Just like us guys who want chio bus and syt for our partners, they have also their own expectations. The higher we expect, then the higher will be their expectations also. So if we go after a syt who everyone drools about, of course you have to be so filthy rich so as to support her. If not, she can easily find someone else who got the cash.

If we are so filthy rich, then the syt will also have to worry about pleasing us as we can treat her as the flavour of the month easily too. It goes both ways lah.

[FL Lover]

Bros,

$ IS VERY IMPORTANT TO A FAMILY NO MATTER WHERE THE GIRLS CAME FROM.

SG girls have higher expectations for us and this is normal Dont forget, we are living in SG. IN SG, you can afford to DIE but u cannot afford to have no $. This is the society that we are living in and this is the fact. Our SG GIRLS have no choice... If we are given a choice, dont you wish that yor second half will be well to do or AT LEAST ABLE TO SUPPORT THE FAMILY.....

Getting foreign girls is easy lah...but THEY ALSO HAVE EXPECTATIONS LEH...Marry them is easy but to maintain them also need $$. Do you think that they will stick to you long if you dont give them ALLOWANCES FOR THEIR FAMILY MONTHLY? That allowances are not CHEAP.

IMHO, we have no choice. The society have created or make us into a situation whereby everything is about $. Even to animals, the female will always select the most biggest, strongest male in the group...

[RAINBOW seasons]

Throughout the whole of the forum, money is the root causes of the problem. Not all Local girls are so "realistic" or materialistic, it really depends on the upbringing. If a girl is living in a high class society throughout her 20-30 years of life, she will definately find someone who can fit her status. Someone earning double her salary etc. Don't expect her to find a pauper. In terms of looks, i don't think the local girls are choosy as most of the times when you walk along the streets, you can see BEAUTY AND THE BEAST sceniro. Its both ways with modern technology and increasing standard of living, everyone young and old are expecting much more.
So its better to settle for someone we can get along with than worry about how local girls expections going to affect you.

[lacoruna69]

Throughout the whole of the forum, money is the root causes of the problem.

I would say money is the root of most problems in this WORLD. Not just SBF.
Nothing wrong with having expectations. Yes, not all local gals are materialistic. Sometimes when LOVE strikes, common sense goes out the door. This has been proven in scientific sense.
Interestingly, it had also been proven that men mainly goes for young, attractive women. A young, attractive woman represent good fertility. And men like to sow wild oats. While gals usually are attracted to men who are successful in their careers. They are looking for a sense of security. Of course, there are exceptions too.

[glooper83]

Throughout the whole of the forum, money is the root causes of the problem. Not all Local girls are so "realistic" or materialistic, it really depends on the upbringing. If a girl is living in a high class society throughout her 20-30 years of life, she will definately find someone who can fit her status. Someone earning double her salary etc. Don't expect her to find a pauper. In terms of looks, i don't think the local girls are choosy as most of the times when you walk along the streets, you can see BEAUTY AND THE BEAST sceniro. Its both ways with modern technology and increasing standard of living, everyone young and old are expecting much more.
So its better to settle for someone we can get along with than worry about how local girls expections going to affect you.

Wah, my friend, you finally make an "appearance". Happy Valentine's Day to you. :)

Indeed money is the root of all evil (and this financial crisis... lols). Somehow, for me, it would be nice to see a girl stand by her man thru thick and thin and thats impt for me too. For this, i admire my Bro DYBJ for having such a good wife.

Haha, i agree about the BEAUTY AND THE BEAST scenario, so many times i encountered this and only to wonder why am I not the lucky one instead. =(

It is very impt for a couple to get along well with each other, to have 'chemistry', but very often, it is not as simple as it seems. Even if there was chemistry initially but after some years it would start to wane. So an impt consideration for me would also be the girl's attitudes and her expectations. If i know her expectations and that if i would not be able to live up to it, then it would be pointless. Managing each other's expectations is something that i have learnt that is crucial to maintaining a harmonious relationship.

[DesSia]

Local girls are pampered since young and therefore they will demand more as they don't and appreciate Love. Love is = to Cash in their concept. Although not all local girls are like that but most (80%) are like that. It will be your luck if you can find someone within the 20%. Ha ha ha! :D

An average man thinking of marrying a university graduate is as good as a toad trying to eat a swan! Day dreaming man!!! Singapore is too stressful for day-dreaming. So better wake up early to prevent loses of youth. :eek:

[colins]

I would say money is the root of most problems in this WORLD. Not just SBF.
Nothing wrong with having expectations. Yes, not all local gals are materialistic. Sometimes when LOVE strikes, common sense goes out the door. This has been proven in scientific sense.
Interestingly, it had also been proven that men mainly goes for young, attractive women. A young, attractive woman represent good fertility. And men like to sow wild oats. While gals usually are attracted to men who are successful in their careers. They are looking for a sense of security. Of course, there are exceptions too.

Money is not the root of problems, it is our own greed and envy. Being materialistic is a state where people never feel safe without excessive and unrealistic assurance, and can only be satisfied by satisfying their greed and their need for people to envy them. Without money, there will still be wealth. Only difference is what people think as wealth. So money is not root cause, it is our desires.

Men will always be attracted to young women, this is our instinct to procreate. Girls will always be attracted to successful men, becos they instinctive look for better genes for their next generation. Unless we evolve further, these will always be facts.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Indeed money is the root of all evil (and this financial crisis... lols). Somehow, for me, it would be nice to see a girl stand by her man thru thick and thin and thats impt for me too. For this, i admire my Bro DYBJ for having such a good wife.

It is very impt for a couple to get along well with each other, to have 'chemistry', but very often, it is not as simple as it seems. Even if there was chemistry initially but after some years it would start to wane. So an impt consideration for me would also be the girl's attitudes and her expectations. If i know her expectations and that if i would not be able to live up to it, then it would be pointless. Managing each other's expectations is something that i have learnt that is crucial to maintaining a harmonious relationship.

Thanks for your compliments Bro Glooper........
A very important note to add to your statement is NEVER have any expectations in your partner......local or non local
Ok, this is based on the fact that your partner is true and not just trying to drain your dry.
Financial independence is KEY to having a strong relationship.
Personal space is also the other key...do not cross into each other's territory of lifestyle
Do not expect her to be wat u want her to be and thus, dun expect her to want you to be something you're not either
Both MUST have their own healthy lifestyles, i.e goin out wif friends, but us guys, going out and sleaze

The golden word here is RESPECT!
So find a wife that can care, not a wife that you love!
That's Y I always draw the line for women in my life very clearly

TOY = Bao $XXX a month, back and call....as n when you want or need...she must drop everything and be there to SERVE you( this one got no KC significance at all and can be changed like changing underwear)

Lover = Someone who you can rely on emotionally, can talk, good chemistry but you must never marry. Sex of cos la and some financial support

Wife = Someone whom you know will be there for you in times of health and sickness...someone who will not ditch you even when your ship starts to take in water, someone who will be there to always pull you up if you fall, someone you can always hug tight and cry your lungs out to when you're hurting inside, someone who you know, can take care of your empire when you're unable to...................someone who'll never throw your parents to the old folks home just bcos she cant get along wif them

Ok say too much liao

[volvo]

Yea i agree with bro Collins as well, money is not the root of the problem. Quite frankly, by looking at the discussions, it seems that most guy's concerns about local girls are about money and if you keep on emphasising on money matters, it will be the root of your problem. Its the cause of most desires and it depends on how the relationship is from individuals to individuals. Me and my lady, most of the time we have differences is bicker about who wants to pay for our dinner, or for the next movie ticket, because we just dont want the other party to pay for anything. We are not well to do either, but we enjoy simple things that makes both of us happy, guess that is what that is most important, the small things though that we think that are insignificant are actually the bigger things in life that will make most of us happy. Money definitely isnt one of them, its useful, but we can go without it and still be happy. Just my 2 cents worth.

[volvo]

oh and by the way, bro DO_U_BJ, you use this short form "KC", what does it mean or what does it stand for? Cant seem to figure it out and couldnt find the meaning in the other introductory forums either. Pls enlighten or anyone pls. Thank you.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

KC = KumCheng = 感情
KC Trap = 感情计
Hope this helps

[Faye]

i strongly believe love can overcome anything =D

[mosesmadmao]

Why do many local girls always wish to remain single despite the fact that there are guys after them??

[HCKing]

Why do many local girls always wish to remain single despite the fact that there are guys after them??

the more guys going after them the more they can afford to wait and choose.

[BKnight]

I hope my posting will threw some light on what's bugging newly emerging Singapore, about marriage, divorce, family ties and shifting expectations of women.

The Singapore girl - someone who has a calculator for a brain and sizes up potential mates with the eye of a scrupulous qualitycontroller .:D

Singaporean women are increasingly becoming "realistic" (money-conscious) and more of them are looking for money, cars and houses when seeking partners. Beside being money-minded and demanding, they can't tolerate the slightest wrong of their men-folk.

At a recent party, I asked a few women (all are working professional and are under 32): "I'm going to put it to you straight, ladies. What do you say is more important in marriage - love or money?"

Almost all hesitated: "Umm, love or money? That's a tough one." They finally chose a non-controversial answer: "I think both are equally important."

I am surprisingly, the women named "money" as the most crucial factor in a successful marriage. Their views reflected them as a "practical" lot.

Their rationale: you can't live on just love and fresh air.

They asked for my answer and I was pretty sure it would provoke derision, my answered to them was "It's something called love. That's the most important thing in a marriage."

Everyone laughed (the girls). KNN (I cursed inside my heart but I do love to "K" 2 of the ladies)....:rolleyes:

To be continue............

[colins]

Why do many local girls always wish to remain single despite the fact that there are guys after them??

Becos after they got married, there will be no more guys after them, including their new hubby.

[fee3fow]

They just like the feeling of guys chasing them and dun want to be tie down by a single guy. Just like why some guys also like to be single. They want to bonk many many girls and not only one girl :D

[333888]

hard la local gals .. mostly is 2 realistic rite.. much better find a pinoy like me.. at least wan 2bonk can bonk anytime, know to cook, jagar the old ppl at home, and most important is they really like to do housechores.. me is a gd example, blive it or not..

[glooper83]

Becos after they got married, there will be no more guys after them, including their new hubby.

O RLY ? :p


MILF <----- :confused:

[cablesnwires]

...
The Singapore girl - someone who has a calculator for a brain and sizes up potential mates with the eye of a scrupulous qualitycontroller .:D



Bro BKnight, I just wish to point out 1 thing, it is just not confined to sg girls alone. Every nationalities has its fair share of this trait.

[Charmaine]

It's not solely about their demands for money that riles up forummers here. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that Singapore girls demand for money - lots of it - and then some more. They need their man to be rich, handsome, loving, caring, attentive, sensitive, wash the dishes, clean the floor, carry their bags, open their doors, pull up their chairs, punch the next man who accidentally lands their hands on her shoulder on the train, buy everything for them but expect nothing in return (last I checked, love was 2-way traffic), lick their sexual organs in bed, frown when you so much as politely ask that it be given back to you (and then politely smile when she refuses time and time again)..

The list goes on. In short, Singapore girls are far, far from perfect, but they are demanding that their male counterparts are. The most sickening part of the story, and I'm not ashamed to bring this out into the open, is that we are just silently TRYING to be that perfect man that they demand us to be without as much of a purr. We try our damnest best, but they just sit, cross their legs and enjoy our humiliating show-and-tell.

Is this fair? All this for a worthless piece of pussy that just happens to be produced within this pathetic 7sqkm island of ours. Why can't one single man out of almost two million in this country just stand up one day, scream "I've had enough! You're not perfect and you're not even trying, so why should I?" and slap the next woman he sees across the face?

Yes, you can tell from my post that I am angry. No pussy is worth this, and I'm sure even individuals with the lowest levels of dignity and self-respect will not stand for this if given a remote chance to speak against it.

If you're not a princess, stop spending your entire life trying to be one. And stop dragging us all into believing that if we pretend we're princes we'll have a shot. Most of you live in HDB flats, toil tirelessly within a confined cubicle 5 days a week for 8 hours a day trying to make ends meet, eat at hawker centres and watch your wallets. Behave like the normal girl you are and my opinion of you might change - I'm happy to. Until then, though, I'd rather be a King. God never intended for us to become like this in front of a woman - it has always been the other way round. We were the club-wielding, food hunting cavemen, while the lady just sits at home, thanks the man for having something to eat, and lets him fuck her. Why should it ever change now?

[Gaofar]

Wow... Talk about angst and vindication... But truthfully well spoken, especially on this "70 square km" land of ours... Cheers!

[life.scene]

Every nationalities, got different characters due to social upbringing and social values in the society and people they mix with.

Singaporean girls are the smart helens!

[BKnight]

Bro BKnight, I just wish to point out 1 thing, it is just not confined to sg girls alone. Every nationalities has its fair share of this trait.

I know but this thread is talking about Singapore gals. Most of us are either dating a local gal, married to one or have suffered under one or more than one. So please let us release some air, ok with you, bro? :D

Don't zapped me, I been down 15 points in a single post because of a wrong thread started by a T.S. He started a thread with regards to whether he is a No Good person because he went for prostitution as he is single, not able to find a local girlfriend or wife, but he posted in the Sex Health forum (wrong forum!!)...I blur blur went to reply and kanna zapped.

I can only blame myself for being a newbie but I also blame the local gals..Why? Because if they are not so demanding and difficult to handle, the T.S would not have seek comfort from a prostitute, regretted after the transaction, thinking he is a NO GOOD person and started a wrong thread in a wrong forum which resulted me in kanna zapped........hehehehehe :D

Pew...finally let off some stream.It is so nice to finally can blame the local gal of something...hmm....Thanks for reading....... :p

P.S. Boss Sam, I will open my eyes big big next time and will not post in off subject thread...Got to work harder to regain my lost points..BTW, when is your BD?

[iCoPuLaTe]

IMO, not all females are that demanding as what others say, some are good(for me as least,mayb i capture the good ones) because those ppl had met with the incorrect people thus saying the females blah blah...

I believe 没人是永远孤单的，it jus that whether the guy would settle for someone that is not so perfect in his eyes or his friends eyes.
If a avearge guy happens to do something that touches & melt the char bor heart, dun say graduate, laywer also will kanna hook.

Marry foreigners i got no comment as i still not qualified to discuess that.

I may not a 情圣,but over the years with my limited experiances,females expect guys to respect them as people, gv them her face when HER friend is around, be like a puppy to her,yet can be a tree when thunderstorm..support her openion & share her woes wid her.BUT it seems to me is happens when is the guy kanna love spell then would do this way.(mayb the female super pretty lah, or those guys that easy get jealousy.)

i play from ktv girls,part time model,older sister to her real life sister, to female friend's female friend.(all Sg ppl)
all seems that does not expect much from me...as long as i respect them,willing to put my face down for her.

Even if i scold girl A watever !@#$% to her mother !@#$%^, if her heart's stuck with you, she mentally is LL stuck with you..Until the day she is so stressed up with the guys rubbish.

I believe is how the guy present himself during the courting days, once the female's heart is stole by you..she is a goner & you can be a player liao.Many guys is 先君子，后小人(not paisay 2 admit i'm one), girls when kanna the 小人time, but her heart is with the guy,her mind will auto think back the 君子time of her current bad bf, telling herself he's still good..human nature.

Unless you are saying a married couple that have kids, then it might slightly different, some hang on bcos of children, some are just that type of females that does not ask for much & willing to suffer with her husband.Excluding financecial issue.


For me is try to find a good successful one then lock her heart up.

[Gaofar]

No wonder when I was reading your post I saw that your pts have dropped drastically and was thinking what happended... Anyway, I do liked your posts so far that I've read and I think you are just suay, wrong place wrong time... No matter, I'll up you once I've gotten back my power! Cheers! :D

[BKnight]

[QUOTE=iCoPuLaTe;3549531]IMO, not all females are that demanding as what others say, some are good(for me as least,mayb i capture the good ones) because those ppl had met with the incorrect people thus saying the females blah blah...

i play from ktv girls,part time model,older sister to her real life sister, to female friend's female friend.(all Sg ppl)
all seems that does not expect much from me...as long as i respect them,willing to put my face down for her.

Even if i scold girl A watever !@#$% to her mother !@#$%^, if her heart's stuck with you, she mentally is LL stuck with you..Until the day she is so stressed up with the guys rubbish. QUOTE]


Bro CoPuLaTe,

Apologize, I have to 先君子，后小人 (today low on points..oops).

Boss Sam - This Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt is it in wrong thread or wat? I tot this is about "LOCAL GIRLS" Like this, can arh?

What do you mean when you said:

"i play from ktv girls,part time model,older sister to her real life sister, to female friend's female friend.(all Sg ppl)" - YOU MEANT YOU COS-PLAY OR ROLE PLAY TYPE? We all normal straight guys here leh. Trying to keep a local gal happy is stressful and demanding enough liao, if we gotto to perform such plays to win their heart.OMG! Can die you know...?

Even if i scold girl A watever !@#$% to her mother !@#$%^, if her heart's stuck with you, she mentally is LL stuck with you..Until the day she is so stressed up with the guys rubbish. - We dont scold gals "using her mother sexual organ la" or "is it using girl sexual organ to scold her mother"? Chiem sial..Her heart struck with you? (then how? dead gal liao)..mentally is LL stuck with you? (she is mentally sick or wat?) and What!!! She also cleared the rubbish for you as a cleaner? - No wonder you are a casanova 情圣 ! You always got to hook the best, good, dead, mentally retard, cleaning aunties..Respect! Respect!


Bro, ARE you high or something? Your posting floats sial..or next time you can write in Chinese, its ok wan, 你可以用华(中)文, OK的!
:D we can understand too :D

[xyz1001]

Haha, i agree about the BEAUTY AND THE BEAST scenario, so many times i encountered this and only to wonder why am I not the lucky one instead. =(


Haha... Most often the BEAST is driving a BMW loh... :D


That's Y I always draw the line for women in my life very clearly

TOY = Bao $XXX a month, back and call....as n when you want or need...she must drop everything and be there to SERVE you( this one got no KC significance at all and can be changed like changing underwear)

Lover = Someone who you can rely on emotionally, can talk, good chemistry but you must never marry. Sex of cos la and some financial support

Wife = Someone whom you know will be there for you in times of health and sickness...someone who will not ditch you even when your ship starts to take in water, someone who will be there to always pull you up if you fall, someone you can always hug tight and cry your lungs out to when you're hurting inside, someone who you know, can take care of your empire when you're unable to...................someone who'll never throw your parents to the old folks home just bcos she cant get along wif them


Agreed... Something that i came across...


　这个世界上，男人最需要的，除了一个老婆，还有一个红颜知己。

　　做红颜知己最重要的是恪守界限。

　　当你卧病在床与痛苦激战的时候，拉着你的手慌张无措泪流满面的那个人必是老婆。她怕你痛，怕你死，恨不 得替你痛，替你死。她哭哭啼啼。痴痴缠缠，让你感动，让你心灵难安。而红颜知己不。红颜知己不哭，她只是站 在床头，静静地凝望着你，阅读你的心灵，然后用她的口她的眼她的心告诉你她知道你痛在何处，她理解你，愿为 你默默分担，让你灵魂不再孤寂，令你欣慰。由此可见二者的本质区别了：哭，是因为爱你；不哭， 是因为懂你。

　　一个男人，假如生命中有一个刻骨铭心爱你的女人，又能有一个心有灵犀懂你的女人，夫复何求 ？

　　红颜知己全是些绝顶智慧的女孩，她们心底里最明白：一个女人要想在男人的生命里永恒，要么做他的母亲， 要么做他永远也得不到的红颜知己，懂他，但就是不属于他。

　　给他适可而止的关照，但不给他深情，不给他感到你会爱上他的威胁，也不让他产生爱上你的冲动与热情，这 是做红颜知己的技巧。

　　你出门远行，音信全无，而前往地有重大自然灾害发生，红颜知己心有牵挂，多次拨电话，但每次均打不通， 因为你关机。待你漂泊够了，蓬头垢面地站到她面前时，她只是盈盈地笑问：“好久不见，玩得开心吗？”她不会 提及她的牵挂、她的忧虑，永远不会提。她知道提那些东西不是她的事，她不想爱情，只想友情。她就像一个顽皮 的勾魂鬼，一只眼睛对着你就那么一挤一眨，便把你身上所有的男孩的那部分淘气、热情、活跃的分子勾了出来。 在她面前，你惟有投降，无路可逃。

　　实在也是不能逃，不想逃。

　　通常情况下，老婆是倾诉者，而红颜知己则是聆听者。她也许是温柔的可人儿，也可能像豪爽的哥们儿，在她 面前男人可以是倦鸟是浪子，可以疲惫、孤独、无助、逃避、怠惰，而她是能接纳你的黑夜，给你安静，做你恢复 能量的空间。

　　如果说老婆是太阳，情人是月亮，那么红颜知己则是星星。太阳月亮有疲倦的时候，星星却没有，它闪闪烁烁 若即若离，甘于寂寞却又灿烂而长久。

　　无论你在别人面前多么地高高在上，不可仰视，在红颜知己眼里都只有尊严没有威严。她能穿过层层面具，如 入无人境地走进你的心灵，用一种你与她都懂的语言来和你进行灵魂的对话与交流。

　　故能做红颜知己的必是女人中的精品。

　　而能拥有红颜知己的也必是男人中的智者

Enjoy... :)

[Gaofar]

说的好啊！真是值得我记下来！

[Panamera]

妻子-就是你愿意把积蓄交给她保管的女人

情人-就是你偷偷摸摸和她约会又怕妻子撞见的女人

红颜知己-就是你能把有些秘密说给她听却不能说给妻子听的女人

妻子是一种约束，约束你不能随便和别的女人交往

情人是一种补偿，补偿你想从妻子那得到却又无法得到的激情

红颜知己就是一种点拨，点拨你心中的迷津。

妻子占有男人，情人分享男人，而红颜知己则是塑造男人

如果有可能，男人都在想把红颜知己变成情人；如果再有可能，再将她变成妻子。只是变成妻子的红颜知己就不再 是知己了，因为很少男人把自己的妻子当成知己的，男人心中有好多秘密不能随便说给妻子听。

娶一个妻子是为了怕别人说闲话；找一个情人是为了给单调的生活加点味精；交一个红颜知己是想给空虚的心灵浇 点鸡汤。

男人一生都在寻找的不是一个妻子也不是多个情人，而是一个，甚至更多的红颜知己。

有些失去是注定的；有些缘分是永远不会有结果的。爱一个人不一定要拥有，但拥有了一个人就一定要珍惜。要不 ，那还叫男人么？:p

[iCoPuLaTe]

Np, i think is because of my english phrasing & spelling errors.I try doing a better explaination with my limited vocab.Pai say ah.
err..here use point system for?dun tell me attack ppl can get points?LMFAO[/COLOR]

What do you mean when you said:
"i play from ktv girls,part time model,older sister to her real life sister, to female friend's female friend.(all Sg ppl)" - YOU MEANT YOU COS-PLAY OR ROLE PLAY TYPE? We all normal straight guys here leh. Trying to keep a local gal happy is stressful and demanding enough liao, if we gotto to perform such plays to win their heart.OMG! Can die you know...?

I meant this way: In the past, i was a sort of playboy,always get to know females from different walks of life.(from ktv's hostress,part-time model,blood related sister)and it happens that i can always 上床 with them.I do not do cosplay,i'm a normal person>i believe is my way translating chinese to english>aka “玩女人”to"play" that is causing the confusion when reading my post.

From your :Trying to keep a local gal happy is stressful and demanding enough liao, if we gotto to perform such plays to win their heart.OMG! Can die you know...?

My views,
Firstly: When you woo the lady,do you hv to be more gentalmen in order to win their heart? OR the lady you fancy can automatic become your gf then you start to see how long your relationship can last?
During a relationship if the passion is gone, some couples just hang on due to "习惯".. So in order to make the passion come back, what is it you gotta lose when you do some sweet things for your gf?(Of cos not all the time)
Secondly:Performing or acting "sweet/sensitive/caring/affection/romantic" to gf during your relationship is not to win her heart,it is to maintain the relationship going thus making her obsess for you.The person hv to try to win & melt the female's heart from the very beginning of the relationship and not using the time to show how long you can hang on with her aka faithful. The lady is also a person,a person can be pratical>always striving for the better.If you do not do some acts from time to time, how are you going to maintain your relationship with the lady,passion will die off you know, & the outcome is break-up. I personelly do not see any wrong in doing sweet stuffs for my gf just to make her feel i'm still interesting.Even if like giving her face when her friends is around,it is actually indirectly letting her friends know that you are a good guy.
1.There is possibility that when the ladies are tgt, they discuess their bf blah blah blah...then if it happens that they discuess about you,Hey, you are one of a kind good guy!which is proven during your acting when your gf;s friend is around & they see it. Girls also like to compete their bf with other friend's bf.
2.If your gf sense that her friends all liked you,(adamier you)she will even cling on more tightly to you.Is a human nature,jealousy.
3.I ever act,so many ex gf's friend knows i'm a not bad person,(actual fact i'm not)so when i broke of wif my gf, it is easier for me to jio her friends to be my gf as all know i can be romantic/caring etc.
It's sort of like- 放长线,钓鱼,or i put it in this way>Make spare tire avalible.
Which is somehow directed at TS's quote of can a average man get a graduate.

Even if i scold girl A watever !@#$% to her mother !@#$%^, if her heart's stuck with you, she mentally is LL stuck with you..Until the day she is so stressed up with the guys rubbish. - We dont scold gals "using her mother sexual organ la" or "is it using girl sexual organ to scold her mother"? Chiem sial..Her heart struck with you? (then how? dead gal liao)..mentally is LL stuck with you? (she is mentally sick or wat?) and What!!! She also cleared the rubbish for you as a cleaner? - No wonder you are a casanova 情圣 ! You always got to hook the best, good, dead, mentally retard, cleaning aunties..Respect! Respect!

[COLOR="red"]I simply meant this way(base on using my ex 案例to say):
When a female is just "crazy/obsess/fallen for you,given you her everything", you be surprise how much the female can tolorate you be it MCP,Abuse,swearing watever valgarities etc.(well, mayb i was lucky to hv a ex that respond that way) Why?> Because she think you are the man she want to start a family with.It that simple, you treat her bad but as long as her feeling is with you,she forgive you & get on with you.Even if say, during a cold night you both quarrel,she sad & lonely, she thinks alot>how much you had scolded her,it will come to a point she recall how sweet,how caring,how good you treated her in the past.That is why i 强调> choosing the correct girl during the beginning & win her heart in order not to let her fly away from your cluthes thus sinking deeping into you.That's when it's your turn to play punk with her...Unless you go to the extreme when she no longer can tolorate the rubbish nosences from you accumalated over the years.

Bro, ARE you high or something? Your posting floats sial..or next time you can write in Chinese, its ok wan, 你可以用华(中)文, OK的!
:D we can understand too :D


I'm not high, it just that my english is poor, i often think in chinese & litererrely type the translated english work.Sometimes, i type chinese is because i do not know how to spelling the word...Some english words can roughly understand due to pronounacing it, some i dunno what words to use for the chinese word so i use 汉语拼音.

It all boils down to choose the correct girl that have heart in the first place thuse not giving you headach in the long run of demanding.And i also get on good terms with their mother,2nd line of defence.Why? every mother want their child to hv a good marriage.Simple right, you think from her mother point of view.(must act abit in order to let her mother see & remember)So if all this little thing has been done, how will you be stressfull & the girl will become demanding during the relationship as you said?有时吃亏一点不要经，有一天，你拿的回的。人要拿得起，放得下。Be a player, not kanna play in the game call LOVE.

[HCKing]

I'm not high, it just that my english is poor, i often think in chinese & litererrely type the translated english work.Sometimes, i type chinese is because i do not know how to spelling the word...Some english words can roughly understand due to pronounacing it, some i dunno what words to use for the chinese word so i use 汉语拼音.

It all boils down to choose the correct girl that have heart in the first place thuse not giving you headach in the long run of demanding.And i also get on good terms with their mother,2nd line of defence.Why? every mother want their child to hv a good marriage.Simple right, you think from her mother point of view.(must act abit in order to let her mother see & remember)So if all this little thing has been done, how will you be stressfull & the girl will become demanding during the relationship as you said?有时吃亏一点不要经，有一天，你拿的回的。人要拿得起，放得下。Be a player, not kanna play in the game call LOVE.

bro if u can find the correct girl that have heart, then dont be a xiao ren, it will nt only break her heart but also beware of retribution tat one day u will kana played big time by one who is equally or more heartless.

i agree with u that getting on gd terms with their mum is a gd and useful strategy, but does nt always work as there r lots of arrogant local girls who only think the world of themselves and wont even give a hoot of what their parents think and say. they can act act listen in front of their parents but will go back same old way once their backs r turned.

[Panamera]

Hi all brothers, please share your thoughts and experiences with local girls in this thread. Are they as demanding as people think? Does the average man still stand a chance at landing a local graduate. What causes 40%(according to a Straits Times article) of Singaporeans to marry foreigners?? What do local girls expect from men etc etc. Please share your true thoughts and feelings.

We have been raised to believe that if we study hard, get a degree and a good salary, gals will flock to us. That means, we believe, we can choose a wife who is demure, obedient and ready to cater to our needs. Unfortunately, like many old heritage Singapore landmarks and traditions disappearing and faded away, so is this belief.

With better education and high earnings now, local gals tend to be, on the other hand, more self-reliant, assertive and demanding to the extent of being too calculating and over-demanding - They want a car, a condo and other comforts of life.

Local gals nowadays are so pampered by maids and parents, many do not even know how to cook or sew! Many of them cannot/or are unwilling to perform the traditional housewives' roles their mothers played.

I an sure many bros here are like me, we have not abandoned our traditional gender roles despite a Western education and we believe in the value of family, rather than one who believes in career. It s this contrasting expectations of marriage are pushing us to go global in seeking a wife.

[HCKing]

With better education and high earnings now, local gals tend to be, on the other hand, more self-reliant, assertive and demanding to the extent of being too calculating and over-demanding - They want a car, a condo and other comforts of life.


u forgot to include demanding in sex too.:p want guy to lick but dont want to blow.:rolleyes:

[Panamera]

u forgot to include demanding in sex too.:p want guy to lick but dont want to blow.:rolleyes:

Hope they wont start charging any time sooner...now that economy is bad...:p

[DO_YOU_BJ]

We have been raised to believe that if we study hard, get a degree and a good salary, gals will flock to us. That means, we believe, we can choose a wife who is demure, obedient and ready to cater to our needs.

no offense to anyone but i feel these are mostly catered to those who have hardly ever lived in another country be it to study or work in other countries.
Holiday dun count hor.......cos that's waste time u dun see anything REAL

[Charmaine]

no offense to anyone but i feel these are mostly catered to those who have hardly ever lived in another country be it to study or work in other countries.
Holiday dun count hor.......cos that's waste time u dun see anything REAL

I would concur. Get out there, see the world, and for singles who have been searching for Miss Right all your lives, what in God's name is stopping you from flirting and having a little bit of fun with women outside of this country? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It's exotic, exciting, and to be brutally honest, it will show you alternative faces of women you have never seen before. It's easy to generalise what defines the typical Singapore woman - it's much less clear-cut once you cross our own borders and look beyond.

Singapore girls do have their strong points, but being docile / loving / sacrificial isn't one of them, and the perils of getting involved with one far outweighs the potential benefits. I lie in danger of being over-stereotypical, but even in the area of love-making they leave much to be desired. They expect too much and give too little, and their lack of even a reasonable level of skill in bed, primarily because of the reluctance to try as well as an abhorrent lack of social experience and sex education, is appalling. I speak from a personal standpoint - Singaporeans are the worst in bed I've ever encountered.

Get out there, make a few non-local girl friends, and welcome yourself to a different world. That will make you realise how fucked up our local breed are. I myself have been stuck on local girls all my life, and I thought I had commitment issues right up to the point of almost making a life-long mistake of proposing to a local woman I never loved, just because it seemed the "right" thing to do. I opened my eyes up, fell in love with a non-local, took a brave step forward despite everyone in this country telling me not to, and I can honestly say that I've never been happier with my life right now. Even if this relationship never worked out I could never go back to dating a local again. I wish this happiness upon everyone who wishes to find true love. Just be brave, step out, and enjoy the ride. Don't do the Singaporean thing and just "settle" for someone. Find love like I did. If it so happens that you discover the true meaning of love outside of this country, let no one talk you out of it, because this is your life and yours only.

[mike1304k]

I have lived abroad for a heck of a long time. Total.. 4 yrs Aus, 5 yrs Japan, 1.5 yrs in Thai... The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence lah. It is how you view things and also how you treat things. Local girls can be demanding, they have to be to expect to go higher on the social ladder mah.. But it is also the same in other countries. Tell a Thai you are foreigner and they will expect you to give their families a new house and a few more cows. Try to hook and ang moh and she will say your dick very small... The coin flips both ways lah...

I have been involved in both local and foreign girls and would say that each have their own cultural norms and their own thoughts. Do not expect ang moh to be subservient, but do not expect a Japanese to scream the walls down with "yamete"too. So now the choice is yours... local or foreign... but no matter what, it is what you can bring into the relationship. Your own expectations and your own abilities. It is a compromise of both parties and also both people.

If you the local lady asks you to drive her to work.. you tell her to take a cab... if she takes a cab, then fine lor.. If she refuses, then heck care her lah... Just like she demand that you have 5 C's... ask her what her end of the bargain is lor? It will also be the same for foreign chicks too mah... If dick not long, den maybe got cash... If not cash then maybe got something... But she gotta bring something into the deal also mah... Just my own views... So please do not flame me hor.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I find what you posted is tooo over stereotyping and too biased on your own failures in securing a good catch thus branding them local gals as hopeless.
I for one can read insults about people, hey i insult too but there are just some things i wont agree just like that, kawan or not.
Let me share my opinion below in rid:

I would concur. Get out there, see the world, and for singles who have been searching for Miss Right all your lives, what in God's name is stopping you from flirting and having a little bit of fun with women outside of this country? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It's exotic, exciting, and to be brutally honest, it will show you alternative faces of women you have never seen before.
Oh yes, the magic word, EXOTIC...slurp slurp reminded me the 1st time i landed in Australia for my uni...man wat a jolly WILD time i had

It's easy to generalise what defines the typical Singapore woman - it's much less clear-cut once you cross our own borders and look beyond.
Singapore girls do have their strong points, but being docile / loving / sacrificial isn't one of them, and the perils of getting involved with one far outweighs the potential benefits.
In any fruit plantation, you will always have the juicy ones and those that are sour, you are wat you are and birds of a feather does always flock together. This is also a primary cos of many of the blokes here looking for love locally but no having much success...but then again, there are also many success stories and just u just penned down are breathing and walking around, happily married etc
I'll give u 3 examples:

1) My 1st & 2nd wives, all local, have been wif me through thick n thin and both clocked over 10yrs wif me liao.
They are smart, cunning, down to earth, and most importantly, KNOW THEIR PLACE!
Both are uni grads. One from Canada the other from Melbourne.
Both ENSURE my daily well being and have never said a no in their lives wif me yet! Surprising...not to me...they would discuss but never outright say no.
They know i hate the heat here, thus, even eating, they'll take tissue and clean my sweat.....I've yet to see another woman do this in public on our island but I'm glad to proclaim that I have 3 who does that.

2) Neighbour's wife. Early 30s married to an accountant. Husband uni grad only, wife, MBA in Finance and Economics. After having her 1st kid, she became a home maker. Very sweet, down to earth and damn, sometime i fantasize about her...hehehehehe
No branded stuff, very simple family and family drives a Nissan Latio........
When my frens see her, WOW, your neighbour's wife u onz liao buay is always the same thing spoken.....so u get what i mean

3) 2nd wife's cousin.
Also a MBA holder, somehow married a hawker, YES LOVE IS BLIND I GUESS hahaha, also very down to earth, dropped her corporate life and became a hawker instead of having a comfortable office wif people to suck up to her

I have provided 3 not as a challenge but just to clarify that there are good ones too!

I lie in danger of being over-stereotypical, but even in the area of love-making they leave much to be desired. They expect too much and give too little, and their lack of even a reasonable level of skill in bed, primarily because of the reluctance to try as well as an abhorrent lack of social experience and sex education, is appalling. I speak from a personal standpoint - Singaporeans are the worst in bed I've ever encountered.
Well yes and no....The 2 PRC wives that i have all come experienced but seem not being able to just do some little more stuff to FREAK ME OUT on bed big time.
1st wife, not a SEX CREATURE but she tries...poor child can see sweat dripping......
2nd wife.....ANIMAL! Puts in effort and always game to try anything i suggest. Damn, we've done some stuff you wont even do with a FL hahahahaha.......but then again, its very individual.....
I remembered when i was in Shanghai years back and met this hot chick....we knocked it off and before you knew it, we were already in bed nude.
One thing let to another and i was just about to shove me dick into her mouth and....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeee, you know what this is for, you put in my mouth...no no.......though i really liked her, i bit the bullet & asked her to fuck off the very next minute!
So again, both sides exists everywhere
When i was in Brussels, got involved wif an ang mo...nice, sexy and demure......we always tot they were wild...but this one...no no.....plus factor, D cups natural but cant even titty fuck.......wow that's another world altogether but hey, same logic applies......
So my best SEXUAL encounter, is my 2nd wife, and good news is that, i'm still living out this encounter hahahaha

Get out there, make a few non-local girl friends, and welcome yourself to a different world. That will make you realise how fucked up our local breed are.
Its good to understand other cultures, other ways of life, what other people live for, what aspires them etc........yes, not all cultures are like ours which are so paper driven...damn, i used to know a NUT in uni taking Hitlerism......wtf??????? What can u do with that after you graduate?????? Start another KuKlaxKlan??????????? Damn

I myself have been stuck on local girls all my life, and I thought I had commitment issues right up to the point of almost making a life-long mistake of proposing to a local woman I never loved, just because it seemed the "right" thing to do.
Learn from history and make adjustments to zero you scope for a better kill....just because you cant shoot a deer in Kentucky doesnt mean you have to fly to africa to shoot one!

I opened my eyes up, fell in love with a non-local, took a brave step forward despite everyone in this country telling me not to, and I can honestly say that I've never been happier with my life right now. Even if this relationship never worked out I could never go back to dating a local again. I wish this happiness upon everyone who wishes to find true love. Just be brave, step out, and enjoy the ride. Don't do the Singaporean thing and just "settle" for someone. Find love like I did. If it so happens that you discover the true meaning of love outside of this country, let no one talk you out of it, because this is your life and yours only.
You reap what you sow....just like how you clearly illustrated to us your flaws in getting THE RIGHT local, you proclaim non locals are better cos you seem to score better there.
Dude, no offense but i think your views on many areas in your livelihood needs major realignment else, if this prolongs, getting back will be near futile!

Also, very importantly, we're toking about WLs here, so if the chick you're toking about aint a WL, then you're preaching is totally out of tune liao:p

[iCoPuLaTe]

but does nt always work as there r lots of arrogant local girls who only think the world of themselves and wont even give a hoot of what their parents think and say. they can act act listen in front of their parents but will go back same old way once their backs r turned.

Yes, i totally agree with what you say..Thumbs up,very true as there are many different type of char bors with different chariterlistic.

please share your thoughts and experiences with local girls in this thread..

My ans was to reply to TS's quote，my experiances with my ex.

Are they as demanding as people think? Does the average man still stand a chance at landing a local graduate.Please share your true thoughts and feelings.

And of cos, i also share with some (after i got played out aka meeet my match) on how what i will do to make relationship better.Thus would not become demanding over time, and as well as my views ways for the average man standing a chance with a local graduate.Which happens to do some acts when they know you & let them ponder themselfs of how good this guys is,thus laying down a chance if it happens that "she" will be 1 of your prey.

[Panamera]

Women I missed - An Australian, A Turkish and A Japanese (or maybe 4 Japs gals :D)..No local gals have created and left such a fond memories and feeling yet!......When with them, no pressure, they took me as What I am, not Who I am and made me feel "I AM ME"..:D

[Charmaine]

I find what you posted is tooo over stereotyping and too biased on your own failures in securing a good catch thus branding them local gals as hopeless.
I for one can read insults about people, hey i insult too but there are just some things i wont agree just like that, kawan or not.
Let me share my opinion below in rid:

I would concur. Get out there, see the world, and for singles who have been searching for Miss Right all your lives, what in God's name is stopping you from flirting and having a little bit of fun with women outside of this country? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It's exotic, exciting, and to be brutally honest, it will show you alternative faces of women you have never seen before.
Oh yes, the magic word, EXOTIC...slurp slurp reminded me the 1st time i landed in Australia for my uni...man wat a jolly WILD time i had

It's easy to generalise what defines the typical Singapore woman - it's much less clear-cut once you cross our own borders and look beyond.
Singapore girls do have their strong points, but being docile / loving / sacrificial isn't one of them, and the perils of getting involved with one far outweighs the potential benefits.
In any fruit plantation, you will always have the juicy ones and those that are sour, you are wat you are and birds of a feather does always flock together. This is also a primary cos of many of the blokes here looking for love locally but no having much success...but then again, there are also many success stories and just u just penned down are breathing and walking around, happily married etc
I'll give u 3 examples:

1) My 1st & 2nd wives, all local, have been wif me through thick n thin and both clocked over 10yrs wif me liao.
They are smart, cunning, down to earth, and most importantly, KNOW THEIR PLACE!
Both are uni grads. One from Canada the other from Melbourne.
Both ENSURE my daily well being and have never said a no in their lives wif me yet! Surprising...not to me...they would discuss but never outright say no.
They know i hate the heat here, thus, even eating, they'll take tissue and clean my sweat.....I've yet to see another woman do this in public on our island but I'm glad to proclaim that I have 3 who does that.

2) Neighbour's wife. Early 30s married to an accountant. Husband uni grad only, wife, MBA in Finance and Economics. After having her 1st kid, she became a home maker. Very sweet, down to earth and damn, sometime i fantasize about her...hehehehehe
No branded stuff, very simple family and family drives a Nissan Latio........
When my frens see her, WOW, your neighbour's wife u onz liao buay is always the same thing spoken.....so u get what i mean

3) 2nd wife's cousin.
Also a MBA holder, somehow married a hawker, YES LOVE IS BLIND I GUESS hahaha, also very down to earth, dropped her corporate life and became a hawker instead of having a comfortable office wif people to suck up to her

I have provided 3 not as a challenge but just to clarify that there are good ones too!

I lie in danger of being over-stereotypical, but even in the area of love-making they leave much to be desired. They expect too much and give too little, and their lack of even a reasonable level of skill in bed, primarily because of the reluctance to try as well as an abhorrent lack of social experience and sex education, is appalling. I speak from a personal standpoint - Singaporeans are the worst in bed I've ever encountered.
Well yes and no....The 2 PRC wives that i have all come experienced but seem not being able to just do some little more stuff to FREAK ME OUT on bed big time.
1st wife, not a SEX CREATURE but she tries...poor child can see sweat dripping......
2nd wife.....ANIMAL! Puts in effort and always game to try anything i suggest. Damn, we've done some stuff you wont even do with a FL hahahahaha.......but then again, its very individual.....
I remembered when i was in Shanghai years back and met this hot chick....we knocked it off and before you knew it, we were already in bed nude.
One thing let to another and i was just about to shove me dick into her mouth and....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeee, you know what this is for, you put in my mouth...no no.......though i really liked her, i bit the bullet & asked her to fuck off the very next minute!
So again, both sides exists everywhere
When i was in Brussels, got involved wif an ang mo...nice, sexy and demure......we always tot they were wild...but this one...no no.....plus factor, D cups natural but cant even titty fuck.......wow that's another world altogether but hey, same logic applies......
So my best SEXUAL encounter, is my 2nd wife, and good news is that, i'm still living out this encounter hahahaha

Get out there, make a few non-local girl friends, and welcome yourself to a different world. That will make you realise how fucked up our local breed are.
Its good to understand other cultures, other ways of life, what other people live for, what aspires them etc........yes, not all cultures are like ours which are so paper driven...damn, i used to know a NUT in uni taking Hitlerism......wtf??????? What can u do with that after you graduate?????? Start another KuKlaxKlan??????????? Damn

I myself have been stuck on local girls all my life, and I thought I had commitment issues right up to the point of almost making a life-long mistake of proposing to a local woman I never loved, just because it seemed the "right" thing to do.
Learn from history and make adjustments to zero you scope for a better kill....just because you cant shoot a deer in Kentucky doesnt mean you have to fly to africa to shoot one!

I opened my eyes up, fell in love with a non-local, took a brave step forward despite everyone in this country telling me not to, and I can honestly say that I've never been happier with my life right now. Even if this relationship never worked out I could never go back to dating a local again. I wish this happiness upon everyone who wishes to find true love. Just be brave, step out, and enjoy the ride. Don't do the Singaporean thing and just "settle" for someone. Find love like I did. If it so happens that you discover the true meaning of love outside of this country, let no one talk you out of it, because this is your life and yours only.
You reap what you sow....just like how you clearly illustrated to us your flaws in getting THE RIGHT local, you proclaim non locals are better cos you seem to score better there.
Dude, no offense but i think your views on many areas in your livelihood needs major realignment else, if this prolongs, getting back will be near futile!

Also, very importantly, we're toking about WLs here, so if the chick you're toking about aint a WL, then you're preaching is totally out of tune liao:p

Hey, it's all good! Loved your perspectives too. :)

[mike1304k]

I fully agree with BroDYBJ.

Like I earlier mentioned, there are good ones and bad ones in any fruit garden. Generally speaking the local ladies will be a bit more stuck up, but it is because they are generally better educated and have been brought up in such a society. But it is also in a part how their father treated them. In a way, the father is the first guy the girl will ever love. So if he pampers her and treat like a fairy tale princess, she will want the same feeling from any other guy. But if the father brings her up in a balanced sort of way, and teaches her good family values, her mother teaches her the motherly figure sort of character, she will also adopt that attitude.

But even if we go far abroad to find our true love, we may never find it. Not unless we know what we are looking for. For me, my wife also wipes my sweat in public, is a Uni grad and is successful in her own right. But in the home, she is the master and I have to accept that. It is her culture. She gives me face outside, but in the home, she is boss. So it is up to all of us to find out what we want, how we want it and also how much we are willing to give to get it.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Hey, it's all good! Loved your perspectives too. :)

No worries bro, we all have our right to our own perspectives in the way we wanna pursuit our pathetic lives hahahaha
But a gentle reminder, your post did hit a nail in me...not for me but for you.
Do relook at your priorities and your selection regime ya
Till then, CHEONG AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I fully agree with BroDYBJ.

Generally speaking the local ladies will be a bit more stuck up, but it is because they are generally better educated and have been brought up in such a society. But it is also in a part how their father treated them. In a way, the father is the first guy the girl will ever love. So if he pampers her and treat like a fairy tale princess, she will want the same feeling from any other guy. But if the father brings her up in a balanced sort of way, and teaches her good family values, her mother teaches her the motherly figure sort of character, she will also adopt that attitude.

But even if we go far abroad to find our true love, we may never find it. Not unless we know what we are looking for. For me, my wife also wipes my sweat in public, is a Uni grad and is successful in her own right. But in the home, she is the master and I have to accept that. It is her culture. She gives me face outside, but in the home, she is boss. So it is up to all of us to find out what we want, how we want it and also how much we are willing to give to get it.

Well said well said.
Let's turn the tables...we say local ladies are more stuck up.
Look at us? Guys that is.
If we're highly educated and successful, you think you'll take and act like a nerdy nerd?
Yet to meet one in this category.
Look at our legendary James Chong and Kiko.........they'll be like the gals we're damning about and they, the gals that will be controlling them........
Its so outright obvious........

Like i always say, pointing the finger outwards is so damn effortless.
Try pointing it inwards...then you'll see how difficult it is to ADMIT to yourself your flaws

[HCKing]

Well said well said.
Let's turn the tables...we say local ladies are more stuck up.
Look at us? Guys that is.
If we're highly educated and successful, you think you'll take and act like a nerdy nerd?
Yet to meet one in this category.
Look at our legendary James Chong and Kiko.........they'll be like the gals we're damning about and they, the gals that will be controlling them........
Its so outright obvious........

Like i always say, pointing the finger outwards is so damn effortless.
Try pointing it inwards...then you'll see how difficult it is to ADMIT to yourself your flaws

u r right, damn hard to admit one's flaws and damn easy to pin point other's flaws and weaknesses. who knws maybe in the eyes of foreign girls local guys are also full of flaws and weaknesses but for the sake of hooking a cai tao for a better life here they LL have to accept and act otherwise. one can never tell.:rolleyes:

[fatguy]

my 2cents...

Local girls got 2 kinds...

the successful, power women type (type A), that wants a career, power and fame...

and the "I want wait to get married and start a family type"

i dated both kinds before, usually type A is what we call, stuck up, hard to get, must spend alot of money to please, blah blah blah...

and the other type, is usually taken. :P

my personal experience is that it's easier to date a girl with a lower education level as me, i guess i'm juz a pure MCP. and if you want to make the relationship with a girl work, you juz gotta spoil her silly.

For foreign ladies, especially those from developing countries, singapore guys are more faithful, less likely to take multiple wives (it's against the law after all.) most guys in their home country are either CMI, or a playboy (tat wat my past 2 FL have told me, don't flame).

[leecs]

my personal experience is that it's easier to date a girl with a lower education level as me, i guess i'm juz a pure MCP. and if you want to make the relationship with a girl work, you juz gotta spoil her silly.



If you spoil her too much, she will climb over your head & your life will be hard. Im experiencing it now.

[mike1304k]

Bro,

In life, there is nothing that you cannot control. Your wife may seem to be climbing above your head, but it is whether you want to or not. Like I said before, my wife controls my house. I give her all my salary every month for her to use to look after the house and later my children. In the house, she is in total control of the things we need to buy and so on... It is the Japanese culture. But you know something? She also knows that I am the one letting her do the controlling. She knows that I pay all the bills and bring in the dough. She knows that it is my job to bring in the dough and her job to look after my home. She will not try to climb over my head.

And in my house, I control the kitchen. I can cook and in most weekends I do the cooking. The reason is purely political. A woman's power base is the kitchen. However, if your mom lives with you and your wife lives with you, then both women will be fighting over who controls the kitchen. But I control it. I say what to cook and how to cook. So now both women can only apply for temporary permits to cook in my kitchen. So no mean mother-in-law or lazy daughter in law sh*t in my house.

But bro... it is how you allow and whether you want to allow lah... Dats y I always see people complain they see bei chum, kenna control, I would say it is whether you want to kenna or not lor. I let her control me when I am at home because I know she wants the best. When she ask me to go take my shower, it is because she wants me to be clean and relax. If not, then like a typical male, I will just take things easy and lie on bed before shower or so on... So like I said... everywhere also same... It is how you take it in life.

[leecs]

Bro, i know what you mean.. Its just that from the beginning of the relationship, I've always been the giver till now & she took it for granted i will sure give in. I give in becaue i like her, but its getting too much.

2 weeks ago, I came home late & i forgot to tell her. When i reached home & about to sleep, she locked the master bedroom door. I plead & beg her to open the door for a full 15mins & she wont open. i gotta sleep in the living room & i cant go to work the next day because my belongings are inside. Its my fault for informing her & i apologized. But to the extend of locking the door? Even my mum doesnt do that.

Last week i trashed everything out with her. Told her give us time to rethink what we want for our marriage.

[brandonheat]

First of all, i'm a foreigner~
been here for 3 years and found that sg gals are not 'easy' :P
hehehe..so maybe i'll look for another foreigner in singapore :P
they are quite complicated with high expectations as they are good themselves...
guys got ego and like to be superior :)
so they look for foreign girls :)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Are u a man?????????????
Sorry for saying this but the more i read your posts, the more feminine i feel u r!
Weak to be blunt!
Its ok to respect your spouse but never ever let her rule your life!
Its just like a spoilt brat, do not submit or this is what you get.
Show respect give and take ya but what you're doing, actually, you're already poisoning the relationship.
As a man, be the master of the house and also, no matter how much face you want to give her to feed her ego...fine but do remember to occassionally to remind her of her place.
I used to tell my wife, i keep quiet doesnt mean you win...its just i dun wanna fight......
Drag that beast out, i dun give a mutha fuck if u wear a skirt, i'll whoop your sorry ass..........
Some women just need the occassional knock in their head!

[mike1304k]

Are u a man?????????????
Sorry for saying this but the more i read your posts, the more feminine i feel u r!
Weak to be blunt!
Its ok to respect your spouse but never ever let her rule your life!
Its just like a spoilt brat, do not submit or this is what you get.
Show respect give and take ya but what you're doing, actually, you're already poisoning the relationship.
As a man, be the master of the house and also, no matter how much face you want to give her to feed her ego...fine but do remember to occassionally to remind her of her place.
I used to tell my wife, i keep quiet doesnt mean you win...its just i dun wanna fight......
Drag that beast out, i dun give a mutha fuck if u wear a skirt, i'll whoop your sorry ass..........
Some women just need the occassional knock in their head!


Clap clap clap.... Well said!!! Thats exactly what I mean... But seriously lor... for me, since beginning I already told my wife... I will treat her nice and will not be different even while dating and even after marriage. So she give me shit, I will shit back at her... Quid pro quo. Like I mentioned, ask the girl what she can bring into the relationship? If she bring nothing, she is of no value. Be it WL, FL, normal lady... all same... They don't contribute... we have choice not to accept. Local or foreign also same same.

Even if you have a char bor as pretty or sexy as Fiona Xie... so what? What can she bring into the relationship? If it is just a great body and sex... she will be classified as such and I will keep the relationship as such. If she can cook clean and so on... I will consider other alternatives. The choice is yours mah... That is why I said I do not believe in being pussy whipped. It is only you want or don't want. But please hor... in so saying... do not turn into a beast and start to bitch slap your spouse or gal fren at every whim unless it is some form of sex play hor... In order to gain respect, we must also give respect hor.

[Gaofar]

Drag that beast out, i dun give a mutha fuck if u wear a skirt, i'll whoop your sorry ass..........

Hahaha! A bit of an overdoes of Chris Rock isn't it? :D

Seriously, if I were to ever encounter this situation of wife lock the door, don't even think about me begging! I'll knock down that bloody door and coolly just take whatever stuff that I need while she'll be probably sit there shellshocked... :D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Hahaha! A bit of an overdoes of Chris Rock isn't it? :D

Seriously, if I were to ever encounter this situation of wife lock the door, don't even think about me begging! I'll knock down that bloody door and coolly just take whatever stuff that I need while she'll be probably sit there shellshocked... :D

Actually i've dun this before to my 4th.
Broke down the door wif 2 solid kicks...had to change the whole fucking door after haha
Went in, dragged her outta bed, gave her a fucking tight slap, pushed her out of the door, closed it and slept on the bed.
She spent the whole night in the living room weeping.
Next morning, whilst i was on the road to office, i received a sms from her saying she's sorry and she crossed the line.
I just replied, it's ok, dun make it a habit & i wont make what i did a habit too!
Never happened again!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Bro, i know what you mean.. Its just that from the beginning of the relationship, I've always been the giver till now & she took it for granted i will sure give in. I give in becaue i like her, but its getting too much.

2 weeks ago, I came home late & i forgot to tell her. When i reached home & about to sleep, she locked the master bedroom door. I plead & beg her to open the door for a full 15mins & she wont open. i gotta sleep in the living room & i cant go to work the next day because my belongings are inside. Its my fault for informing her & i apologized. But to the extend of locking the door? Even my mum doesnt do that.

Last week i trashed everything out with her. Told her give us time to rethink what we want for our marriage.

Looks like you've migrated your postings to this thread.
Remember what i told you in your thread and this will also apply to the TS here:

You do not marry someone to buy a HBD flat like many young couples do and live to regret it FOREVER!
You do not marry someone cos you wanna have babies
You do not marry someone cos you love her
You do not marry someone cos she's a good fuck

You marry someone cos she's reliable
You marry someone cos she's got integrity
You marry someone cos you know she'll be with you through thick and thin no matter what in sickness & in health or wealth
You marry someone cos you know she will be a good mother and can take care of the family and share your burdens and contribute to the family wealth
Most importantly, you marry someone cos she's also mentally ready to settle down and have a family of her own

[Gaofar]

Bro leecs...

请你不要在这里诉苦了。。你的事我们这些兄弟可以帮的都已经帮了。。

After I've read your posts, you seems to display traits of weakness and self-inferiority!.. Get a grip of yourself and be more confident!

[HCKing]

Bro, i know what you mean.. Its just that from the beginning of the relationship, I've always been the giver till now & she took it for granted i will sure give in. I give in becaue i like her, but its getting too much.

2 weeks ago, I came home late & i forgot to tell her. When i reached home & about to sleep, she locked the master bedroom door. I plead & beg her to open the door for a full 15mins & she wont open. i gotta sleep in the living room & i cant go to work the next day because my belongings are inside. Its my fault for informing her & i apologized. But to the extend of locking the door? Even my mum doesnt do that.

Last week i trashed everything out with her. Told her give us time to rethink what we want for our marriage.

i believe u always give in because u love her alot, scared of losing her, scared to offend her, scared she ignores u etc. but loving someone doesnt mean have to always give in no matter wats the circumstances all the time. just like parents, they love their children, sometimes they will pamper the children whereas sometimes they will also scold their children, depending on situation. imagine if the parents only pamper their children all the time and dare nt even raise their voices on them, even if wat they did were wrong, wat u think these kids will become in the future?

nw that u have trashed it out with her, let her knw of yr stand and what u expect of her as a wife. in watever relationship or marriage it always take 2 hands to clap. gd luck bro.

[leecs]

Thanks for the reply.

DO_U_BJ, I remember what you posted very clearly. For your last sentence:

Most importantly, you marry someone cos she's also mentally ready to settle down and have a family of her own

shes not mentally ready to settle down & have a family & i've made a wrong move on this. I've since given her the cold treatment. Its also impossible for me to revert back to my usual self on how i talk, joke, etc to her. The locking door issue is the max i can take.

[leecs]

i believe u always give in because u love her alot, scared of losing her, scared to offend her, scared she ignores u etc. but loving someone doesnt mean have to always give in no matter wats the circumstances all the time.

Thats precisely why. I really love her alot, thats why i give in. But this time, its too much for me to take.

nw that u have trashed it out with her, let her knw of yr stand and what u expect of her as a wife. in watever relationship or marriage it always take 2 hands to clap. gd luck bro.

I dont know what future our marriage lies ahead. I just take 1 step a day.

[mike1304k]

Bro Leecs,

The future is not yet here. It is what you want it to be. Sometimes, things may be beyond your control. How someone thinks or someone feels is also something you can nudge, but it is still up to that someone. But first and foremost, you must get a clear idea of what you want. Also how you want it. Then also you must be open and let your wife know what you expect of her. I bitch slap my wife sometimes when she gets out of control. While she is my wife, she will respect me and do what I tell her. Sometimes when I am wrong, she will tell me and I will have to take it like a man. Love is a 2 way thing. If this street becomes a one way street, then there will be trouble.

But before even attempting to say who caused what, take a step back or even take a step back with her and see where and how it went wrong. Many people marry for all the wrong reasons. But some will still find the right reason to stay together.

Remember our grandparents? Many were forced to marry by their parents to spouses who they may not have chosen. But yet we are her because they found the reason to stay together. The wife may not have been mentally ready, The husband may have another sweet young dish... whatever the reason, it is the future that you have to set. The road there may not be smooth, but how to ride out the bumps and the ruts will be up to you.

[Charmaine]

I used to tell my wife, i keep quiet doesnt mean you win...its just i dun wanna fight......
Drag that beast out, i dun give a mutha fuck if u wear a skirt, i'll whoop your sorry ass..........
Some women just need the occassional knock in their head!

Bravo. :) A lesson for all men.

[leecs]

Bro Leecs,

The future is not yet here. It is what you want it to be. Sometimes, things may be beyond your control. How someone thinks or someone feels is also something you can nudge, but it is still up to that someone. But first and foremost, you must get a clear idea of what you want. Also how you want it. Then also you must be open and let your wife know what you expect of her. I bitch slap my wife sometimes when she gets out of control. While she is my wife, she will respect me and do what I tell her. Sometimes when I am wrong, she will tell me and I will have to take it like a man. Love is a 2 way thing. If this street becomes a one way street, then there will be trouble.

But before even attempting to say who caused what, take a step back or even take a step back with her and see where and how it went wrong. Many people marry for all the wrong reasons. But some will still find the right reason to stay together.

Remember our grandparents? Many were forced to marry by their parents to spouses who they may not have chosen. But yet we are her because they found the reason to stay together. The wife may not have been mentally ready, The husband may have another sweet young dish... whatever the reason, it is the future that you have to set. The road there may not be smooth, but how to ride out the bumps and the ruts will be up to you.

Bro mike1304k,

Thanks for your kind words. Even though I’ve already trashed things out with her, but still this long road will be a tough 1. I don’t know will she be sarcastic again, me giving in like a mouse or repent. But as for me, it has faded away… No more of my usual self in front of her.

Yes, last time I admit i'm a pussy in front of her. Scared of her getting angry & what not. But now, I have already 看破了. I will let fate decide my road ahead.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Thanks for the reply.

DO_U_BJ, I remember what you posted very clearly. For your last sentence:

Most importantly, you marry someone cos she's also mentally ready to settle down and have a family of her own

shes not mentally ready to settle down & have a family & i've made a wrong move on this. I've since given her the cold treatment. Its also impossible for me to revert back to my usual self on how i talk, joke, etc to her. The locking door issue is the max i can take.

I hope she told you that n not you assumed!
Well, since you 2 are legally married, this is what i suggest of you.
Live your separate lives at home....
Be a MAN, no need to give cold treatment watsoever...just like small talk...eat already...or if you see her at home...wanna go makan??????
Do not EXPECT anything....just move wif the flow wif no expectations.......
Or if she comes back late or watever, do not spike her wif stares or toxic words.....more like...eat already? Very busy day???? Or just give a nice HARMLESS smile.
Trust me, you apply this method, you'll see things change!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do not pry to wat she does outside....in the meantime if i were you, i'd get a life outside as well....so when u go home, always smile smile happy happy cos all your need already catered for outside...so you just go home and sleep and still can occasionally rape your legal wife!

[leecs]

I hope she told you that n not you assumed!
Well, since you 2 are legally married, this is what i suggest of you.
Live your separate lives at home....
Be a MAN, no need to give cold treatment watsoever...just like small talk...eat already...or if you see her at home...wanna go makan??????
Do not EXPECT anything....just move wif the flow wif no expectations.......
Or if she comes back late or watever, do not spike her wif stares or toxic words.....more like...eat already? Very busy day???? Or just give a nice HARMLESS smile.
Trust me, you apply this method, you'll see things change!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do not pry to wat she does outside....in the meantime if i were you, i'd get a life outside as well....so when u go home, always smile smile happy happy cos all your need already catered for outside...so you just go home and sleep and still can occasionally rape your legal wife!

Dear DO_U_BJ

As a matter of fact, she didn’t tell me. I assumed & it’s the biggest mistake of my life.

I have since been cheonging more frequently & having a life outside on weekends starting this year. Even weekdays, 2-3 times after work. She told me she cant sleep because im not at home & shes worried, bla bla bla. I’ve told her work busy & wana de-stress with my colleagues. When im not cheonging, I did exactly what you proposed, small talk.. eat already… sleeping soon ah, wana smoke.. etc.. then she’ll always turn in 1st.

I didn’t pry if she comes back late. There was once I came home abit late, 7.30pm. (Im always home at 6.30) she smsed me where am i. I replied having dinner with my friends. She replied your handphone low batt is it? Don’t know how to tell me is it. KNNBCCB!!!!!

Im not gonna reconcile this marriage. Im just seeing how long it can last. My feelings for her has gone. Luckily we are childless. Only commitment is the house & renovation loans.

I forgot to add something to the locking door thread I’ve posted. After the next day, she went to sleep in the spare room for a week +. She even lock that door. Last mon I asked her how long is she gonna sleep in that room. She said until I ask her to come back & sleep. Then I keep my fucking mouth shut. After awhile. She say she move back in the next day. WTF? She wants me to give in again

[mike1304k]

Dear DO_U_BJ

As a matter of fact, she didn’t tell me. I assumed & it’s the biggest mistake of my life.

I have since been cheonging more frequently on weekends starting this year. Even weekdays, 2-3 times after work. She told me she cant sleep because im not at home & shes worried, bla bla bla. I’ve told her work busy & wana de-stress with my colleagues. When im not cheonging, I did exactly what you proposed, small talk.. eat already… sleeping soon ah, wana smoke.. etc.. then she’ll always turn in 1st.

I didn’t pry if she comes back late. There was once I came home abit late, 7.30pm. (Im always home at 6.30) she smsed me where am i. I replied having dinner with my friends. She replied your handphone low batt is it? Don’t know how to tell me is it. KNNBCCB!!!!!

Im not gonna reconcile this marriage. Im just seeing how long it can last. My feelings for her has gone. Luckily we are childless. Only commitment is the house & renovation loans.

I forgot to add something to the locking door thread I’ve posted. After the next day, she went to sleep in the spare room for a week +. She even lock that door. Last mon I asked her how long is she gonna sleep in that room. She said until I ask her to come back & sleep. Then I keep my fucking mouth shut. After awhile. She say she move back in the next day. WTF? She wants me to give in again

Bro... from your own words... she says she cannot sleep because she is alone and she is worried.... So that means she cares...

From your own words too... you have given up.... but are just hanging on to see how long it lasts...

My question to you is... Are you sado masochistic?? If it you give up liao... then give her her freedom lah... In a way, have you thought about the unhealthy situation you have at your home? So for the sake of her and your happiness, perhaps it is time to call it quits, tell her how you feel and see if a clean and proper divorce is possible.

Hey, you can afford to wait hor... but the longer she waits... the older sh gets and the older she gets... it will be harder for her to get on with her life hor... So be a man and get down to what is causing all these problems and then find a way to settle it. I wish you luck tho bro... because you really do not seem to know what you want in this relationship or marriage.

[Panamera]

Bro mike1304k,

Yes, last time I admit i'm a pussy in front of her. Scared of her getting angry & what not. But now, I have already 看破了. I will let fate decide my road ahead.

Bro, no, no, dont let fate decide. Its your life, you decide...

A priest asked the Master, "What is fate?"

The Master answered:

It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence.
It is that which men in formertimes had to bear upon their backs.
It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness.

"And that is fate?" said the priest.
"Fate... I thought you said Freight", responded the Master.

"That's all right" said the priest, "I wanted to know about Freight too."


Fate is in your hand. Dont try to run away from this problem - Face It, Deal with It and Resolve It.

[cablesnwires]

Bro leecs, what exactly did you trash with her? Everything? Did you ask her about whether she's mentally ready to settle down? Please don't assume!!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups......
You assumed she was ready....
Now you assume she is not ready.......
I really suggest you have a real nice heart to heart talk to her and find out.
I am not a professional councilor but if you need someone present to hear her side of the story, I VOLUNTEER!
Cos its already clear to me this is beyond you already....so everything u think, u just answer yourself.
To be honest, till today, your story seems a bit weak....I'm still trying to accept things as they are but somehow, just feels there's a missing link somewhere.
Last, only when everyone, including u hear her side of the story, can we really know what was the ROOT of everything...........................

[BKnight]

Bro leecs, You seem to be moving further and further away from your initial intent of saving this marriage........What you want now? You want to prove that now you no longer a soft guy and is challenging her? Fighting back?

[slider_72]

2 weeks ago, I came home late & i forgot to tell her. When i reached home & about to sleep, she locked the master bedroom door. I plead & beg her to open the door for a full 15mins & she wont open. i gotta sleep in the living room & i cant go to work the next day because my belongings are inside. Its my fault for informing her & i apologized. But to the extend of locking the door? Even my mum doesnt do that.

Finally some additional info about your wife. Bro, maybe she has bipolar disorder. You might want to bring her to see a shrink. But to me, it seems like she cares about you lei. When you home late she will sms you and find out where you are, can't sleep when you are home late, etc.

I mentioned before in your previous thread that I think you are just looking for an excuse to divorce your wife. I still hold that same view.



A priest asked the Master, "What is fate?"

The Master answered:

It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence.
It is that which men in formertimes had to bear upon their backs.
It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness.

"And that is fate?" said the priest.
"Fate... I thought you said Freight", responded the Master.

"That's all right" said the priest, "I wanted to know about Freight too."

I don't get it. :confused: Sibei chim bro.

Maybe after talking about freight, the priest and Master will start negotiating laycan, demurrage, cargo description, load port, disport, last three cargoes and overage premium. :D

[leecs]

Bro leecs, what exactly did you trash with her? Everything? Did you ask her about whether she's mentally ready to settle down? Please don't assume!!

We basically trashed what we are unhappy about each other, everything.

[HCKing]

Bro leecs, You seem to be moving further and further away from your initial intent of saving this marriage........What you want now? You want to prove that now you no longer a soft guy and is challenging her? Fighting back?

think the guy is sick and tired of always being a giver in a relationship. best is he can talk to his wife abt their problems instead of only talking abt them in open forum for everyone to knw but not his wife.

[cablesnwires]

...if you need someone present to hear her side of the story, I VOLUNTEER!

Can I join? I always wanted to be a counselor.

To be honest, till today, your story seems a bit weak....I'm still trying to accept things as they are but somehow, just feels there's a missing link somewhere.
Last, only when everyone, including u hear her side of the story, can we really know what was the ROOT of everything...........................

I agree that we are missing bits and pieces of information, though I can't really pinpoint it.

Bro leecs, I believe right now, whatever things she does, you will just find some excuses to strengthen your resolve for your divorce.

In my opinion, you will need to change the way you are thinking right now. Only with this change, then only your wife, with help can change. Otherwise, whatever she tries to do, will be misconstrued as something very negative.

Whether you take heed or not, it's your life. Wish you all the best.

[leecs]

I’m also not a good guy. I have my bad points too.

I try to remember & relate what we trashed out.

Her: Are you still angry with me?

Me: Yes

Her: But I’ve already apologized to you.

Me: I know. But there’s no need to lock the door right. I know I’m in the wrong. I’ve pleaded & beg you to open the door & you didn’t. I have to fucking sleep in the living room. Do you know how I felt? Not even my mum does that.

Her: But I was angry you didn’t tell me you’ll be home late. That’s why I locked the door. I’m worried for you. I know that I’m sarcastic. But I can’t control it.

Me: I’ve always been the giver since the start of our courtship. I’ve also told you not to be sarcastic when we quarrel, but you kept on doing it. It’s already up to my brim. Every time when we quarrel, you’ll give me that feeling you’re dead or alive, it’s not my problem.

Her: I know. But that’s my character. Then why didn’t you go ahead & quarrel with me?

Me: If I were to go ahead, this marriage would have long gone with the wind. That’s why I gave in to you.

Her: Thats why i like you. You keep giving in to me.

Me: I kept quiet.

Her: Ask you something, Do you still love me?

Me: I don’t know. After all these locking door & giving in issues, I really don’t know. Lets give us some tim to re-think what we want for this marriage.

Her: Then she cries & go take 5 & drank red wine.

Theres more, but this is the best I can remember. Im not hiding anything from her side or mine.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

This is not thrashing things out.
More like 斗气 to me.
Seems like there's some childishness involved.
Alot of pride too......
With all these elements present, how to solve anything wor??????????????????

[cablesnwires]

Bro leecs, while i applaud you for writing down the details, these are not the details you should be discussing. You should be looking at the big picture. What's past is past, and no use to quarrel and bring this out anymore.

Most important is what do you want? Work on the marriage? Divorce? And from the looks of it, you have already made up your mind. You are just looking at the one thing that will encourage you to go ahead with your decision.

So looks like there's no point for me to say anything more. All the best to you brother.

[Gaofar]

You know what I see? I see that she is also trying to reach out to you too... And can see that she is also having difficulty in communicating with you... Such things will happen when both parties start to live together and after a while hits a plateau...

But the info is truly not enough if just based on this bit of info and on top from your own words... Need both party then can see things better...

[slider_72]

Bro leecs, while i applaud you for writing down the details, these are not the details you should be discussing. You should be looking at the big picture. What's past is past, and no use to quarrel and bring this out anymore.

Exactly my point to him in his previous thread bro.

Bro leecs, just focusing on a few isolated incidence is not going to help very much. You should go back to the source of the problem and identify the root cause. Otherwise, you can treat the symptoms but may never cure the disease.

[ManInCheong]

Here's my point of view about "Local Girls"

Local girls, pretty, trendy, dictator and irreasonable. But these are only a minor part of singapore girls that tarnished the name of our local SYT. But these syndromes applies to ALL Local WOMEN (married women). Anyway, here are some professions of local girl that have these syndromes even before they are married:-

RANKING
2. Accountant/Account Assistant - Yes. They will control your wallet and manage your account to 0.01 dollar accuracy. Be prepared to receive your daily "POCKET MONEY" or "PETTY CASH" :D
3. Quantity Surveyor (QS) - Slightly different from type 2. They will manage your BILLS to 0.01 dollar accuracy.
4. Admin Assistant - This type of girl will control your EVERYTHING. Wat time your wake up. Wat time you reach home...bla...bla...bla...
5. Model - They want men to earn more than them. More free than them. Taller than them. Lives in style and drive a sport car. They think their pussy got gold. Many work part time as FL or Escort.
6. Air Stewardess - Same as 5 with slightly better attitude. Except they get a stable income ranging from 4k to 6k. Before recession.
7. Manageress - Any trait. Unless you earn more than them and have higher position than them or are gigolo...dun try to get near these lady emperors.
8. Financial Advisor - They will advise you and make decision for you either you wants it or not.
9. Insurance Agent - Bros should see these in lots of local drama and local movie.
10. Property Agent - You will have lots of time browsing SBF and going out for "FOOD".

Ranking no.1 in the chart. Girl-Next-Door
Definition: Women who are always comparing what they get with other women around them. The negative way.
Syndrome start:-
She: My sis BF bought her a diamond necklace
She: My fren BF bought a new car
She: My fren BF is a lawyer earning bla...bla...bla...
He: ...
Syndrome max:-
She: Our neighbour's son went to International school...how about our son...
She: Our neighbour bought a new piano for their daughter 7th birthday
She: Our neighbour moving to a new condo 2 million wan
She: Our neighbour bought a new 68" Bravia
He: Why don't you go and live with our NEIGHBOUR?

Happy cheonging to all SBF bro during the weekend :D

p.s Always get a girl that can't cook...Actually...most of them cant even make a proper "Maggi" nowaday